Tag Archives: ear

Sunday word count 1

I will try to remember every Sunday to post up my weekly word count towards novels and short stories I am working on. 

This past week I have added words towards one short story and three novels. This is not including writing down ideas of new stories I have planned, nor is it including research notes, blog posts, poetry or anything else – just novels and short stories.  The word count is not spectacular, but I am working on improving it.

The grand total this week is….

5679 words

Disappointing huh? 

Well here comes the excuses; this is actually a slow week for me because I haven’t done much writing this week at all in comparison to my normal writing week.  Why?

My desktop computer monitor decided to die on me for two days.

I don’t cope well with the heat, prone to heat stroke and breathing problems.

My son is off from school for the next six weeks, so my writing count is usually cut by half on school holidays.

I have been reading and researching more.

I have been learning about make-up application and have been addicted to watching Nabela Noor and Jeffree Star on YouTube, I discovered them last week.  When I gave up being Goth around 15yrs ago I never really learned how to use make up and never wore make up since and I am getting to the point I need coverage, ha-ha.

So there are the excuses, I only watch an hour of YouTube a day this past week, so it’s not stealing that much from me in regards to writing time, considering I rarely watch TV, so TV is rarely a distraction for me – I tend to watch programs whilst writing, programs that doesn’t need me to look at the screen too much such as The Proms, radio channels, or the occasional glimpse at nature documentaries such as David Attenborough or the Spring Watch team.  I lose my hearing too much at random times, so I have learned not to make my life revolve (or is it evolve?) around TV, because I often have to use subtitles and get to hear virtually nothing a lot of the time anyway.  So I have learned to be a reader/writer/researcher, unless my eyes go on me, then I am going to be OK regarding entertainment.

It is because my hearing levels are so random from one day to the next, that I can no longer keep my secretarial and classroom assistant jobs that I used to have.  Hearing loss is a big bother because I can’t do much independently regarding going to a doctor and hearing them, I need someone with me who can interpret via lip syncing to tell me what the doctor has just said, it is even worse when dealing with things on a confidential front such as banking, particularly telephone banking when online banking goes wrong – you have no idea how many companies out there do not accept a speaker on a deaf persons behalf, I am only glad I am not a deaf mute, because then I would seriously have problems.  I often have to try and talk to someone I can’t hear on a phone, hoping my husband or someone else can interpret for me as long as I give them verbal permission over the phone, my goodness, I feel for the mutes.  Especially as three years ago I had a throat infection that lead into the ears that was so bad I had laryngitis for 4 months solid, so I have experienced temporary muteness and I did have a banking problem then, that I couldn’t solve until I could speak, 6 weeks to get a fraudulent act on my online payments sorted out, because I could not voice that I gave my husband permission to handle it over the phone for me!  For 6 weeks my account was blocked because I could not verify that I gave permission, I am only thankful that my account doesn’t pay any major bills.

Well anyway, going back onto my writing I could have written a lot more if it weren’t for the interruptions, I would say as much as 16k more words and I don’t expect my word count to be beyond 10k a week whilst the school holidays are here.  I do most of my writing in the living room on a desktop computer and my son rarely leaves the room and is often loudly shouting about his robots in the robot wars arena he has made on the carpet and his robot wars videos he watched on YouTube overtakes the music I put on to get me into the mood for writing fiction.  It is easier to write poetry and research and make research notes or further synopsis’s of new stories than it is to write towards novels or short stories for competitions during the day.  Most of my writing at the holidays happens between 11pm and 1am, but Henry is suffering from some emotional issues right now which mean that my days can be very challenging and tiring by the time night falls.

When the holidays are over I write sparsely throughout the day because of my ADD and therefore I can often get 3k words done on some days.  Well anyways, the future will show and tell if I can remember about Sundays.  You will see patterns of no writing at all some weeks, because I get health problems which mean I can’t even read a book at times, such as a chest infection with a running nose, where I am busy literally every single second trying to keep myself together and alive without choking.  Sad but true, I have an immunity issue that is much better since having a radical diet change but I still get long illnesses. 

Anyway, I will update my weekly word count towards short stories and novels every Sunday. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

           

 

 

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Filed under About my work

Ear infection and gem healing

HAPPY NEW YEAR

So I’ve currently got another ear infection in the left ear.  Something which usually deters me from reading or writing altogether and it can last sometimes up to two weeks, but I have decided if I keep allowing pain to dictate my life to me, then I will never really finish anything.  So though it is difficult to type with one hand at times or read a heavy 300 page hardback book one-handed, but I will somehow manage between my one-handedness and using my hand that I should write.  Why are you one-handed occasionally?  I hear you ask!  Because I am trying out gemstone healing and I have an amethyst pressed against my left ear!  Funnily enough it works and my amethyst is doing exactly what the gem healers say it would, it is going white.

I will be going to the doctor on the 3rd January, not tomorrow because I have to deal with a very urgent banking matter… again.

 

 

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Constant Pain

My head is swelling up

My ear is getting sore

My head starts to thump

Tinnitus begins to roar

I feel sick and lazy

I feel tired and in pain

This constant pressure in my ear is driving me insane

Every day is different, every day the same

I live in constant variations of suffering and pain

How’s your ailments?  People ask

How’s your breathing I want to say?

But I keep quiet and carry on

Like nothings in my way

One infection, one week

Another in a fortnight

A virus after that’s cleared up

I don’t need some psychic foresight

This is my life

Like it or not

I know you wouldn’t if you were me

Living in a useless way

In pain and suffering

Knock me out I often ask

Throttle me right now

Help me out of this rotten life

Please make a solemn vow

But no one wants to

So I live on

In pain and agony

I am not strong

I have no choice but to suffer this

Each and every day

Be brave others tell me

And I think more about the grave

I have no choice but to be brave I say

I have no choice at all

You think staying at home all day in pain is lovely, like a ball?

Oh if it were only so, but it’s not

I live in pain, my ear is hot

Burning inside, burning out

Making me dizzy, draining from my snout

I can’t have fun or laughter

I can’t have a life at all

For living in pain isn’t lovely

Try a day you fool

I would love nothing better than to do the school run and work

I don’t choose this life you scum bag, you idiot and you twerp

I know I’m angry that is true

But try living in my shoes

I try each day to keep myself sane

To keep my temper calm

But it’s hard to stick with politeness, when others show their qualms

She’s here to infect us again they say

But what I have isn’t contagious

I’ve had it all my life almost

Isn’t it outrageous?

I try to live a normal life

But it’s hard to do it each day

I don’t often go out at all

Not even for play

It is a lonely life I have

It is a sad one too

But I don’t want your sympathy

That’s the worst thing you could do

I just want the pain to stop

And my nose stop running too

I want to live a normal life

And get to know a person or two

I want to do the school run

Get a part time job at Scope

I want to do so many things

I sit and wonder and hope

That someday my life will change

I will find a good doctor

A consultant who knows what is wrong

Someone to cure me of all my ills

Somebody who really feels

For their patients and kind too

Someone who knows what to do

So I can breathe normally

So I can hear just fine

So I don’t live my life in pain anymore

And live the life that’s mine

I want to be free to live my life

Be happy without sickness and pain

I want to recover right now

Because it’s driving me insane

I sit and wish it won’t be long

Before I get to heal

Because if it goes on for much more longer

I, myself shall kill

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under My life, Poems A - C

I’m back

I am back after a long illness, still not fully recovered but missed updating this blog a lot.

I had a sinus infection in December which affected the chest too and by late April I got pneumonia because of the prolonged infection; thankfully pneumonia is no longer an issue, though I still have those infections even now and I have been told on Wednesday that there could be further health complications with my ears.

The sinus has caused pressure in my left ear which has affected my hearing due to making the ear drum deformed (hopefully temporarily); this is scary stuff as I am already completely deaf in my right ear and have been since 1997, so this is worrying news indeed.

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Crystallaphones and plans

My plans for after Christmas are to find distance or online courses to learn how to read music and actually start becoming proficient in a musical instrument that’s not piano/keyboard based; this is because my interest in song writing and composing is becoming almost unbearable to ignore, particularly as I don’t have anyone in my life who’ll cause me stress anymore (other than a 3yr old son, but he’s sweet and easily worked around). 

I have found a new instrument that takes my interest and I hope I am lucky enough to do a part exchange with my electric guitar to get one, but I’ve heard to find one even in a music shop is rare, the instrument is… a crystallaphone, or as some people will know it as a glass xylophone; however it’s very likely that I’ll end up with a left handed electric guitar as a replacement (as I didn’t take my disability into consideration – my left hand has short tendons).

I am still heavily interested in watercolor painting and sketching, but I have put that on a back burner since I’ve been ill for the last three weeks, also the house needs organizing as I need to prepare a workspace for the art and the music I would like to take up.  I am slowly introducing myself to small chunks of work a week, roughly two hours a time, three days a week to settle into it because I am regularly ill, hence the unemployment I am in, I can’t hold a job down, not even a voluntary placement these days.  The mind and heart is willing but the body will not comply.

I need to find something that I can do from home but does not require me to use the telephone (not because I am unsocial, but because I have fluctuate hearing and regular ear infections that even an amplified phone is useless with) and despite this being the age of texting, not a lot of professionals or customers like communicating with staff via text only and most forget your hearing problems because when they talk to you face to face and you respond (because you’re an excellent lip reader) they think oh it’s not so bad.

Yes I know it’s strange that a person who has regular hearing problems wants to compose music, but there’s been others out there who have done it proficiently, so why can’t I?  I believe I am right in stating that Beethoven was stone deaf wasn’t he?  And one of the bee gees, he was like me, partially hearing, wasn’t he? And their music is great, isn’t it?

I don’t want to be a singer, I couldn’t take the commitment there because I never know when I am going to be sick and most of my sickness is based around practically all the aspects of the ear nose and throat, which doesn’t help for a singing life.  When I was younger I trained in opera but after the age of 12 I couldn’t sing it regularly enough to be considered talented in it, because I developed regular mastoid infections which needed regular operations etc. and singing became quite painful for me literally.

So with that said, I am trying my best to make myself a creative life and I hope that when things take off I find people who are sympathetic to those who have health problems and will help me work around them in a non-stressful manner.

 

 

 

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Surgery is a maybe

It seems as though my mastoid problem in the ear has come back and I may need more surgery on it, with this in mind, my blogs may have to be put on hold for a while, with that said I will try and post what I can when I can.

Thank you

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