How carefully I held that diamante choker
Looking fondly at his little gesture
A marriage proposal usually demands a ring
But this trinket made my heart sing
For a prized possession demands nothing
This poem is written for the BDSM community; for those who don’t understand it’s sentiments, it is about a woman who devotes her life to the pleasure and calling of others, in two words a “consensual slave” (a person who consents to becoming a slave because they enjoy living their lives purely for another person’s benefit). Some people find this kind of existence very rewarding, they can’t imagine living what they believe to be a selfish life, and a life of freedom is a selfish life because you are always thinking for yourself, some people can’t make simple decisions on their own life because they’ve been raised in such a dominating atmosphere as children, like me.
Before I met Paul I wanted to become such a person “a consensual slave” because I never thought I could make any decisions whatsoever for myself; Paul helped me realize that actually I am naturally leading, this doesn’t tally well with people who take on a slave lifestyle.
I was for a short term period a slave for a man. He didn’t use me sexually like most people believe would happen, nor did he beat me to a pulp which people disbelieve. I was his assistant, I helped clean his home and talk to him from time to time and he would give me little tasks for me to complete, this was to build me up to become a better person. A more relaxed and confident person, now you can have confidence and be a slave, don’t get that wrong.
The only BDSM type punishments I would get were; if I put myself down, called myself ugly or stupid, he would force me to become naked, sit in front of a mirror, stare at myself for a while, then write down lines on a piece of paper “I am beautiful” 100 times, if by the end of that punishment I didn’t believe those sentiments he made me sit in front of him and I would receive clothes pegs on various parts of my body, that I particularly hated and was made to love them.
Sounds a little extreme for some people, but it did amazing things for my self-image.
He was a guy I ran away to before I met Paul, as I mentioned before, I ran away frequently.
People say, but he sounds very abusive, believe me, he was an angel compared to my mum – at least he wanted me to be myself and have a good outlook on my image and wanted me to have self-esteem, she would shatter that esteem as much as she could when I was with her. So, if I had to choose between two evils in my life, I would rather him for an eternity than my own mother!
He spoiled me and refused to call me my given birth name – he insisted I was his princess and princess was to become my name.
He gave me a very cheap, but beautiful diamante choker as a token of my dedication to him and his dedication to me, unfortunately this relationship had to end as he got involved with a poly girl who was jealous and she scared the hell out of me, a bully she was and he wanted us to make peace, he even wanted to train me to stand up to her and knock her overblown confidence down as he felt it was something I needed but I didn’t want another life of warfare and the battle of the wits, so I swallowed my pride and went back to my mum. I always went back to her when things didn’t work out with others, she didn’t care if I was there or not, but whenever I was living in her house she made it hard for me to leave again. This isn’t because I kept running away though, she was like that before my first ever attempt at leaving. So you can’t go blaming me for it.
Some dominants or masters as they’re called, don’t like sexually using girls all the time, they don’t always go in for humiliation or pain play, they just enjoy guiding girls and women to self-improvement, most want a woman whose reversed hen-pecked like stereotypical housewives, stepford wives, disciplined only if they burn dinner etc., but it’s all loving, it’s just a little bit of rough hanky panky and you’ll be surprised how many people love that kind of life.
There has been a couple of masters in the past, who doesn’t want anyone to change themselves whatsoever, they just want you to be with them forever and as a consensual slave, you always stick by people who want you and keep you, you don’t go leaving them at your own whim unless they affect your well-being so much that you have no choice. It’s much different than the relationship between my mother and I too, yes she dominated me and I was a locked up abused girl for years, but it’s much more different when it’s a man who’s not related to you and a man who are on the kinder spectrum of this lifestyle. Yes you get idiots, who are the stereotypical bastard male chauvinistic pigs, but generally, they’re not like that and you get a stupid few of anything bad in every other lifestyle, not just BDSM.
I’m not promoting BDSM; I am merely giving you my two cents on the subject, because there are a lot of misconceptions out there that needs to be erased.