shut up voice

I say go away to the voice in my head
For he annoying can be
Just shut up your moaning and stop all your droning
So I can get on with poetry

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shadows of the brook

There is an effervescent brook running through the forest
Green shimmers along its bumpy waves and shadows of bygone days
Moss upon rocks gives shelter to life, frogs sit upon them and they know no strife
The cackles of the woodland tease and frolic during the day
Always happy and larking, always in play
The shadows of the brook is always this way

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somethings in nature are obscure

The field is green, the sky is blue and yet I never tire of you
Nature fine and nature pure
Often I’ll find things that are obscure
Day to day there’s new things to find
And none of them are to be claimed for none of them are mine
Each breeze and petal, leaf and stone
Are not mine to touch, move or own
They are just there, for us to find
But most of us are almost blind
We try to own nature in any way
Take and take and do not play
I love nature, leave it be
Let all nature remain free

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Meet The Weirds by Kaye Umansky.

Meet The Weirds by Kaye Umansky.
A wonderful book about friendships being built between children who come from the opposite ends of the social spectrum; a really funny read that left me wanting more, however the book ended abruptly and made me feel a little cheated as there were hardly any plot; the book should be extended.

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You’re a bad man Mr. Gum books 1 to 5

You’re a bad man Mr. Gum by Andy Stanton.

I read these books in June 2014 as they were highly recommended to me by various members at goodreads.com and I have to say I am bitterly disappointed.

I would never let a child of mine read these unless they were teenagers, I really don’t find these books suitable for under twelves; they seem to condone animal cruelty, crime, dog poisoning, selling rancid meat and all sorts of undesirable trash that makes being evil seem cooler than being good, which in my opinion is not something I want to convey to my children – in fact they make the good people in the book come across as total idiots and evil people as being very clever, truly shocking as a children’s series to be honest, I was expecting far better.

The rating for these books is low, despite the humor in some pages; I think these books should be re-categorized as adult fantasy comedy.

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A peach

A ball of burnt orange and red felt is clasped within my hands, I can smell its fragrance it taunts me to take a bite, I feel obliged. Slowly I bite the over ripe fruit and the juice trickles down my chin, drenching my white blouse but I do not care, for the moment and those moments after is sheer heavenly bliss.

The ball of felt has teased all of my senses, the furriness caresses my lips, and the fruit is tangy, watery and cool on my tongue and in my mouth, the fragrance appetizing, alluring, and enveloping and the sight soul clenching.

A slight embarrassment takes me over as I hear the lapping of the juices around my mouth, a little laughter of my friends who’ve noted my secret pleasure with the summer snack, abashed I take a napkin and wipe myself clean, that fruit was simply, perfectly supreme.

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I’m back

I am back after a long illness, still not fully recovered but missed updating this blog a lot.

I had a sinus infection in December which affected the chest too and by late April I got pneumonia because of the prolonged infection; thankfully pneumonia is no longer an issue, though I still have those infections even now and I have been told on Wednesday that there could be further health complications with my ears.

The sinus has caused pressure in my left ear which has affected my hearing due to making the ear drum deformed (hopefully temporarily); this is scary stuff as I am already completely deaf in my right ear and have been since 1997, so this is worrying news indeed.

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5 Things Nurses Want You To Know But Can’t Ever Tell You

Originally posted on Thought Catalog:

1. We cry at home for you.

Nurses might seem like we have it all together while we are working hard to take care of you, but the truth is that sometimes after a particularly heavy shift, we cry our freaking eyes out over your/your families pain. Sometimes the stress of taking care of you while you are very critically ill is not only mentally, but also physically exhausting. We spend twelve hours at a time running around to get all of the supplies we need for your various tests, procedures, medications, and therapies, but really wish we could spend more time just holding your hand. Lots of people tell us “We don’t know how you can be a nurse! I could never do what you do.” Well, the thing is, we have all those same feelings too. The emotions that we have from watching…

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25 Books Every Writer Should Read

Originally posted on Flavorwire:

The hard work, the MFA vs. NYC debate, the negativity, the importance of a good Twitter account, the parties you have to go to, the readings you have to do, people you should meet, the agents you need to impress — amid all the different ways writers have found to obsess over what it takes to be successful, we sometimes forget the most important thing of all: great writers need to be great readers.

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Racing car mind

My mind is like a racing car, it takes me to familiar places or far

It speeds from thought to thought in ever careless turns

It spurts out random wisdom that I’ve in past have learned

My mind is unpredictable, my thoughts they rush and whizz

Sometimes I fear I’ll burn out, my brain will just fizz

I need to slow the pace a little, but I’ve tried and surely can’t

My mind is like a racing car, hear the crowds all chant

For my mind has many voices, that all shout at once at me

How I wish my mind would just give me one thought at a time please

My head feels like it’s been squeezed

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Readitswapit – A Book Swapping Site Experience

Originally posted on Handmade by Hannah:

A few weeks ago I stumbled upon a website called Readitswapit. It was recommended in a book on money saving tips as a place where you can swap books with other members, so the only cost involved is the postage. One the surface it seems like a good idea, especially for book clubs, as many people post the most current popular fiction up there. I thought I would give the website a go and see if it is worth it.

Initially, the swaps that I took part in worked out well as I traded some books that I had bought in my early teens for some newer books that I would like to read. As the books that I was posting were very light, the postage only cost around ninety pence, making it a worthwhile investment. However, when posting books any longer than two hundred pages, the postage cost can…

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universal ocean

 

The universe is a black ocean

Full of twists and turns

How I love to swim in its darkness

And fly too close to the sun that burns

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Grey Life

This world is my prison

I sit and wait and stare

I have beautiful dangling prisms

That shimmers in lights glare

 

I watch those pretty crystals

Hanging above my head

I dream of another world

That I’ll go to when I’m dead

 

I see the wonderful flowers

In a sunny meadow bright

I’ll sit under green bowers

Soaking in the sight

 

I can’t wait for death to take me

Away from this bloodshot world

I hope fate has heard my plea

Under this branch I am curled

 

I’ll dream of another life

In another place

I hope it’s a life without strife

Or where I’m seen as a disgrace

 

I can’t abide this morbid world

Not for another day

I am lost in a netherworld

I need to run and play

 

This world is my prison

I am sure of it today

I need to fall into the crystal prisms

And leave this life that’s grey

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Paulo Coelho – The Alchemist

Image & quotes taken from Goodreads

Image & quotes taken from Goodreads

One of the most inspirational authors of all time in my opinion is Paulo Coelho.

I have a particular fondness for his book “The Alchemist”; it is full of spiritual inspiration, positivity and motivation.

“The Alchemist” was one of those books where I couldn’t put it down for long and I am a slow but avid reader which meant this was two days’ worth of reading for me and I found every word spectacular and poetic.

I think perhaps this book touched me because I have always believed in the theory of cosmic ordering, working with the universe by changing your personal thought processes into a more positive structure – surrounding yourself with aspirations and motivational comments, reflecting on the good things in your life and trying hard to forget the bad things or at least, prevent the bad things from becoming the forefront of your mind.

There are sections of this book that indicate to me that Paulo Coelho must also believe in the philosophy of cosmic ordering himself though I may be wrong but the following quotes are very cosmic ordering suggestive;

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

“So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you.”

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”

“We are travellers on a cosmic journey, stardust, swirling and dancing in the eddies and whirlpools of infinity. Life is eternal. We have stopped for a moment to encounter each other, to meet, to love, to share. This is a precious moment. It is a little parenthesis in eternity.”

“Every blessing ignored becomes a curse.”

“People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them.”

These are just a few of the many wonderful words written in the book “The Alchemist” by Paulo Coelho and from what I’ve heard (though haven’t yet read) that his many other books are also filled with the same inspiring prose as this all-time classic.  I do endeavor to read more of Paulo Coelho’s books soon, when I do, I am sure to update my findings here.

This book spiritually changed me for the better and set me on a new path in life, I truly recommend this book for anyone who is losing faith in the world around them (by faith I am not talking religion but by faith in human nature or faith in the universe looking out for you).

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Go ahead, call me out – I write about Vampires and Romance and I’ll kick your ass!

Originally posted on Vampire Maman:

Alright, I have to admit I wrote that headline to get your attention.

I should have written “Haters are going to hate” or “Read whatever you want – I don’t care.”

This morning I glanced at an article on a well-known news website about Romance writers. It was interesting. It was fun. The writer mentioned the male models who grace the covers with their splendid bodies. Fun stuff. At least it was fun until I scrolled down to all of the rude and snarky comments from those who “don’t like romance.”

OK assholes, if you don’t like Romance DON’T READ IT. If you don’t like Vampires, Erotica, Popular Fiction, Mysteries, Suspense, Zombies, Ghosts, Westerns, Werewolves, Dragons, Fantasy, Time Travel, Medical Drama, Travel Logs, Lumberjack Drama, Amish Adventures, Magical Realism or any other genre type of book then DON’T READ IT.”

I have a secret for you…all the stuff you…

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a victims wish

I’m not the same as you; I don’t watch soaps on TV

I’m not in agreement with you, when you use chemicals on spiders and bees

I am a different person, everyone is, and that’s true

So how can you judge me, just because I’m not like you?

Would you like it if I said, you’re better off dead, because you have blond hair?

Would you like it if I said, you’re bony and unnatural, no you wouldn’t that wouldn’t be fair

Would you ignore my harmful chants if I said that you looked gay?

Would you ever feel the same again, after the things I’d say?

So how can you judge me, for the way I am?

How can you past judgement to a stranger on the sand?

I don’t know you, nor you me

So why do you feel the need to always correct me for being me?

I am large and I wear glasses, I have a burden to bear

Why do you need to make life more difficult, by your comments and your stare?

Set aside your viper tongue and live at peace with all

Who are you to judge other people, on what they look like have some gall

It doesn’t make you look big around your friends you know

Because behind your back they say things about you, that you wouldn’t rather know

Just keep your poisoned tongue silent, look and love the world

Don’t judge the strangers on the street, or fate on you will whirl

You won’t always be perfect my dear, slim or unblemished – one day you’ll see what you’ve done

Punished by fate that your victims wished

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ethical vampire

I once knew a vampire who couldn’t accept the kill

Always sat back thoughtfully, making himself ill

He called himself an ethical vampire

That all others should aspire, to refrain from the killing of mortal men

Yet to him I lift the pen

And wrote to him this

 

To kill for your nourishment may not be bliss, but read my words carefully and listen to this

There are beasts in the world that kill like you do, and mortal men eat meat just as you used to

Therefore what’s the difference, between now and then?  Other than the blood you take’s fresher

Is it because you’ve seen its life end?

 

He replied after a while and a letter I received

It said, thank you my dear for clarifying this fact

You’ve made me less anxious in the killing act

Now away I will go, into the night

I will now have my first guiltless bite

I never heard from him again, but I have heard from another vampire friend that he is quite well

And growing strong, and has always said he’ll remember me in fond

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The madness known as blood lust

I cannot satisfy my blood lust anymore

It attacks me each and every day

In each and every way I want more

I cannot refuse it, but it doesn’t quench my thirst

So I carry on, my eternity is turning grey

I wish it would stop, to fate I implore

 

I’ve heard some of us go mad

The vampires of old have said

Drink blood till it’s cold and bad

A blood-lust can get you can get in your head

I can’t control it, it controls me

I can’t run away, from myself I can’t flee

 

I kill tirelessly, drinking, crying, and watching people dying because of me

I’m a vampire; I’ve gone mad I’ve bats in the belfry

I cannot stop the killing, someone please stop me

A vampire kills to survive, not more than three a week

Yet I keep on killing, I hunger for the last heart beat

 

That beautiful sound, that reason gets drowned in

The peace of the death of the victims I hold

The light in their eyes go out, this time is precious like gold

I am in heaven when they’re dead

For just a few moments

How I wish I could join them there forever

For I’m weary of heavens fragments

 

The vampires of old, they worry about me

They know I’ve lost my mind

But for now I cannot flee

Like an alcoholic I drink blood like wine

Drunk on the death of mortals

Endlessly seeking a portal

To end my existence

If you offered a way to end this

I’d take it in an instant

 

 

 

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Demons are demons

I cannot bare the sorrow anymore my love

You don’t know how you pain me so

You hurt me every time you go

For I’ve no idea of what you’re doing or where you go

I dream that you will change but deep inside I’ll always know

That you can’t or you won’t

But that’s my fault, for I love a demon

And so can I really blame you so?

If evil is in your nature, should I be the one to out your glow?

No

For I wouldn’t love you if I did, you are perfect as you are

But you scare me every time you’re away and every evil doing leaves a scar

My heart will forever break, but I hope it won’t shatter into powder someday

A little crack here and there will always make me thank that day

For things could be more worse than they already are

My heart is healing with its one thousandth scar

Demons are demons and that’s the way that they are

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Rigorous planning

I have been going through some rigorous planning of a rather complicated storyline for the last couple of weeks and it has almost consumed me; I’ve drawn up maps and personality profiles of the places and people involved and I’ve never been so thorough and I’ve never enjoyed myself so much either.

If I ever finish this story it would probably have to be published in a multitude of volumes for its sheer size, this is all thanks to the inspiring fourteen books I’ve been reading of the Land of Oz written by L Frank Baum, The Harry Potter series by J.K Rowling and the Chronicles of Narnia by C.S Lewis; not to forget also the Dragonlance series of books and the immortal highlander, all of these things are meshing within my mind and are giving me great ideas.

I can’t tell you what the story is going to be about other than it’s going to be a fantasy novel for sure with some horror thrown in for good measure, I wouldn’t suggest at all that it will be as family friendly as the books I’ve mentioned above but I can guarantee that if this gigantic story ever gets finished and published that it would be a thrilling read for generations to come; full of action, adventure, fairy-tale, romance, heartbreak, betrayal, revenge, vampires, slavery, struggles, imprisonment and steamy sex.

Why can’t I share a snippet of the storyline with you?  Well, I’ve noticed I am one of these annoying writers that when she shares her plot the plot loses its magic and I find myself unable to finish it; stories which remain a secret have ended up becoming finished so I am not taking any chances anymore and now I understand why legendary writers tend to guard their stories as top secrets until they’ve finished so fiercely… I think I might end up doing the same.  Do you know that I have started twenty seven stories in the last seven years and I’ve only finished two of them and they were short stories?  All of them were plots that were shared with others and at least eight of those plots were used to spark off other people (who also write) to write something similar to me, I don’t know, call me a snob if you like but that just loses the magic for me and I don’t do well competing with my writing, I don’t like it becoming a contest, and I think that’s why I didn’t partake in NaNoWriMo like I wanted.

I have found which market I want to write for and although I may not become as well known in that market as others who are more diverse I am happy in finding my feet amongst fantasy and horror for adults and fantasy and horror erotica.

I just promise myself I won’t be tempted to get my books published via e-readers because I want my standards to be professional, not dissing e-reader writers at all but the editing is usually sloppy I’ve found (since I’ve bought my kindle and read a few) and I find that unacceptable.

So, forgive me if my poetry has gone on the back bench a bit and please understand I am involved in something a little more exciting, though I will endeavor to try and post at least two poems a week as I don’t want my blog to falter.

I’ll post soon xx

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mother of the night

Delicately my footsteps follow a path through the forest of night

I am overshadowed by things of delight

The mossy branches overhang above my head

I am dancing a weave through the crowded trees

I disturb a spider in its web

Tiptoeing graciously into a clearing

I find the moon shining bright

I take the hood off from my head

And bathe in its light

My time is midnight

And it is night here

I hold all nightly things close to my chest

For to me, they are dear

I am the mother of the night

My children are the stars

I know only peace at night

Away from the morning scars

I whisper wishes onto all

Of dreams that may come true

I am the whispers of the night you know

My voice it heals and soothes

I’ll lull you into sleep each night

Away from daily woes

You always follow in my footsteps

But you will never know

I am the mother of the night

The children are my stars

For you all shine brightly in my dark

And I keep you in my jars

I hang you up in the darkened sky

To shine your radiant lights

So you can light the path for me, the mother of the night

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winter dream

Shielded by the December moon, I am protected from the violent frosts

Away from dangers that bloom, in the wintery night I shan’t be lost

For I am the dreams that winter makes

I am here until the frost breaks

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tune of the ascended masters

The shadows surround my soul

Enveloping me, I behold

Their love, their song, their warmth

With them I am free from taunts

With them I in the universe am launched

Higher than the moon, beyond the golden stars

Where I hear the universal tune of the ascended masters

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my tin of brains

My mind is like an ocean where many thoughts do swim

Without them I am empty, like an opened tin

My thoughts are what makes me unique and who I am

But many people try to empty my can

I am just a human; my thoughts are my pride and joy

But people insist in changing me and this it does annoy

Why can’t people leave alone others with their thoughts?

Why can’t others see the light, it’s easy to find the torch

How can you be judgemental, when you’re unique too?

How can you keep judging others who are not you?

If you want peace, accept more, for who and what they are

For if you don’t you’ll surely soon, lead a lonely path

Many minds aren’t empty, though tight their lips may be

Because they’re scared of being known by people like thee

By people who will curse them or try to cut them down

By people who are monsters, who say they’re only clowning around

But words do cut us deeply and hurt us every day

So stop with your judgements and leave people alone today

For if you want peace on earth, enjoy the variety

Of other peoples looks and thoughts and relish in niceties

All it takes is a kind word, whether you’re telling the truth or not

If you think unkind things about others, then you should simply rot

You’re missing out on good friends by being the way you are

You’re a shallow hollow person who lives for repertoires

 

 

 

 

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mocking caws

These are colors of the winter that I am seeing now

Painted with greys and whites the pictures to my tale

A tale of winter harsh and cold, of a time that’s best forgot

Of a time when I discovered, a body that morbidly rots

Along the banks of the canal, a ladies leg I saw

And I was ushered away fiercely, from the ravenous crow like caws

And I remember running, a running from that sound

I had no clue where I was going; I did not know where I was bound

I chose that moment not to tell, or speak of what I saw

And mockingly it followed, the crow with the callous caws

Why I did that I can’t tell, for fear is a funny thing

But to this day I still hear it, the mocking crow still sings

Caw, Caw, it goes all night, Caw, Caw, it goes all day

It will never leave me now, it will always stay

A punishment for cowardice, a punishment for my fear

No matter how hard I run from it, those caws I’ll always hear

I am being sent insane, a chastisement for my dread

And I will never forget this, not until I’m dead

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