Tag Archives: angel

Peaches and Cream poem

Peaches and cream
What a dream
On a hot and summery day
The taste of heaven in a bowl
Be careful the angels don’t take it away!

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My fantasy knowledge

My to read list is huge on Goodreads.com, and I have one book left from the library that I must read before the 4th of July, it hasn’t been read thoroughly yet because I tend to borrow the maximum each time I visit the library, note bibliophile present. The last book I have from the library that’s half read at present is “H.P Lovecraft’s book of horror” an anthology of 21 classic short horror stories which includes with my personal rating;

Supernatural horror in literature essay/introduction by H.P Lovecraft 9/10
The signalman by Charles Dickens 8/10
The house and the brain by Edward Bulwer-Lytton 8/10
The body snatcher by Robert Louis-Stevenson 2/10 (low rating yes, shock horror)
The spider by Hanns Heinz Ewers 10/10
The foot of the mummy by Theophile Gautier 9/10
The horla by Guy De Maupassant 8/10

The rest have yet to be read and they will include;

The fall of the house of Usher by Edgar Allan Poe
The dammed thing by Ambrose Bierce
The upper berth by F. Marion Crawford
The yellow sign by Robert W. Chambers
The shadows on the wall by Mary E. Wilkins-Freeman
The dead valley by Ralph Adams Cram
Fish head by Irvin S. Cobb
Lukundoo by Edward Lucas White
The double shadow by Clark Ashton Smith
The mark of the beast by Rudyard Kipling
Negotium Perambulans by E.F Benson
Mrs. Lunt by Hugh Walpole
The Hog by William Hope Hodgson
The great god Pan by Arthur Machen
Count Magnus by M.R James
Followed by the afterword by Lovecraft and the literature of cosmic fear:

Yesterday I finished Coraline by Neil Gaiman and other stories. Which were very compelling reads and I am what a readers quiz calls a polygamous reader, therefore I started reading H.P Lovecraft’s anthology before Coraline’s anthology, but I was so much more taken with Neil Gaiman than I was with H.P Lovecraft’s compilation, that I literally abandoned H.P Lovecraft until there was no more Neil Gaiman to read.

If I am having a good day with my health on the days I visit my work advisor I usually treat myself to a book or three at the local charity shops on the way home, it’s a habit I can’t get out of; unfortunately yesterday there were quite a few I liked, in fact, I would have by choice bought home five books, but I only had enough money for two. The ones I found and bought home were books three and four of the Eragon series (the inheritance cycle) by Christopher Paolini. I have never watched the movie Eragon and nor have I ever read the books. I had the first two books at home, never read and abandoned on the shelves until I could get the complete set and now I have them I am thrilled. Unfortunately, knowing me, it will probably be 3+ months before I start reading them, because I am currently reading 26 books according to my goodreads.com currently reading list.

That doesn’t need to get any longer does it? I am I have to start on the fifth to fourteenth book of the Wizard of Oz series before I can think of moving onto another series, also I have the last book of the Fifty Shades of Grey to read as well.
Oh the life of a bibliophile is far too short!

It’s stupid to think that I get through an average of 1 to 4 books a week and that my “to read” list is currently 4647 and that expands by no less than 20 books per week. It’s ridiculous, even if I was immortal and glued my arse to a chair and read 24/7 I would never ever catch up in reading unless there was a total ban for thousands of years of new material being published!

I hope in the future there will be a little chip inside people’s brains where you can download information immediately by the press of a button; I would opt to be a literary and historical know-all and I would also want to be proficient in all creative mediums and telepathy.

I get huge bouts of depression because I can’t do more than one thing at once. I want to read, but I have to go through a painstaking process of choosing which book gets my attention at that precise moment; but then I want to paint or write and I am sitting back thinking, well one things has to be put on hold, which will it be? What shall I do? I have so many things to write about and so many ideas, that I can never knuckle down and write them, because as I am writing I am being flooded with too much future work, that I surrender and do nothing.

I don’t suffer from writers block, I suffer from writers flood and because of that, I don’t write a majority of the time. Because it sends me mad, I write gibberish and I lack focus, because I think as I concentrate on other things, many things at once.
You can probably see this problem in my updates here.

I am a huge fantasy fan, but I don’t know much of the most commonly known fantasy books and movies because I refrain from watching or reading them if they’re popular, because they normally end up being frustrating commercialised entities that are constantly pushing out new material every few months. When I sit down to read a book and it’s a series, I like to think I have the whole series ready on my shelves before I start. If there are more books in that series coming out months later, it infuriates me, because I don’t always remember what happened in the books in great details and I do not like re-reading books if I can absolutely help it; (too many books and so little time).

The books I have not read and the movies I have not watched so far, that are popular in fantasy and family genres.

Eragon series books and movies
How to train your dragon books and movies?
The books after Harry Potter’s Goblet of Fire haven’t been read yet
The movies past Harry Potter’s order of the phoenix
Once upon a time TV series
Supernatural TV series
The lion the witch and the wardrobe book
Narnia books
Final fantasy games
World of Warcraft games
Game of thrones TV series and books
Blood ties TV series
Twilight movie and books
True blood TV series and books
Nanny McPhee and the big bang
The Terminator movies
Maleficent movie

So as you can see, I have not watch nor read the biggies; but I do know a lot of fantasy that gets people scratching their heads at me and wondering what the hell I am talking about.

Those include;

The Gor series of books
Diary of a wimpy vampire books
The Sandman comics by Neil Gaiman (though they are becoming popular)
The weirdstone of Brisingamen by Alan Garner
The play your own adventure books and fighting fantasies of Ian Livingstone and Steve Jackson
Nightmare TV series
Raven TV series
Highlander TV series
The fact there are 14 stories of OZ from the Wizard of OZ and that nobody knows the world completely, that is a complete bafflement for many
The Deptford mice books
Troll movie 1986
Critters movies
Tremors movies
The Disney movie – the gnome mobile
Shirley Temple’s movie – the blue bird
Angels in America movie
Dogma the movie

So, go feast yourself on these so-called unheard of books and movies.

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paradise streams

I take the night by the hand and away in dreams I go

Following the footsteps of a forgotten road

Feeding my mind with wonders of the night

Dreaming of a land where my hopes come to light

I can’t see an ending to my story

My life of eternity is full of glory

I cannot be alone when I’ve come to paradise

And I can see that my heart’s wishes come to me in afterlife

I cannot be afraid when I have so many hands guiding me to the light

And when I’ve had enough of life I can say goodnight

Because you’re not alone, in a land where angels fly

You’re not alone, in a place you’ll never die

You’re not alone when you’re by your loved ones

And you’re not alone when you’re with your maker

Come on be a taker of this life, dream life

Dream away your world of sorrows

Maybe you’ll be in paradise tomorrow, and then you can say

Have faith

And know, what you’re talking about, go ahead and shout it out now you’re free

Come away with me

I long for you, to smother me in your glee

And I will hold your hand and take you to that land of dreams

Sweet dreams

Paradise streams

Is the theme

 This song probably doesn’t make a lot of sense to people, but I hoped that some people viewed the song as a person whose falling into a dream world which they confused as heaven and is encouraging others around them to become more susceptible to imagination.  But I guess the lyrics could be read wrong by many.  I didn’t revise this song at all, so I am not expecting good reviews, it’s just a song I had to write down as it came as it kept repeating in my head driving me crazy, saying WRITE ME NOW!

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avian male or angel

an angel male or avian male

an angel male or avian male

You may not be able to see this clearly as I wasn’t able to get the right lighting for it, but here it is, my avian male or as some would consider it, an angel.

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I shall save them

I’ve seen innocence distorted by the pains of their past

Little children with angel faces, ruined, their expressions turned to glass

Their eyes like lost souls call out to me in their hell…

They say…

Hello, is anybody out there?  Please tell

Fading dreams of hope wrap around them till they choke

Contorted they maintain hardness to the world around them

I shall answer their prayers and their pain I shall end

I am the mother of mercy and I hear their little cries

I will come to save them; I will bring a sun to their skies

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Just two scars

Sometimes I thought about writing a whole theater production or musical, as I imagine music and lyrics so much, but until I learn how to play music without playing by ear I fear this is a dream doomed to never become reality. 

This song below is something I’ve planned on doing as a musical; it’s about vampires and every paragraph skips back and forth between two characters, a vampire lady and the son of a pastor.

Originally when writing this song I thought it was going to become the love of an angel and a demon, fighting each other but then falling madly and deeply in love with each other, but as all you other writers out there knows; your work dictates to you, you don’t dictate to it, and so as it flowed on it became vampiric, not a struggle between good and evil like first planned.

Hope you enjoy it – remember it’s to be sung, not read as poetry, but I don’t expect you to know the tune it’s supposed to be sang to.  In all honesty, it was supposed to be a poem too, but it never turned out that way, I got something at the back of my head as background music which resembled something Manowar would have.

 

There fire in my soul, there’s a fire in my heart tonight

Tonight, there’s a place where the darkness fights the light

Tonight, tonight, our love is a place that beckons for a fight

With you in my arms, I feel your charms

Happy with me, you’re restless without me

You’re an angel faced fool

I’ve watched how you’ve drooled

As I shimmy around the nightclub

Tooled by my quest to capture you

You’re easy prey

The devil said it and now I say it too

You’re easy prey

A purity installed heart, I’ll tear you apart

Hear what I say

I am bad for you, oh guess what I’m gonna do

I’ll lead you astray

To a place you’ve never dreamed

I will do it this way

Make your heart mine and on a feast of blood I’ll dine

And take your bouquet

And lay it across your coffin

Knowing you’ll be mine forever

Don’t scream

 

I lay in confusion, wondering what happened

I feel very different, where am I?

 

You are with me, my sweet little angel

I have given you a gift

You and I are children of the night, dear

We are vampires, in case it isn’t clear

 Please, have no fear

 

This can’t be true, I refuse to believe it

Let me out of this place, your lies are a disgrace

 

Listen to me, it is the truth

A mirror will prove it

Don’t be so uncouth

 

I don’t believe it

It’s true

I see no reflection

 

It’s true, now that you’ve seen it

You know that forever you’ll have youth

 

These are the trials and tribulations of creating new, excitations

How do you view my revelations?

Do you want this too?

Do you want to be renewed?

Vampires of the night we are

Fashioned by hunger

Our sun is millions of stars

 

Take my hand and become like us

All it takes is two scars

 

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Karmic Angel

A man who was too free with his words once spoke unkindly to another, when the victim replied against him, the man asked “What have I ever done to you, for you to say that to me, you don’t know me”!

The stranger replied, “it’s not a matter of what you’ve done to me, it’s what you have done to others in the past, karma has a peculiar way don’t you think”?  The stranger smiled and wings appeared on his back as he walked away, the man too astonished to say anything else, thought about his words and realized that he speaks unkindly to others, and he doesn’t like it when the shoe is on the other foot and his angel taking pity on his bitter life, saved him that day.

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sailing into the moonbeams

moonbeams 1This is a song I wrote this morning, again I can hear the music and I know how it should be sung, but when reading it on paper it doesn’t seem like it makes much sense, but as a song in my head it’s beautiful and I wish I could write music so I could have done the music to go with it and sing it – it has a very Kate Bush mixed Sarah Brightman sound to the vocals.  I can sing, when my throat isn’t suffering it’s regular viruses, hence why I don’t aspire to be a singer/songwriter, just a songwriter/composer.  Hope you enjoy it?

Look at me

I am sailing into the moonbeams ahead of a dream

I am happy, with silver showers

Guiding me to be free

The night is a friend

I know her well

She is there for me always and is true to me

I trust her

She means the world to me

She helps me set my heart released

From, from the memory of you

I wrap myself up in a milky way – blanket made of silk

I feel the coolness of the air tonight

She has given me the sight – to know

That your weren’t the one for me

So now, I live my life free

Oh woe is not in my heart anymore

I am free now

I can live happily on in my dreams

Ahh, I can see that the night is an angel

She washes me as I sleep

Taking the badness of my day away

In my bed making me sail away

Into the moonshine, into the glaze of the universes wonderful maze

Oh it is true

Look at me

I am sailing into the moonbeams ahead of a dream

I am happy, with silver showers

Guiding me to be free

The night is a friend

I know her well

She is there for me always and is true to me

I trust her

She means the world to me

She helps me set my heart released

From, from the memory of you

 

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Smoke & Mirrors by Neil Gaiman

I read this book in January 2013; I still remember some of the stories as clear as day.  I felt it would be good to put up previously read works on this site, because I don’t read enough fiction regularly to sustain this part of the blog, I mostly read non-fiction works based on social history, religion, the occult, psychology, true stories and biographies.

For those of you who have never read Neil Gaiman or know about the book “Smoke and Mirrors” it is an anthology of fantasy, horror and dark fantasy short stories and in my opinion, prose. 

Anyway, first up is “the wedding present” I don’t remember much about this story at all, other than I remember disliking it, but I can’t remember why.  I do plan to re-read this book at the end of this year for revising what I think is good and bad about it all, as I am trying to teach myself how to read critically, so re-reading this story will help me remember why I didn’t like it.

The next story I liked, it was humorous, “chivalry” A little old lady goes into a charity shop and buys a chalice and she is soon pestered by a time traveling knight who declares the chalice is rather special and tries to get it off her for several weeks, she eventually relents with a surprising ending.

“Nicholas Was” is next, a very short story, or was it really prose?  I don’t know what it was, but I do remember it, and it was confusing, although I did like the imagery it portrayed.

“The Price” oh my goodness was that a scary tale, I felt like crying for the cat.  I think the cat was based on some kind of protective angel, but that’s well hidden in the story if that’s what the cat was.  A brilliant tale, loved it, and I loved the audio of it too which is free and can be found at this website www.neilgaiman.co.uk/smokeandmirrors/audio

Another of my favorite was “Troll Bridge” I think almost every fantasy writer has written their own variation of this story at some point; I know Terry Pratchett has, although I’ve never read that one yet.  Neil Gaiman’s Troll Bridge was in my opinion, unique; I found it really thoughtful and inspiring.  I sometimes hoped that I could crawl under such bridge and make a deal like that, but would I really want to?  Who knows…?

“Don’t ask Jack” bought back nightmares of my childhood, that’s all I am going to say about this story.  I don’t like remembering it, to be honest.  In fact, I wasn’t comfortable with the story so much, I had to put the book down for two months before I could read the story that came after it, and that was because I forgot the previous tale. 

“The goldfish pool and other stories” Brilliant, I was so happy I picked this book up again after abandoning it, this was a great story, touching, haunting, fantastic.  I was really upset it was a short story; I could have read hundreds of pages of this work easily. 

“Eaten” I don’t remember this story either and I can’t remember if I liked it or not – sorry.

Again, one I loved “The white road” the imagery in my head was so lucid, I adored that.  I tend to think of actors or people I know when I read books and I was seeing actors and actresses from “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” and “The Aristocrats” TV mini-series in 1999 one actor in particular was actually playing a Mr Fox, Alun Armstrong, he was playing Mr Fox in my mind when reading this story and the girl was a blond haired Winona Ryder for some reason.  The other actors and actresses from those movies and series that I was seeing in my head were there purely as spectators of the revelation that was being said between Mr Fox and the girl.

I was a wonderful story; I loved it, such passion and a delight to read, but am I being too bold? Ha-ha.

“Queen of knives” and “The case of the departure of Miss Finch” other delightful reads.  I loved them, they reminded me of one of my favorite Hammer horrors, “The Vampire Circus”, and they also had a similar air to “The Night Circus” by Erin Morgenstern.  I too, almost wrote a book similar to all four of these examples when I was fifteen years old.  A story based around a circus of the night, traveling vampire gypsies picking off locals at their stops, turning some, training some, it was a good idea I thought, but at the time I was going through a turmoil.  My brother had friends in publishing, they were at his house having a dinner party and I was also invited, they asked to view my work so arranged another dinner with my brother and I gave them some of my work, unfortunately I never got them back and they plagiarized my work, unfortunately still, I had no proof they did this because when I lost my completed work I lost heart in re-writing it all and burned the notes I had gathered over the two years it took me to complete it. So basically they got off Scot free and I’ve nothing to prove in court, so my loss I suppose.  My brother also worked behind the scenes of major film companies, so needless to say they did make a movie out of what I wrote, but made minor alterations, I won’t mention the movie here or the people, because I don’t like making a fuss, especially when I cannot offer proof.  The story was different to my gypsy vampire idea, but was vampire themed nonetheless, just this was the point of no return for me until I reached twenty one and had confidence in writing again, by this time I had forgot the idea, I only remembered the idea after reading those stories.

“Changes” I don’t remember this story either regrettably.

“The daughter of owls” now that was a beautiful fairy-tale in my opinion. 

“Shoggoth’s old peculiar” made me smile because it made me think he based the story on my family, who live on the edge of the Welsh and English border, they run a pub which resembles an eighteenth century tavern and I’m sorry to say they have toad-like faces and an old fashion air about them.  They are constantly cribbing about hiking tourists in their area, particularly Americans, which made this story feel it was made especially for me.  Obviously it wasn’t, Neil Gaiman doesn’t know me from Adam, but still, it felt special.

“Virus” I didn’t like either.

“Looking for the girl” I disliked too.  Reminded me a little bit of one of my exes, made me feel this story was based on his future life.

“Only the end of the world again” I liked, was it a sequel to one of the above stories I wondered?  Or more than one – I sense an air of “Shoggoth’s old peculiar” but also “the white road”.  I loved the combination if I am right, it worked amazingly well.

I think the “Bay wolf” is also like the above review, though I am confused, because I am trying to remember all the stories from only four months back and it’s difficult, particularly as I am writing this review on a day that my headaches are mild and wondering whether or not they should get worse and become the usual migraines.

“Fifteen painted cards from a vampire tarot” was also good, many stories in one.  Again, this was something I was thinking about writing as an inclusion to my traveling vampire gypsies when I was a teenager, another reason was because an old horror movie with Donald Sutherland inspired me a few years previous called “Dr Terror House of Horrors”. 

“We can get them for you wholesale” was both hilarious and bleak; I never laughed out as loud as I did when reading this story.  I truly recommend it for people who have a sick sense of humor like me!

“One Life, Furnished in Early Moorcock” and “Cold Colours” I don’t remember these stories either unfortunately.

“The sweeper of dreams” was also beautifully written and after reading it, knowing I’ve ignored my love for writing for almost two years solid, I began to wonder if the sweeper of dreams came and visited me and stole my muse away or not?  But obviously it hadn’t, because I’ve started to write again, though, this time, my muse focuses mostly on poetry, not stories, like before.

I despised “Foreign Parts” it’s really not my kind of story at all. 

“Vampire Sestina” was brilliant and again, too short.

“Mouse” I couldn’t remember much about mouse either.

“The sea change” was a good read too, for what I remember and that’s not quite much at all, ha-ha.

“How do you think it feels” I liked the story and I hoped for more, but no.  Sometimes I think Neil Gaiman lacks the confidence to make some of his short stories into novels, it’s like he doesn’t believe in them so he makes them short but sweet.

“When we went to see the end of the world” that was a confusing read.

“Desert Wind” was nice.

I don’t remember “tastings” either.

“In the end” now that was very thought provoking and again, made me pause on the book for a fortnight whilst I thought things through and read “Enoch” and a few other non-fiction stories, for absolutely no other reason than to try and confirm my own beliefs in some strange inane kind of way.

“Babycakes” the title attracted me because when I was in college a friend of mine thought it would be good to have a name for each other, a pet name, so she came up with the name “Babycakes” I was baby and she was cakes.  She called me baby because I lacked experience of the world and she felt very motherly towards me.  Regrettably, the story isn’t as sweet as the one I just said above about me and my friend; it’s haunting in a bad way, terrifying because that could become a truth and I felt bad that I had read it, like it’s shameful.

“Murder mysteries” was beautiful, I liked the story outline.

Now, here comes my favorite story of the entire book “Snow, glass, apples” Neil Gaiman’s take on Snow White and it’s wonderful.  Unique, tragic, he saw what I saw in the story, not a victim but a spoiled dangerous little brat, that’s what I’ve always seen snow white as, but oh, it’s wonderful how he mingled this story with vampirism and victimization of the queen.  A pure work of genius!

This book was 50/50 in my opinion, 50% bad and 50% good, but the good bits are excellent, they are unique and imaginative and I love them, they inspire me to write my own stuff.

Thank you Neil Gaiman!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Miniature angels

Fairies are like miniature angels, flying past us every day

Little wings glowing, sweet little fays

 

In the shadows they hide, under and behind rocks

Playing tricks on mortals, making us laughing stocks

 

Fairies are like angels, this much is true

I’ve a feeling you’ve met them, well maybe one or two

 

Sweet angel faces, happy little smiles

Why don’t you sit and meditate, and talk with them awhile?

 

Dreaming, playing, swimming, chasing, as little fairies do

Congregating on the top of a hanging horseshoe

 

Drinking, laughing, always dancing in the steepy glens

Come along and see them, and bring along your friends

 

Fairies are like angels as I have said before

A lot of fun you’ll have with them for they are not a bore

 

Fairies are like angels fluttering low and high

Sometimes when they hide they become midges in the summer sky

 

Angels are full of magic; they’ll take away your woes

For what better place to store them than down some rotten holes?

© Tina Cousins 2013

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