Monthly Archives: September 2018

Creativity & self-esteem

A unicorn skips across the meadow into a world you can only imagine

It bounds to places unknown to man

It does so, because it can

A ghost is just a whisper of a past lived in flesh

Its message is not always clear but it is always received with gooseflesh

A memory is like a ghost, it shimmers in the mind

A glimpse of the past like a silhouette clings to you in a bind

Some are happy, some are sad, some are good and some are bad

Like the creatures in your head, a memory is good when it is fed

So dream your little dreams some more

Wallow in their scenes

Treasure each little pocket

Though it may never been seen

For you live a creative life, though wasteful it does seem

The pictures that are in your mind, helps your self-esteem

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems A - C

A word to hexers, haters and jealous people in general

A word to hexers, haters and jealous people in general

I am starting to take up art again, this time with an idea to try and make a living from it in a few months’ time, by then I would have developed friends in art and a little more self confidence in my painting work. 

I am still sick, that is something that will never change, in fact recently I have been told it could get much worse, but I am trying hard to pull through and make some kind of a life for myself despite all of the bad mojo trying to pull me down every once in a while, you would think it would have something better to do than to concentrate on picking on me, but never mind, they love me so much they just can’t stop thinking about me, which in a dark and psychotic way is kind of nice of them to think so much of me, I don’t think anyone else does to be honest, which makes them my greatest lover I suppose?

Yes, recently I have started to believe I am cursed, but then what do you expect from someone who is both spiritual and a lover of horror movies?  I’ve had such a long lasting run of bad luck with my health and personal life that I had to eventually come to the conclusion I have pissed off one too many witches during my life, for simply existing.  Lol

Anyway on a more serious note, it is true; I do believe the above statement. 

Despite this, I have to admire them for wanting to be involved in my life so much.  Hate can be as deep as love and just as obsessive.  In a strange kind of way, hate and love are the same thing, as you spend so much time thinking about the things you hate, like you do with special person you actually love, you give it the same attention, sometimes you even neglect the ones you actually love in favour of spending your time thinking more of the ones you hate.  It’s a strange kind of world when you think about it.

So when all is said and done, I am quite flattered of the attention I am getting, no matter how abysmal it makes my life.  I sort of feel sorry for the person who hates me to such a degree, because although I do not believe in karma, I do believe that you always reap what you sow and I believe in the sins of the father, despite not being a religious person personally.  So in a manner, it is not me they are cursing, but their own children; which is painfully sad for me, to think about.

Despite these setbacks, I will try, no matter how much I cry in pain each day with my ailments, as I do cry – so do please, enjoy that statement dear haters as I am sure you will, I will try and get along in my life and make the best I can of the cards you are dealing for me.  With a glad and happy heart, I will drag myself through the Hell you are creating for me and I will revel in any successes I may have in the future, whilst you are still sitting back on your posteriors, wishing that you had a taste of my supposed glorious life still.  Well by all means, you are welcomed to having a full three course meal of my life, if you so wish for it, you are welcomed to it and I really do hope that you choke on it.

Leave a comment

Filed under Brain Drain & Dribbles

I cry for my place in the world

I cry for my place in the world

But my place is not here

The place I yearn for doesn’t exist

It’s a place where I go to each night in dream time, a place where I love and miss

When I am awake it drives me insane

All I want to be is inside my brain

I want it to be my world

Is that insane?

Is it insane to love what is inside your brain?

Again

I will tell you

I cry for my place in the world

But it is not here

The place I long for doesn’t exist, anywhere but in here (points to my head)

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems G - I

Blog updates & I am not always so miserable you know?

My poems are so morbid, but when I am in my depressions I can’t seem to be able to write anything else other than all of this negative dribble and the more I am around other negative people, the more dribble I write.

No offence for those who are currently in my life, not all of you are negative, in fact some of you can be very uplifting and I don’t think you really realise your value to me.

I am trying very hard to keep this blog active again and to come a little away from poetry a bit and concentrate on the intended theme of the blog – fantasy.

I have also thought about posting more regular pictures of my art, sketches and nature photography.

I have recently joined as an inactive member to a new website I discovered called Curensea.com

The site is like DeviantArt crossed with Twitter, you post your creative endeavours, whatever they may be onto the site and give and receive opinions for it with the exchange of points or credits which can in turn become real money at the end of the money dependent upon how many tokens you receive that month.  The people’s messages are usually based on constructive criticism to help improve you in your chosen creative path – it is not meant to be destructive and should not be considered destructive at all if the criticisms are not to your favour.

Though I am currently inactive, that is my choice as at the moment life on the financial front are on tenterhooks for me, I need to get some advice about this as I don’t know if getting the tokens and being paid per month is considered self-employment or gift money as far as HM customs are concerned.

I also wanted to add another section to the blog based on something I have been trying to work really hard on in the last 2yrs – cosmic ordering and positive thinking.  Despite my woeful interludes with poetry online, I have quite a positive outlook on life in general, but like a true manic depressive I can go from really cheerful, happy-clappy summer camp rep to Wednesday Addams in a blink!

I am also learning a lot more about the Science Fiction genre too, so there might be some experiments with that someday soon too.  I know I have done some sci-fi art already with soft pastels.

Leave a comment

Filed under About my work

My vampires 1

My vampires are what makes me, me

They are a part of me, you see

There are not unkind or something to fear

To me they are something to cheer

They are me

My vampires are mine you see

I will love them from here to eternity

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems M - O

Catalyst to my pain

There is a catalyst to my pain

A thing that makes me closer to insane

A habit that you have within you

Is gnawing away at my soul

I don’t want it to continue

Though you say you don’t know what you do

I know that you do… its true

I can’t explain how it makes me feel

I just know, what you do makes me ill

You say or do the simplest things, which in turn

Makes my suffering sing

I don’t enjoy this world of pain

I don’t want you to repeat this again and again

But you don’t know what you do

So I can’t really blame you

Though I do

You are ignorant, that much is true

You are the catalyst of my pain

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems A - C

Suck it up for she writes again

Suck it up for she writes again

She writes it all so she can heal and mend

You can’t stop her, you must not

She needs to write and she can’t stop

You must let her drivel away at words

You should allow her to sound absurd

Because you don’t know what lies beneath

The truth of everything that hides in a sheath

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems S - U

They will help you to mend

Heartbroken you are in despair, smashed to pieces and you cannot bear this

You are not alone

There is a phone

Call upon your dearest friend; they will help you to mend

All these broken dreams and shattered promises are, not a part of you. 

You are free from those darned dreams and free from the pain of the one who has broken you

Leave now, go to better things, and go to different friends

The ones who care and love you, they will help you to mend.

Don’t look back on false promises and broken dreams and hopes

Look forwards to the ones who love you and who don’t taint your eyes with kaleidoscopes

Don’t be fooled by the ones who hurt you, turn your back on them for good

Go to the ones who make you happy, they are the ones who always understood

Keep away from the harmers, the dissers and the fakes

Keep on walking towards your future, where love always awaits

You’ll soon be free of this torment; you’ll soon be free of pain

Once you leave the dark times, you won’t return again.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems S - U

I am the redeemer

Out from the corner of my eye, I see the world’s pain.

Just because I do not react, does not mean that I am not sane

I remain, neutral, in my neutral stance

I cannot bear to see you suffer, but I cannot stop your circumstance

Though you may fall and become weak and you may do crazy things

I am here to redeem your soul and hear you once again sing

Though you are desperate and cannot walk

I am here for you

I am waiting for your cue

I am here to redeem you

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems G - I

I really, really need you

I know you are somewhere in this world

I need you, to come and find me

Come and take me home

I really, really need you

This world is destroying everything about me

Every tiny fibre that is me

I really, really need you

Please come soon baby

I want you, to be with me soon

Quite soon

Oh, oh, I am going mad without you

Oh, oh, I am going mad without you

I need you to take me home.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems G - I