Tag Archives: fact

So you want to be me?

So you want to be me

Do you want my pain?

Do you want my gain?

Do you want my time, my freedom and hopes?

Do you want my anger, my family, my friends, my dopes?

Do you want my disease, my energy, my life?

Do you want to follow my path even in strife?

Do you want my scars and my bills? 

Do you want my kind of health and ills?

Do you want my skill?

Do you want my knowledge, my obsessions and thrills?

Do you want my tolerance?

The answer to most if you knew, would be no, no not at all you fool!

What kind of a life is that?

I say to you, I told you so, I told you, and it’s a fact.

So think twice when you copy me, when you say to others, I want to be she… because you don’t know what lies within me, you don’t know… fact.

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Vlad Dracula III

Since the 2nd January I have been slowly reading a history book with a fine comb called “Dracula, Prince of many faces; his life and his times”. I am reading this because I have never sat down at length and read an autobiography of the real legendary hero of Romania outside of short documentaries, articles and mentions in other history books.
So, because a lot of the things I knew about Vlad Dracula before I read this book seem to come from so many other sources, I feel that they are perhaps more accurate than this book. I know you probably think I am wrong to state that because the person who wrote the book was a historian, though I dispute it nonetheless; on the ground that according to my research the Florescu family were well known to be enemies of the Dracula’s and this book was no less written by Radu Florescu, possibly a descendant from those enemies.
I found the historian to be a sympathiser of the Turks and the Ottoman empire despite his apparent heritage; he also doesn’t view Dracula in the same light as other historians and other sources that I have read and he seems to have altered certain facts of major events within his life to make Dracula come across as an unstable tyrant who was unpopular from the start; quite the contrary to the fact. OK, I grant you it is tyrannical to go around killing people in the manner that he did, but by and large he is a much loved hero in Romanian culture, not something a lot of tyrants can proclaim.
So, it makes me wonder, if a lot of Romanians hold Dracula up in a favourable light, whether or not Dracula was as bad as this historian claims he was?
Obviously taking his executions into account they were evil and sadistic, but then again the same could be said for a lot of other cultures in the world at those times. He especially learned his techniques in every manner from the decade or so he was held prisoner and educated by the Turks themselves, so, he is as he was nurtured and the Turks certainly did nurture him ultimately for their own gain. They wanted money, horses, food and a certain amount of young boys integrated into the Ottoman empire to form part of their expanding armies as a sort of security against any Wallachian response and allowed Dracula to govern Wallachia for them, something of which didn’t last long once Vlad Dracula established himself back on his home soil; Dracula rightfully denied the payment and tried to juggle diplomacy between the Turks and the Hungarians for a long time, though eventually it was decided that the Turks were taking too much advantage of their supposed alliance and Dracula dealt with them promptly and harshly as would any other good ruler of the times.
The attack on German immigrants however, is a new thing that I’ve learned about him from this book. Because it is the first I have heard of these events, I cannot dispute it as a legitimate fact.
Many of the things I have learned about Vlad Dracula have made me feel in awe of his cleverness in these very tricky treaties and wars. He was very canny and wasn’t easily duped.
His reactions against the Turks taking possession of his land was by poisoning everything valuable such as wells and damaging his own crops and livestock; he also built dams to mire the edges of the Danube to protect his people from the canon fire from the Turks and then ensuring that his own people moved to safer places away from the invaders leading up to the famous “night of attack” was a very admirable feat, and showed how benevolent he was towards his people despite claims from German sources; He was also incredibly lucky, as six years before this event he was in a war where only 8000 Romanian peasants armed with only pitchforks and scythes, ousted 24000 Turkish professional troops, how he mustered that I have no idea, but to me it shows me how great he actually was, I am very taken by the history of this great and unappreciated man!
I am not taking for granted that things within this book are fact – due to the other sources I’ve learned from. I cannot vouch for whom or where those other sources came from, but I do know one of them was about the legend of Dracula in both media, fiction and fact in one of Jonathan Ross’s specials where a baroness spoke of how great a hero Vlad Dracula actually was and how rightfully offended she was of various inaccuracies and the fact that this great man was turned into a successful horror story.
Some of the events in Draculas life seems more altered in this book than from the other sources too, for example, the incident where he killed a man’s wife and replaced her – from other sources it was said that she didn’t iron his clothes properly and that he was a soldier in Dracula’s army, this book claims he was a normal peasant and his wife got the length of the shirt wrong – so there are some questions about who is right or not.
I have no formal qualifications in anything of which I am saying, but I have read a lot and watched a lot of documentaries over the years about this great prince; I am also an amateur genealogist. I like reading books about wars and royal classes from the 11th to the 17th century and all over the world not just limited to Europe. I read and study these independently to assist me to write such things accurately in any fiction I write, I write a lot containing feudalism generally in many of my fantasy works.
I also educate myself on all kinds of superstitions around the world and so-called heathen beliefs, to again, make my worlds seem more real. I have studied the social sciences to help me further, though I gave up my undergraduate qualification when I found my illness and having a toddler very difficult to juggle with university studies.
By and large I try hard to learn about all things cultural and I think if you are making worlds that aren’t based on Earth or are based on an earlier time on Earth, you need to do the same thing too, otherwise everything will seem unreal to the reader.

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home to paradise

I was floating above my shell last night

About to travel to the world of my dreams

But then I stopped

I don’t know why

It’s frustrating that I do not fly into that other realm

Maybe it’s because the idea overwhelms?

Oh is it real?  I can’t tell

But I know it’s a place that’s put me under its spell

Maybe they’ll call me tonight or maybe not?

I hope so; to me it means a lot

Though I worry that it’s not all real

That a game is being played

I sometimes think that way and I shouldn’t

But I think I’m mentally frayed

Well one day I shall know

And if it’s real my happiness will overflow

But if it’s not, then my soul will die

Because for many years this place has made me cry

For I want to go home

I want to go home to my paradise

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OCD Cat

There’s a cat in my garden that’s always washing

Sitting on cardboard boxes quashing

He’s never fazed as I watch, him licking his crotch

© Tina Cousins 2013

This poem is based on an actual cat in my garden, who has been visiting me ever since I moved here, his name is Toby and he belongs to a lady who lives two doors away from me. 

He is an odd looking cat, he is black, but as he is getting older he is progressively becoming ginger.

I’ve been ill with various viruses since November 2012, for some reason they’re lingering and affecting my whole household/family, this has meant the large boxes from Christmas has been left in a section of our garden this whole time, because they were too large to put in the bins, we were meant to break them down gradually to put in the recycling bin, but our sickness has prevented it, we are now thinking of burning them after checking for wildlife, but this may have to wait for a few more days.

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The little bumblebee

Who trusts the little bumblebee that it will not sting?

A little fairy on a bough with brightly shining wings

She trusts the little bumblebee that it will harm her, not.

That is a little fact you know, that we have most forgot

A little bee won’t harm us, to them that’s suicide

Instead we shouldn’t flap our arms; just let them fly right by

The noble bumblebee, what will we do without?

It’s such a shame we forget them, and give them all a clout

Without their grace and charm, we will have no farms

Without their working ways, in the meadow won’t be hay

Without them it won’t be funny, we need more than just their honey

Just think about them as friends, and their life never put an end

Bees should last forever, without them we will starve

Bees should be protected, both near and far

So if you care about the world, just remember this

Bees are there for us, do not treat them amiss

© Tina Cousins 2013


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