Tag Archives: crime

2.5 hours sleep

Having only 2.5 hours sleep last night, I am quite surprised at how my brain is on top form this morning; something that’s been a struggle for over eighteen months now.   I scored 821 points in online scrabble and I’ve written over one thousand words before noon that’s going to be published on my blog, this is a record for me as I tend to linger over one thousand words in a whole day that’s usually utter rubbish and will never be published anywhere.

The post I wrote for my blog will be published on the 8th August so keep an eye out for it as there is something in this post that will be the main theme for that day.

That is…

As a writer I procrastinate profusely because I am overloaded with more ideas that actually knuckling down to work. I get an average of two novel or short story ideas a day and I have over seven large files containing just ideas, some of these ideas have been with me since I was ten years old and they are so vast (as in an epic series) that I can’t actually believe that anyone would actually want to publish all that drivel without severely abridging my work (insert pained expression here).

One of the main reasons why I have been afraid of professional success has been that an editor will come along and say to me; “cut this out and this and this and this” and I will be standing there agape and aghast that they dare think that they are gods of my worlds! Demons of apocalypse, back away from my creations you heinous, cruel, heartless reapers of my poor innocent imaginary friends, BACK AWAY NOW! (Holds up baseball bat in defence of my many worlds). Oh, OK, maybe I can kill a few darlings as Stephen King would suggest in his book “On Writing”, but it will be painful and they will be mourned by no one else except for me. Damn being a writer is depressing.

Anyway, focusing back onto this subject – I’ve tried to force myself to concentrate on one main story for the last few years and you know what? I don’t think my brain can work that way. I think I need to have many stories on the go at once, I know when I used to be like that I was more productive as a whole and I was told by a college lecturer (of GCSE English Literature) that if I want to be a writer I should focus on one story at a time or else I will become confused and so will my readers. Actually thinking back I think this is bullshit because as a writer I do more than just write my work, I actually read my own work too and edit to the best of my ability – so what utter tosh.

Since 2002 I’ve been working on a fantasy comedy based around some drunk leprechauns, I have the beginning, middle and end, but I have got bored with it seven chapters on because of computer faults deleting most of it with corrupt files etc., after four occasions where this happens and you have no hard copies you get a little disheartened with the story and start to wonder if the story is bad luck, don’t you? Well I do.

Anyway, between writing the leprechaun comedy, I’ve been writing snippets for an epic vampire series – something I’ve been working on since I was ten years old, god I love vampires.

The vampire stories will never be neglected, they are always added to at least once a week, even if it’s just a sentence, they will never be forgotten, because to me, they are my family and I will defend these stories the most if I ever feel brave enough to trust them with a publisher.

Over the years, before I started to concentrate on just one or two, I had started two dystopian stories, a comedy about a female wrestler, a comic about a cat, a comic about a sex crazed astronaut nun, a comic about dominant women invading a planet for mates, a crazy millionaire woman who kills herself after committing murder, a novel about a plague survivor, cowboy vampires, and a console addict sucked into a computer world – to name but a few.

Some of those ideas I gave up because I found similar books or movies during the writing of them by accident and was concerned of plagiarism, but having original ideas is difficult – so therefore I may start some of them up again and do them anyway soon.

No matter what genre I write, I don’t think I can help but have some humour in my stories – I would not be at all surprised if I eventually get coined as a crossover author for horror, fantasy and comedy.

I am starting a horror novel today, based on the advice of my husband and the fact that I am enthusiastic about it and it’s fresh in my mind – so, here I go…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under About my work

The Watch

I do not claim any rights to this image.

What fantasy fan would be complete without venturing into the genres of science fiction, comedy and horror occasionally?
As a Ben Stiller fan, I wasn’t too disappointed with this movie although it’s not his finest moment, but it was very funny nonetheless. Ben Stiller’s character Evan is the solid citizen of a small town in Ohio. Evan worked as the manager of Costco supermarket and one of his employees got murdered mysteriously one night whilst on security duty. Evan being very close to his employees felt that he must do something about it, so he sets up a neighbourhood watch group with which only three other local men became a member (all oddballs in some way or other).
Things turned out pretty strange for Evan and his group members as they accidentally ran something gooey over, they found a strange metallic sphere and took it home with them having no inclination that it was other worldly.
Strange people start entering the groups lives, particularly Bob’s daughters life and things get out of hand – alien sightings happen, more murders and the group becomes more and more determined to make the town safe.
The movie isn’t without its drama and ups and downs despite it being mostly a comedy, foul language rages rampant in this movie with plenty of sexual innuendos, a mass alien shoot up and twists in the plot.
By and large it was a good, if somewhat weird movie that had a very “scary movie” feel to it.

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Filed under reviews

You’re a bad man Mr. Gum books 1 to 5

You’re a bad man Mr. Gum by Andy Stanton.

I read these books in June 2014 as they were highly recommended to me by various members at goodreads.com and I have to say I am bitterly disappointed.

I would never let a child of mine read these unless they were teenagers, I really don’t find these books suitable for under twelves; they seem to condone animal cruelty, crime, dog poisoning, selling rancid meat and all sorts of undesirable trash that makes being evil seem cooler than being good, which in my opinion is not something I want to convey to my children – in fact they make the good people in the book come across as total idiots and evil people as being very clever, truly shocking as a children’s series to be honest, I was expecting far better.

The rating for these books is low, despite the humor in some pages; I think these books should be re-categorized as adult fantasy comedy.

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mocking caws

These are colors of the winter that I am seeing now

Painted with greys and whites the pictures to my tale

A tale of winter harsh and cold, of a time that’s best forgot

Of a time when I discovered, a body that morbidly rots

Along the banks of the canal, a ladies leg I saw

And I was ushered away fiercely, from the ravenous crow like caws

And I remember running, a running from that sound

I had no clue where I was going; I did not know where I was bound

I chose that moment not to tell, or speak of what I saw

And mockingly it followed, the crow with the callous caws

Why I did that I can’t tell, for fear is a funny thing

But to this day I still hear it, the mocking crow still sings

Caw, Caw, it goes all night, Caw, Caw, it goes all day

It will never leave me now, it will always stay

A punishment for cowardice, a punishment for my fear

No matter how hard I run from it, those caws I’ll always hear

I am being sent insane, a chastisement for my dread

And I will never forget this, not until I’m dead

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Filed under Poems M - O

The Lazy Lout

Violence always has a place in a rogue’s heart

Some people seem to live just to tear another’s life apart

They seek out victims all the time

Wondering if there’s a quick way to earn a dime

Of course there is, if you are willing

To forcibly take that old lady’s shilling

You vile rat, you’ve been exposed

Now you, society will dispose

Oh crime doesn’t pay little men

Turn your cheek and make amends

For someday they’ll catch you out

And the consequences are hard

You lazy lout

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Filed under Poems S - U

Locked Up

There were a few poems I wrote once and I added them to poetry.com I think this happened around 2003 to 2005 I can’t really remember, but anyway, I forgot some of those poems and I tried to access the website to find that they went under new management in the past couple of years and so deleted many poems that were once there and filed them away.  This site claims you can get access to your poems easily, but I haven’t the foggiest how to do it.

So, I am a little upset about that.

Well in any case, I remember one off by heart and here it is;

Locked up

You locked me up one day, many years ago, to become weak and to grow old

You never thought I could be free, you really thought you owned me

I’ve proved you wrong and I am right

You’ll not get me without a fight

For I am dead now, thanks to you

Free as a bird

Unlike you

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Filed under Poems J - L