Monthly Archives: June 2013

How I feel about Thunderstorms

Thunderstorms, although sometimes tragic are also very beautiful in my opinion; they are dark and they make wonderful patterns and colors in the sky as they’re forming.  The smell of the thunderstorm is wonderful, like the sea, you can taste the saltiness in the air and how quiet and still everything becomes in anticipation of its coming.  Such respect founded by all life in nature, like the suspense of a royal visit.

I love watching the show from my window, the lightning, the rain, sometimes the wind and how quickly the clouds rush in the sky; very much like a royal pass by, where it’s full speed ahead for the King or Queen of nature, make way, make way, with such deafening trumpeting processions following with it.

Then, everything goes back to normal quite quickly once the show is over; his excellency has passed, everything back to normal, nothing more to see here and as a gift for being so good, all the colors of our plants and vegetation becomes brighter and happier looking, like excited gossips within crowds.

If has been a particularly hot day before the storm came, you’d be thankful for the break in humidity after the visit too, I love to run around in thunderstorms, it gives me some kind of energy, probably from the electrical charges in the lightning – some people, particularly spirits and witches are very electric by nature, so will feel at one with the storm and regenerated after it.

This was also posted on my other blog site traineegoddess.com

 

 

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Gypsies forecast

A ball of crystal sits upon a dais, smoke fills the room

A haggard gypsy woman sits over it prophesying doom

I sit and look concerned, this prophecy has overturned any joy I had within

She clutches my hand, tells me fortune will be lost

She denies my gift of silver and a blessing she embossed upon my very soul

I find the event, very droll

Confounded I leave her tent, with my fate in mind

Telling me of future dooms, surely was unkind?

Though she denied my silver and did a blessing on me

These thoughts shall never leave me, nor allow me to live free

I walk on home, wondering, how long I’ll have that place?

I wonder if a gypsy fortune has been done to displace, my happiness, my heart, my joys

I sometimes wonder if this gypsy loves to toy with people of high class

Knowing my fate of misery is within God’s hourglass

I have respect for gypsies; now don’t get upset for that

I was just taken unawares, by this future fact

I stumble on, in my life, wondering what will go wrong

Hence why I am stumbling for my words, with this little song

But hopefully nothing will happen of that sordid forecast

Maybe by some luck god will smash that sand glass?

However, I wait all tensed, to see if it will come

The story of my ruin, the future that’s so glum

Will it be soon, or quite far?

She never did let on

But anyways, this has given me, a good idea for a song

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Poems G - I

Reading deadline met June 2013

My reading list has gone down a lot; although I will be adding time on three books I’ve borrowed from the library because I haven’t finished them yet.

I finished “Testament of a witch” by Douglas Watt, it was a very good read but I found it a little too predictable.  The plot to me seemed to have been given away very early on in the book.  I enjoyed the prose like scenes and the descriptions very much, I was also impressed by the writer’s ability to understand and know what went on during those times.

The Rudolph Steiner school book I was reading helped me to determine that perhaps Steiner isn’t the best sort of school for my children as well as I used to think, but I am thinking about further research on the schools; I hoped they’d be good for my children because of their encouragement for spiritual and individual development matches what we believe a childhood should be like, so I was disappointed when I found perhaps it wasn’t suitable after all.

I liked “The Dork Diaries” but I am a little unsure where to go now, whether I should read the whole series or whether or I am best to leave them on the shelves of the library; because again, the plot in the first book seemed too predictable and also found it a little too cruel for a teen book.

“Cult Fiction” never actually told me what cult fiction was in so many words, but it did give me insight to popular writers I’ve never heard of before and gave a name to many art forms I was familiar with but never knew the names of.  This book was definitely mind broadening and I recommend it to people who aren’t too adept at art and literary terminologies.

“Pam Ayres, the works” was also a good read, very comical but I wouldn’t have expected anything less; I found her work to be very good, but not good enough to go out and add to my personal collection unfortunately.

“My dad is ten years old” by Mark O’Sullivan, was frustrating and I threw the book across the room, how many times does a writer need to empathize in the first three pages of a book that a person was running?

Along with all these books I added some more to the pile in the past three weeks and didn’t announce them on here, those books were; “Bible proven and 666 solved” by Erik Lee Giles, “101 corporate haiku” by William Warriner and “Miss Abernathy’s concise slave training manual” by Christina Abernathy.

The first book “Bible proven and 666 solved” by Erik Lee Giles was very good, very informative and shockingly accurate to my own beliefs.  I would love to engage in further studies of this subject, everything about the biblical revelations and doomsday attracts me.  I have many planned novels for various dystopian tales, apocalyptic landscapes and lifestyles caused by an array of disasters both religiously oriented and naturally oriented.  I rated this particularly book a five star on goodreads.com

The second book “101 corporate haiku” gave me insight to what I can personally do with my own haiku’s, it didn’t teach me how to create haiku’s it merely showed me by the writers own art form of his own work.  I read this book in less than ten minutes because it’s so small and quick to read.

Thirdly, I read “Miss Abernathy’s concise slave training manual” this book is about consensual slavery for those interested in a long-term, live in BDSM situations.  I find this book interesting for two reasons; one I am personally involved in this kind of lifestyle and secondly I also write erotic fiction based in and around BDSM.

The last book was very interesting; it opened my mind to a gentler approach and helped to advise me on how to socialise in the scene outside of the internet, albeit in America.

I’ve been to the library today and collected two pre-ordered books called “The Lady’s Maid” by Rosina Harrison and “Cuckoo” by Julia Crouch.

I have also added the first three books of DragonLance to my reading pile “DragonLance chronicles 1-3 written by a team of fantasy writers, notably Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman; it’s a large anthology of the collection of which I’ve actually bought from Amazon and I am collecting them alongside the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett.

Needless to say, the last few mentioned books are the type of books I am planning on getting noticed for, alongside dystopian stories and erotica; despite this blog portraying me mostly as a poet. 

I am also reading “The Gothic” by David Punter and I am still reading “The revolting peasant” by Robin Page and a few other books I’ve mentioned since three weeks ago.

But I’ve read eight out of the eleven library books I’ve mentioned last month and my deadline was to read half of the eleven books by the 30th June which isn’t at all bad is it?

 

 

 

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Keep them all asunder

It is awkward being in a world full of humanity

Knowing that you are not like them and they think you’re suffering from insanity

You have different concepts, you have different ways

You sit back see them all, staring at your displacement in wonder

But you keep them all asunder

It is best that way

It is a shame that you cannot remove yourself from their little world

As humanity takes up so much space

You want to cast aside the fact you are civilized

And live in an untouched place

I feel your pain, I sorely do

If you find such a place, I shall come with you

 

 

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Filed under Poems J - L

Trust your self

Stepping through the blackness of Hell

I feel a lust inside

Searching for I don’t know what

But it calls to me

I feel entranced by the sounds of chaos

I am tripping on the lust

I can feel something slithering

Touching, caressing my bust

People see us as soulless

People see us as cold

People feel afraid for us

Hoping our paths change as we grow old

I feel sorry for those

Who shut their feelings away…

I feel sorry for those, who lustful pleasures they crave

I feel sorry for they have denied themselves of the lust

Set your selves free from shame, you must, you simply must

Trust

That the only power over you, is what you set your self

You are not some property

That belongs to someone else

You are your own power

You are your own grace

Your future is determined by how you see things and it goes at your own pace

Why deny yourself of pleasure?

Why worry about the void?

You are what you believe in

Trust in yourself

That you will not be destroyed

You are who you are my friend

Believe not in sin

Live the life you want to

And yourself trust in

Now

Go, set yourself free

Take off the bondage that you wear

Go off into the universe, and do as you would care

Do not answer to anyone

You have made yourself

Through everything you’ve experienced you’ve wrote it all, done it all, see the proof on your Akashic book shelf

You are not some property owned; you are your very own creation

How I wish I could help you see this realization

Set yourself free

Dear

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Poems S - U

addictive photography

Shooting pictures all around the garden, a pigeon, a dandelion, a snail

Photography is getting addictive on a phenomenal scale

Clicking here, clicking there, clicking everything I see

Beautiful nature frozen in time, just by me

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Filed under Poems A - C

Writing style and narratives

Many new writers write in a first person narrative; this is very limiting and produces problems if they want to include other characters opinions and viewpoints.  The main character of a story isn’t psychic, so wouldn’t know the real reasons behind their nemesis or co-inhabitants reactions to various events.

When I first started writing my vampire dark fantasy series, I was also to blame for writing in a first person narrative; this made it very complicated for me to introduce new characters with their personalities effectively.  My aim was to write the series as a series of biographies of individual characters from the same story, but this wouldn’t work well as it had already more or less been done by Anne Rice and I wanted to be different.  I found it much easier moving onto the third person narrative, which is what’s happening in my rewrites.

Writing in a third person narrative gives me more flexibility for my story’s direction.  I can skip viewpoints and characters at will, I can write about how everyone feels simultaneously and without too much effort.  Since writing in this style I have been able to write more words to my story daily, much more than before, alongside another technique I will tell you about shortly.

As a writer you must see yourself as a god, you are creating a world and these are your people; you’ve made them, you control them, you control events; you should be as dedicated to your creations as you are to your own god, you should be motivated by the sheer fact that your characters are waiting in limbo for how you are going to progress their lives.  But gods have two sides to them, good and bad, cruel and kind and so you should not feel too emotional about wrecking their lives, otherwise you’ll have a happy, clappy, crappy story.

Thinking about how I structure my novels, I am not the usual can of beans; I’ll share with you why;  It seems to me that most writers write a book from beginning to end, I’ve noticed I can’t dedicated myself to surprises. 

I write down my ideas in my ideas book, then I put up bullet point of events on my computer that I’d like to see happen in my story; then as scenes come to mind I write them, whilst trying to write from beginning to end, then I sew it altogether and sometimes I revise but mostly I don’t – in fact, everything that’s posted on this blog is never revised, I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I don’t have faith that what I write up here is my best work?

I do have massive flaws grammatically, punctuation wise and possibly prattle on too much needlessly, this is mainly down to the fact that I’ve had limited formal education.  My mother home educated me mostly and had a problem with me studying in college and university so I was put under pressure to become a drop out on seven occasions.

I must remind you too, that my main tutor at home was my mother who is dyslexic; yet I still managed to do a distance learning course when I was nineteen and got my only qualification in the world of a B grade GCSE for English Literature.

So, if I am not fine-tuned or polished, those are my excuses and I learn through tenderness.  This is why I beg for criticism and comments; I need help fine tuning my art of writing.

 

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Filed under About my work

chocolate and loyalty

With my chocolate I sit back and relax as it melts in my mouth

The cocoa is bitter; my fleece blanket wraps me warm

As I look out of my window at the raging storm

I smile as I am safe and snug, cuddle my knees with my arms

Smiling at my own thoughts of that gentleman’s charms

He was so nice and tender with me today

He gave me this chocolate for free

I refuse his offer to date me though

He crossed a boundary

For he knew that I was with another, though he’s out at sea

I may never see him again, that’s true, but he belongs to me

I am a loyal sort of girl, I say

And he just smiled at me

And now looking onwards at that storm

I hope my love is safe and keen to come his way back to me

Oh wild ravaging sea, protect him for little old me

I will thank you if you do

For my lad’s faithful to you

 

 

 

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Filed under Poems A - C

Biscuit break

I love the crumbliness of my biscuit

Its sweet textured taste, covered with jam

I savor the moment I am with my biscuit

I sit back and relax if I can

Put my feet up and think of nothing but the biscuit

Nothing but its taste and I hope my children don’t find me

The thought makes me feel disgraced

They are outside playing; I hope they don’t come in

Well not until I’ve had my biscuit

Or they’ll want one too and my head will start drumming

Oh leave me be with my biscuit

Oh leave me alone for a while

I like to eat this little bit of luxury in style

Now my biscuit is gone and done, I realized I wasn’t relaxing

My thoughts turned onto the children, my thoughts were over reacting

Oh well, maybe next time, like when they are at school

I can spare five minutes, to not react at all

Sitting back down with my biscuit when they are doing math

That’s what I’ll do tomorrow, whilst I have my bath

 

 

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Kundalini snake

16852141-tantric-love

My kundalini snake is awake

She slithers up my spine

Burning backache

Tingles of pleasure is released into me

Bursting at my base

Filling me with glee

Come to me now and I show you such pleasures

Come to me now and together we’ll share leisure’s

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Filed under Poems J - L