Daily Archives: October 30, 2013

unknown ache

There is something missing in my life

My soul it endlessly cries

For what is missing it doesn’t quite know

But my essence is slowly losing its glow, but why?

My heart aches for something unknown

My dreams aren’t fulfilled anymore

I need to know what my soul is yearning

But the knowledge to me has a closed door

I hope the key to its lock is turning

For my soul feels like it’s endlessly burning

Though it knows not what for

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Filed under Poems S - U

recent issues

Having second thoughts about taking up NaNoWriMo, I struggle with 250 words a day these days, let alone trying to squeeze in 50,000 in a month – reason?  Migraines, frequent for months now, also I’ve been told that I am showing mild signs of pneumonia which is a worry.  I’ve been ill for weeks now and I am getting progressively worse, been practically bed-bound though for two days, thankfully I have a new laptop so I can do things when I can semi-think.

My main concern is I am unsure how the job center will react to the fact I haven’t gone to the voluntary placement interview yet, particularly as it was supposed to be for the next day and they saw me happy and healthy, but I woke up really bad and it’s not left me for almost 3 weeks now.  I am worried; I wanted to do the voluntary work too as it focuses on a charity I never heard of before but on a subject close to my heart (mental illness and mental learning difficulties and brain injuries) – hope this won’t turn against me?

I am so used to London benefit offices that I worry about every visit.  Unfortunately my husband is unemployed since the National Wildlife Trust could no longer afford him and made him redundant, this is unfortunate because I’ve always had health problems which have made problems with me keeping a job down (auto-immune problems, operations, and rheumatoid arthritis, vertigo and anemia problems as well as panic attacks), needless to say as soon as he became unemployed we had no choice but to go on benefits and they wouldn’t allow him to go on it and support the family I have to go for the interviews too.  Unfortunately even voluntary placements get funny if you have too much time off (even if you’re known to be sick), so I don’t have much of a life as far as social commitments go.

On the positive note my husband is doing home-based voluntary work for seismologists, if at the end of a 9 month period they feel he knows what he is doing he could get employed by them – hopefully the job center will be considerate about this, meanwhile he is trying hard to find work in other places but being aged 57 he is struggling to find anyone who’ll take him seriously, despite his educational and employment history being, Naval engineer, art tutor, customer services, photographer, and having an ecological degree with engineering.

I think my health problems are one of the main contributors to why I am afraid of being published, I cannot commit to anything because of it and really will publishers sympathize with a sick/disabled writer, even if they seem extremely good at what they’re doing?  I doubt it, but I hope I am proven wrong in time.

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under My life

story within a poem

Snatched by the nanny, yes I remember that the family servant ran off with me like a rat

I will always remember the last day I was with them and the night I knew so well

The strange visits that used to happen, she thought she had me under a spell

But those memories never ceased but grew, will you stop sending me the darn flu?

I want to know why you did it?  And why you’re intent in breaking my spirit?

Did you know me in another life, is that why you’re held bent in causing me strife?

Just to let you know, I now hold the knife

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Filed under Poems S - U

balance dance

Someday the golden queen will dance alone, even when she’s gone back home

For scarlet is no friend but foe, she has left the palace you should know

What will happen when she dances free of her opposite camaraderie?

Will the balance tip off the edge?  Will she find another to dance the pledge?

We shan’t know until gold has merged, does it matter to be dis-joined?

Shall we ever dance that dance again or is its end strongly urged?

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Filed under Poems A - C