Always a pleasure
That art is freedom, it is pure bliss!
Always a pleasure
That art is freedom, it is pure bliss!
Sunday word count four – I’m not on The Wall of Shame huzzah!
This week’s word total is…
And possibly more as I have written approximately six pages of stuff by hand and haven’t typed them up on the computer yet!
It is good but I have written nothing at all for three of the days this week and my only excuse for that is I was exhausted and had gastric flu. Yes, sorry for the TMI (too much information).
The days break up as this;
11th August – nothing and that’s because our internet is still tetchy, in fact it has been tetchy again today too.
12th August – 1584 words, which is usually considered a low average for me.
13th August – 7483 words, that is amazing and I wish most days were like this! Especially as it is still the school summer holiday!
14th August – 637 words, quite low and not at all good in my opinion!
15th August – nothing, because I was busy with other things, mostly reading and calming Henry down and having what seems to be gastric flu.
16th August – nothing again because of the gastric flu!
17th August – 2678 words, which is my good average amount for daily writing. It is something I would do usually when Henry is at school; it is still the summer holidays so it is amazing I did my average word count for the day whilst he was home!
The writing I have done this week has been mostly notes towards my leprechaun fantasy, including a title change and rewriting certain weak characters to make them have more of a part in the plot of the story, because there was a lot of weak characters, some of which I will be deleting entirely once this fourth or fifth draft is complete.
I have not included the words towards new story ideas I have had this week, there has been three new novel ideas I have had, but I can’t start work on them until all this other work is finished. I am not bragging or anything but I really do have a huge backlog of ideas piled up in a corner of this room and it is getting ridiculous because I know that more than half will never ever be started, let alone finished as there is just too many! I think I must be the only writer in the history of the world who has her own slush pile for what ideas might work and what are weak!
I am also weighing up something in my mind a lot recently. I love reading and writing fantasy, horror, sci-fi and dystopian stories – I especially love and am addicted to my vampire stories, my saga I am doing. But I am reading a lot about how a writer shouldn’t really have too many genres under their belt and this is disheartening to me because I love them all. I can’t release my vampires or my fantasy in particular and there are at least four dystopian stories I really want to write; it seems to me that there are only really two horrors I have planned, so I can release the horror I guess? Though I have been told by so many people that horror is more of my strength than other types of fiction I write.
I thought I could just write anything and be appreciated just as much, but the more I research the more I am finding that this isn’t the case, I could be found unprofessional and disloyal to my original fan base. Even to have just the three genres could be too many. I don’t really know what genre vampires can be put into, because I have found them in so many different sections at the bookstore and in the libraries that they have confused me – they are put into the dark romance, dark fantasy, horror, gothic and erotica sections – so which is it? Dystopian novels can be put into science fiction, horror or thriller sections too. Fantasy also has about three sections, dark fantasy, adult fantasy, family fantasy.
I am struggling to decide which ones to say goodbye to. My fantasies tend to be comedy family fantasies and some of them are dark, very dark and borderline horror again sometimes with small interjections of dark comedy.
My Dystopian stories have links with science fiction ideas, new fictional type sciences and leans towards some religious or mythological ideologies or prophecies.
My vampires are more complexed as the sagas cross into so many genres, science-fiction, horror, romance and fantasy as even my vampires mingle with fairies and so forth.
It is apparently great to be different, but not so different that you can’t define your genre.
If I can’t define my genre right now, how can any of my future agents and publishers?
It is both a depressing and eye opening reality of being a writer.
It makes me feel so caged.
I really love and adore my vampire novels so much and they are a huge part of who I am, but I am not ready to kiss goodbye my leprechauns, mermaids, giants and dragons either. Nor am I willing to kiss goodbye my ripped up worlds full of warlords and surviving citizens and their struggle for salvation and freedom.
So who is going to take me seriously when I post out my stories to agents in a year or two?
Do you think I worry too much? Please post what you think in comments below.
Thank you for reading.
I am going to fall off the edge of the world and I will not scream out your name.
I will not give you that attention, you are so very vain!
I am falling for me, because as I fall I am free
As I get to ignore you and your ways
As I keep falling into place
My fall is part of the jigsaw of life
I ignore you and your drama and strife
Because I have to take care of me
Because I can and you will see!
If you can’t cope with life and you enter my life, you will sail in troubled waters
If you can’t swim you’ll sink, perhaps our relationship you should rethink?
I am not going to be easy, when I’ve had a hard life
You’ve got to walk with me, or turn away to your light
I have bright days, good days too, I have than more often than you have a clue
I know I suffer and I shout it loud, but I have overcome things and for that I am proud
I am not disillusioned, I am not speaking lies, I have worked hard to live and to thrive
So when I don’t handle your bullshit, think why should I? Then you should quit, because if the load is too heavy for you, then you don’t have the right to make me carry it too
I have my own baggage, I don’t want yours
I want a new life, with golden calm warm shores
I don’t want to dig another person’s grave; I don’t want to be your emotional slave
I want a life where things go smooth, where life is lived, not thought through
I want a life where action is key, a life where I am happy and ultimately free
So don’t bring me down because you can’t cope, because you think you know me when in fact you don’t
So don’t sit there and whine and moan, when I am out working things out and leaving you alone
I don’t wallow for long my friend, I work it out, I learn how to mend
So should you
You really should
Because living this way, is very good
Don’t offload your baggage to others if you want to be happy, if you want to live happily, change this habit snappily
It’s in your hands, not some chosen saviours, it’s in your hands and in your behaviours
So learn to ride alone in your emotional rides, learn it now and you will rise
You deny me of health
You deny me of wealth
You deny me of friendship and love and games
You deny me of faith, you deny me of hope
You deny me of living and you drive me insane
That’s why I left you
That’s why I am gone
That’s why you won’t see me from hereon
That’s why I rant and that’s why I rave
You denied me of life, the things that I craved
So now I have gone, I will piece things together
I will find my hope, faith, love and more
I will carry on, night and day
And I don’t care if your heart is so sore
For I am through with living for you and I live for you no more!
I am going around the bend in a world that believe it is free
Whenever religion exists freedom is something that cannot be
I choose a secular life, but still religion thrusts on
I am sick and tired of hearing the same songs
I need to be in a world where I’m free
But with religion, that cannot be
My essence is in pain
Being imprisoned drives it insane
This world has locked me in
It has accused me of sin
Yet I only came for sanctuary
I had no place to go
How can I ever tell it?
I don’t even know
I am locked in prison
But it’s for my own good
I am trapped here forever
Because I’m misunderstood
I hope I break free soon
I hope I’m not doomed
I hope I have a saviour
I feel so entombed
I need to spread my wings
And do ordinary things
Like being free and being me
And all my yearnings
I hope I can leave this world
I hope it’s heard my song
I want to leave
To stay I’ll grieve
I hope it sees it’s wrong
But for now all I can do is wait
I hope it’s not my fate
To stay not leave or I will grieve
Forever and a day
I need freedom
I need my family
I need my friends
And I will never leave them ever again
I want freedom
Please let me leave
And retrieve my life before I came here
You know I need them
I need to go
How do I show, that I am innocent?
And that you’ve got me all wrong?
I need my freedom
I need my freedom
I need my freedom
Musings and books from a grunty overthinker
Listen to your inner self..it has all the answers..
True wealth is the wealth of the soul
Throwing my soul into the cosmos.
Work by Rain Alchemist
The fate of two worlds is decided by a few
The poetry of ineptitude.
But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for
I'm on a life changing journey to 40. There will be ups, there will be downs. I'm like a roller coaster but with more agoraphobia.