Tag Archives: composing

Sunday Word Count 6

Sunday word count time!

Unfortunately I hit “The Wall of Shame” again with this amount of words done towards a novel this week.

7896 words

Well at least it is better than last weeks!

Here is how it is broken down.

25th August – 1564 words – not bad considering the week before I hardly wrote a thing per day.

26th August – 867 words – quite low about two pages.

27th August – 2919 words – excellent, I should have more days like this!

28th August – 832 words – hmm, low again.

29th August – 879 words – I am not happy with the way the novel is going if I have to be honest – which I do!

30th August – 835 words – low again, getting bored with this particular novel, so I probably may be like this for some time until this draft is complete then start again for the 6th attempt!

31st August – nothing – well I was getting bored and sometimes it’s best to step away if this happens for a small while and then get back to it at a later date.  But I had other ideas I was working on, so this day and the other low days really should have been filled up doing the other novels, not just concentrating on just this one and thinking about my new musical instrument all day!

So the summary is this, quite low word count with quite low quality writing for much of the week!

My excuses are;

There are no excuses for such poor quality word counts and writing other than the fact that I was bored with the one particular story I was working towards!  So, I should have moved onto another story that I am writing which captivates me better – which I did not do!

Why?

A new musical instrument entered the house on the 28th August and I fell in love with it.  I have never seriously learned an instrument before and this is one where I intend to seriously learn it – I have done approximately fourteen hours of self-taught (via YouTube) lessons since, this averages to three hours per day; plus I am trying to learn music theory and notation, something which I have never done before, trying to learn the names of the notes I am playing and how to read music so that I can eventually write music!

I have always had this desire in my life and it was never as strong as it is now. 

I thought if I don’t learn to read and write music now, then I probably never will and so I decided that never is NEVER going to happen! 

I write a lot of poetry, but I also write a lot of songs, the songs I rarely post on my blog and my brain has always taunted me with music that should go with the songs – it is getting torturous lately, to say the least, so this is why I have to learn music professionally.

I have always been like this with music, so it is astounding why my brain has to literally send me loopy in order to get me started on taking music more seriously.  I suppose I always used my left hand disability as an excuse?  “I can’t because my left hand, what if they want me to demonstrate the music”?  Whine, whine, and whine!

I started to practise by ear only when I was very small on my grandmother’s piano around the same time I started to learn to read and write – so music has been with me for a very long time, if not longer than writing!

I am excited by learning musical notation because I have learned that each musical instrument has the same basis and therefore once I learn where the notes are for each instrument I have previously played I could in fact learn the same tunes on every instrument.  I don’t know musical jargon yet, but I am getting there!

The types of music that are in my head vary in genre from mostly classical, jazz and rock but especially classical!  I hear so often these days that “classical music has no future” and I really want to stick my middle finger up at people who say that!  I believe it does and if anything it is hearing this regularly which has spurred on my insanity to prove them bloody wrong!

In fact I am under exaggerating here, I am practically getting psychotic about showing people they are wrong about classical music becoming a dying force in the world.

I do have some music still available from my old floppy disks from 2000 that I composed by ear on Cubase with my keyboard, I don’t know if my computer or modern technology can upload it here on the blog successfully, but I think I will try!

I think I will upload my storm music.  Or try.

Unfortunately it doesn’t work here, sorry – I tried.  MP3 floppy 20yrs old, don’t know how to convert that, can anyone comment below if they know how – please?  

Also and I don’t mean to pick on the poor chap, but Henry doesn’t go back to school until the 3rd of September, so perhaps my writing will improve from then onwards?  If it doesn’t then I am a rotten mother who uses her kid as an excuse, which I think I am that anyway!  Talking of which Henry been trying to get me to become music teacher for him, despite it being the lame leading the lame at the moment, lol.  He hasn’t the patience to learn for more than 15 to 30 minutes a day like I do.  He is too addicted to Robot Wars, Ryan’s toy review and now WWE wrestling!

I wanted to say that the writing I am clocking up every week is purely towards novels I am working on, it is not research notes, synopsises, plans, blog posts, daily pages like 750words.com or anything else that I might be working on – so I don’t have lazy writer syndrome, if you are interested in seeing just how much I do write per day, let me know in the comments below and I will give you an entire summary of all my work in just one week and one week only! 

Anyway, those are my excuses for this week and I am sticking to them!

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Dailies

Art, Life, Goals and Disability

It is not just writing that has gripped me as a creative person; over the years I have tried to practise art, but never seriously and I also have an interest in wildlife photography – again, I have never taken this seriously. 

I am a self-taught artist who practises a few days every few months, so I do not practise daily and I have been doing this for the first time in my adult life since around 2012.  I have decided to change this.

I have decided after watching a video on YouTube by Love Life Drawing https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzhVOU47aSo  to practise art daily for just one hour per day because it is said that if you practise doing something for 1000 hours you will become quite good at it, so an hour a day will make it approximately 3yrs before I become a much better artist and to me that is enough to prompt me into action.  Three years is really such a little time.

I have never stopped learning something daily, so therefore I have the ability to continue learning new skills, some people when they get to a certain age give up learning altogether as they feel it is not necessary for them to be learning new things or because they feel that they are too old to change radically which I personally think is (excuse the language) bullshit; I am going to be thirty seven on my next birthday and I am already making radical changes in my life.

The changes are to learn how to become a better writer, learning grammar and punctuation, something ironically I have never bothered to learn before, shocking I know!  Learning math, because I was mostly home-educated and math was a weak point for my main teacher (mum) so therefore after the age of eight I hardly learned math at all.  Practising art, which is something my adult self never took seriously as well as wildlife photography – Paul is a former photographer so he is thrilled I want to take this up!  Also I have a life-long goal that I have never taken seriously and that is to learn five languages before I die, I know enough French and Japanese to survive as a tourist in those countries if I ever go on holiday abroad, but I also started to learn Italian last November.  So my five chosen languages to learn in life fluently are French, Italian, Japanese, Spanish and German.  I am on the cusp of level 2 Italian right now. 

So those are my goals, also my goal is to try and find some way in defeating my auto-immune problem or at least trying to work my way around it so I can actually get a life, a life I want as I am tired of merely existing to keep doctors in their jobs. 

I am also determined to offer myself up to medical science whilst still alive, to find a way in repairing lost hearing, because I am nearly completely deaf and I am scared of losing the tiny bit of hearing I currently have.  Recently I have lost enough hearing that I no longer hear certain beats and rhythms in music that I knew existed before and it really makes me depressed as I lived my life in music before the left ear started to fade away too.  I learned the piano by ear (no pun intended) I can’t read music; I started to learn the guitar just months before my left ear started to play up.  Music composure is another goal I always had and I have done some composing in the past; but when I learned I could be completely deaf by the time I am fifty and I was told I should learn British sign language, I decided to give up music and I don’t care about how Beethoven did just fine with his hearing loss, to me, I love hearing, I love language, I love music and it is hard for me to know I will hear less and less over the years.

I should really add a sixth language goal, to learn British Sign Language but I am afraid that the universe will take this as a resolution that I will go deaf and would make it happen faster.  Stupid I know, I suppose I should give up Italian to learn BSL but I am denying things will get that bad… idiotically no doubt.

So I have decided to post up some art whenever I make it, I will try daily, but you know me, Procrastinator Extraordinaire.  Well here is what I have done today and I want to tell you quite honestly, this is my second attempt at drawing a hand, my hand.  Paul says that hands are notoriously difficult for artists to draw and he insists I have a natural talent for hands, I don’t know what to think about that, but O-K that’s amazing!  I think my hand looks hideous on paper drawn by me, but the hand in itself is deformed slightly, my left hand has a tendon problems that leads up through the forearm and it is twisting more than just my baby finger these days and its becoming painful, something the doctor needs to be alerted on soon as Paul is terrified that if I fall over or support myself the wrong way the baby finger is just going to snap, seriously it is getting that bad!

Sorry for being so graphically cringe worthy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2 Comments

Filed under About my work

Carnival of Lost Souls

This is NOT my personal work http://www.amazon.co.uk/Carnival-Lost-Souls-Nox-Arcana/dp/B000FOT9EE/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1436560945&sr=8-4&keywords=Nox+Arcana

A lot of my work comes about because of the thoughts that come to my mind when I listen to certain music; my inspiration changes with each kind of music I listen to, this is why I love instrumental music, particularly that from Nox Arcana.
I have all of their albums, they are essential for me to work effectively. Never before has a band affected me in such a way as Nox Arcana. Their music is exactly the kind of atmosphere I need to set my brain into for my work in fantasy and horror writing and art.

I might very well review each album or song separately someday, but the most listened to album for me is this one – Carnival of Lost Souls.

The amount of fantasy horror I’ve thought of. I have even thought about a comic series because of this music, this along with (sorry, something not Nox Arcana related) = The Honky Tonk Merry-go-round by Patsy Cline. Oh the things I have dreamt, thank you Nox Arcana, very much for this one. Johnny Depp is going to love you all the more if he ever reads my stuff and found out his new nightmares were inspired by you. *insert evil laugh here*.

Since I lost Cubase many moons ago, my computer isn’t hooked up with music composing software anymore (and I can’t read or write music, but I can play by ear and compose – with the software). My music was similar to Nox Arcana, that’s why I love it so much. I think the band must be within my soul group or something? Anyway, once I figured out how to configure my old Microsoft XP files onto my new computer (perhaps in Neverwhere) I will load up my old music and share it. Otherwise, if I really am in Neverwhere with that then my old music has been lost in the ethers of time forever. *Insert forlorn pierrot here*.

My creativity really is controlled by the type of music that’s around me at the time. In the times of no music, I tend to write flatly and that’s only suitable when I am writing non-fiction or essays.

Now being deaf, I rely heavily on vibrations, lip-reading and my two hearing aids and I am not looking forward to the day that my consultant said is in the near future, that I will lose my hearing altogether. Unfortunately at the time this was said to me, the consultant in question told me that there is nothing they can do to repair my hearing if the worst case scenario crops up, thankfully I know someone in the ENT department abroad who says that’s utter tosh. So fingers crossed that I will never lose my hearing completely.

I don’t know what I would do without my Nox Arcana!

Leave a comment

Filed under About my work, My inspirations, reviews

It’s Christmas time

The bells of Christmas are chiming the hour of waking to presents galore

Children awaking and presents they’re shaking, wrapping paper all over the floor

It’s Christmas time, a time of fun

Look what Santa’s magic has spun

It’s Christmas time

A wonderful day

Listen to the children laugh and play

It’s Christmas time look at the feast

Roasting a magnificent beast

With décor chiming all around

Listen to the festive sounds

Its Christmas time a wonderful day, look around you what do you say?

It’s Christmas time, a time for peace

Sitting by the fire in a soft lovely fleece

We all will love our Christmas day

A time where everybody will play

We will sing to our hearts content and nonchalantly we’ll invent

Games and happiness galore, makes Christmas time never a bore

It’s Christmas time, a time of fun

Look what Santa’s magic has spun

It’s Christmas time

A wonderful day

Listen to the children laugh and play

It’s Christmas time look at the feast

Roasting a magnificent beast

 

 

1 Comment

Filed under Songs

you mortal fool

Nightmares lurking in the shadows

Midnight creeping up the stairs

A cold chill comes to tap your shoulder

What are you here for?

You don’t know what danger I am

You mortal fool

You awful fool

You don’t know who or what I am

You mortal fool

You awful fool

Here I am, I’m cute as apple pie

One step closer, you’re gonna die

I’ve got cute fangs, cute fangs like incy wincy spider

Come to me and I will bite ya

You don’t know what danger I am

You mortal fool

You awful fool

You don’t know who or what I am

You mortal fool

You awful fool

Oh baby, baby what did I say?

Why do you bleed in such a way?

Oh look at your life it’s gone away

Deary me couldn’t you stay?

You don’t know what danger I am

You mortal fool

You awful fool

You don’t know who or what I am

You mortal fool

You awful fool

You don’t know what danger I am

You mortal fool

You awful fool

You don’t know who or what I am

You mortal fool

You awful fool

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems V - Z, Songs

Crystallaphones and plans

My plans for after Christmas are to find distance or online courses to learn how to read music and actually start becoming proficient in a musical instrument that’s not piano/keyboard based; this is because my interest in song writing and composing is becoming almost unbearable to ignore, particularly as I don’t have anyone in my life who’ll cause me stress anymore (other than a 3yr old son, but he’s sweet and easily worked around). 

I have found a new instrument that takes my interest and I hope I am lucky enough to do a part exchange with my electric guitar to get one, but I’ve heard to find one even in a music shop is rare, the instrument is… a crystallaphone, or as some people will know it as a glass xylophone; however it’s very likely that I’ll end up with a left handed electric guitar as a replacement (as I didn’t take my disability into consideration – my left hand has short tendons).

I am still heavily interested in watercolor painting and sketching, but I have put that on a back burner since I’ve been ill for the last three weeks, also the house needs organizing as I need to prepare a workspace for the art and the music I would like to take up.  I am slowly introducing myself to small chunks of work a week, roughly two hours a time, three days a week to settle into it because I am regularly ill, hence the unemployment I am in, I can’t hold a job down, not even a voluntary placement these days.  The mind and heart is willing but the body will not comply.

I need to find something that I can do from home but does not require me to use the telephone (not because I am unsocial, but because I have fluctuate hearing and regular ear infections that even an amplified phone is useless with) and despite this being the age of texting, not a lot of professionals or customers like communicating with staff via text only and most forget your hearing problems because when they talk to you face to face and you respond (because you’re an excellent lip reader) they think oh it’s not so bad.

Yes I know it’s strange that a person who has regular hearing problems wants to compose music, but there’s been others out there who have done it proficiently, so why can’t I?  I believe I am right in stating that Beethoven was stone deaf wasn’t he?  And one of the bee gees, he was like me, partially hearing, wasn’t he? And their music is great, isn’t it?

I don’t want to be a singer, I couldn’t take the commitment there because I never know when I am going to be sick and most of my sickness is based around practically all the aspects of the ear nose and throat, which doesn’t help for a singing life.  When I was younger I trained in opera but after the age of 12 I couldn’t sing it regularly enough to be considered talented in it, because I developed regular mastoid infections which needed regular operations etc. and singing became quite painful for me literally.

So with that said, I am trying my best to make myself a creative life and I hope that when things take off I find people who are sympathetic to those who have health problems and will help me work around them in a non-stressful manner.

 

 

 

2 Comments

Filed under My life

Devil’s tango 2

Gingerly I danced with the devil

Cautiously I gave him my heart

Defiantly I played roulette with the devil

Now he is tearing my soul apart

 

That’s what happens when you play with fire

That’s what happens when you’re lead by desire

This is what happens when you’re toying with lust

Soon my soul will turn to dust dust dust

 

Just look at me, look at me

I am just a fragment of the former me

I cannot lie, I’d rather die

But no mortal hears my desperate cries

 

Look at me, look at me

I am just a shell of what I used to be

Look at me, look at me

Won’t someone help? 

Set me free?

This is a song I wrote tonight, I still haven’t learned how to write music yet and I do have the music in mind for this song and I think it would do brilliantly with a tango theme.  I would love to become a songwriter and composer but at the moment I really can’t afford the lessons I need to learn how to read and write music effectively enough to sell.

It’s a shame really because I often get songs and music in my head, more than I do novels and poems etc. 

Leave a comment

Filed under Songs

Just two scars

Sometimes I thought about writing a whole theater production or musical, as I imagine music and lyrics so much, but until I learn how to play music without playing by ear I fear this is a dream doomed to never become reality. 

This song below is something I’ve planned on doing as a musical; it’s about vampires and every paragraph skips back and forth between two characters, a vampire lady and the son of a pastor.

Originally when writing this song I thought it was going to become the love of an angel and a demon, fighting each other but then falling madly and deeply in love with each other, but as all you other writers out there knows; your work dictates to you, you don’t dictate to it, and so as it flowed on it became vampiric, not a struggle between good and evil like first planned.

Hope you enjoy it – remember it’s to be sung, not read as poetry, but I don’t expect you to know the tune it’s supposed to be sang to.  In all honesty, it was supposed to be a poem too, but it never turned out that way, I got something at the back of my head as background music which resembled something Manowar would have.

 

There fire in my soul, there’s a fire in my heart tonight

Tonight, there’s a place where the darkness fights the light

Tonight, tonight, our love is a place that beckons for a fight

With you in my arms, I feel your charms

Happy with me, you’re restless without me

You’re an angel faced fool

I’ve watched how you’ve drooled

As I shimmy around the nightclub

Tooled by my quest to capture you

You’re easy prey

The devil said it and now I say it too

You’re easy prey

A purity installed heart, I’ll tear you apart

Hear what I say

I am bad for you, oh guess what I’m gonna do

I’ll lead you astray

To a place you’ve never dreamed

I will do it this way

Make your heart mine and on a feast of blood I’ll dine

And take your bouquet

And lay it across your coffin

Knowing you’ll be mine forever

Don’t scream

 

I lay in confusion, wondering what happened

I feel very different, where am I?

 

You are with me, my sweet little angel

I have given you a gift

You and I are children of the night, dear

We are vampires, in case it isn’t clear

 Please, have no fear

 

This can’t be true, I refuse to believe it

Let me out of this place, your lies are a disgrace

 

Listen to me, it is the truth

A mirror will prove it

Don’t be so uncouth

 

I don’t believe it

It’s true

I see no reflection

 

It’s true, now that you’ve seen it

You know that forever you’ll have youth

 

These are the trials and tribulations of creating new, excitations

How do you view my revelations?

Do you want this too?

Do you want to be renewed?

Vampires of the night we are

Fashioned by hunger

Our sun is millions of stars

 

Take my hand and become like us

All it takes is two scars

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Songs

Piano lessons

Is it possible for someone who has a disabled/unusable baby finger to find a piano tutor who’ll know how to work around that problem?

I have played the piano since I was five years old (at my grandmother’s house), but never done so properly, meaning, I don’t work well with both hands, I also can’t read music.  I am self taught, play by ear, I want to learn how to read and write the music, so I can learn other complex songs quicker and so I can become a songwriter more effectively.

I’ve always wanted to write songs, but I don’t know how to read music.  I understand I can learn how to read music without learning the piano, but I want to do both.  I want to learn how to use my hands properly, despite the loss of use in the baby finger of the left hand.

When I was younger I was given a copy of cu-base and this helped me compose some tunes, but then I was without a computer for a while and my brother nicked the cu-based and sold it, ever since I’ve always wanted to do songwriting.  I just lacked the courage to go to college about it, because I can’t play the piano professionally, or how people expect you to, also my left hand is slow and needs speed training.

Leave a comment

Filed under About my work