Tag Archives: Goth
A word to hexers, haters and jealous people in general
I am starting to take up art again, this time with an idea to try and make a living from it in a few months’ time, by then I would have developed friends in art and a little more self confidence in my painting work.
I am still sick, that is something that will never change, in fact recently I have been told it could get much worse, but I am trying hard to pull through and make some kind of a life for myself despite all of the bad mojo trying to pull me down every once in a while, you would think it would have something better to do than to concentrate on picking on me, but never mind, they love me so much they just can’t stop thinking about me, which in a dark and psychotic way is kind of nice of them to think so much of me, I don’t think anyone else does to be honest, which makes them my greatest lover I suppose?
Yes, recently I have started to believe I am cursed, but then what do you expect from someone who is both spiritual and a lover of horror movies? I’ve had such a long lasting run of bad luck with my health and personal life that I had to eventually come to the conclusion I have pissed off one too many witches during my life, for simply existing. Lol
Anyway on a more serious note, it is true; I do believe the above statement.
Despite this, I have to admire them for wanting to be involved in my life so much. Hate can be as deep as love and just as obsessive. In a strange kind of way, hate and love are the same thing, as you spend so much time thinking about the things you hate, like you do with special person you actually love, you give it the same attention, sometimes you even neglect the ones you actually love in favour of spending your time thinking more of the ones you hate. It’s a strange kind of world when you think about it.
So when all is said and done, I am quite flattered of the attention I am getting, no matter how abysmal it makes my life. I sort of feel sorry for the person who hates me to such a degree, because although I do not believe in karma, I do believe that you always reap what you sow and I believe in the sins of the father, despite not being a religious person personally. So in a manner, it is not me they are cursing, but their own children; which is painfully sad for me, to think about.
Despite these setbacks, I will try, no matter how much I cry in pain each day with my ailments, as I do cry – so do please, enjoy that statement dear haters as I am sure you will, I will try and get along in my life and make the best I can of the cards you are dealing for me. With a glad and happy heart, I will drag myself through the Hell you are creating for me and I will revel in any successes I may have in the future, whilst you are still sitting back on your posteriors, wishing that you had a taste of my supposed glorious life still. Well by all means, you are welcomed to having a full three course meal of my life, if you so wish for it, you are welcomed to it and I really do hope that you choke on it.
My poems are so morbid, but when I am in my depressions I can’t seem to be able to write anything else other than all of this negative dribble and the more I am around other negative people, the more dribble I write.
No offence for those who are currently in my life, not all of you are negative, in fact some of you can be very uplifting and I don’t think you really realise your value to me.
I am trying very hard to keep this blog active again and to come a little away from poetry a bit and concentrate on the intended theme of the blog – fantasy.
I have also thought about posting more regular pictures of my art, sketches and nature photography.
I have recently joined as an inactive member to a new website I discovered called Curensea.com
The site is like DeviantArt crossed with Twitter, you post your creative endeavours, whatever they may be onto the site and give and receive opinions for it with the exchange of points or credits which can in turn become real money at the end of the money dependent upon how many tokens you receive that month. The people’s messages are usually based on constructive criticism to help improve you in your chosen creative path – it is not meant to be destructive and should not be considered destructive at all if the criticisms are not to your favour.
Though I am currently inactive, that is my choice as at the moment life on the financial front are on tenterhooks for me, I need to get some advice about this as I don’t know if getting the tokens and being paid per month is considered self-employment or gift money as far as HM customs are concerned.
I also wanted to add another section to the blog based on something I have been trying to work really hard on in the last 2yrs – cosmic ordering and positive thinking. Despite my woeful interludes with poetry online, I have quite a positive outlook on life in general, but like a true manic depressive I can go from really cheerful, happy-clappy summer camp rep to Wednesday Addams in a blink!
I am also learning a lot more about the Science Fiction genre too, so there might be some experiments with that someday soon too. I know I have done some sci-fi art already with soft pastels.
My vampires are what makes me, me
They are a part of me, you see
There are not unkind or something to fear
To me they are something to cheer
They are me
My vampires are mine you see
I will love them from here to eternity
Recently received books and movies via gifts or personal purchase have been;
Clash of the Titans DVD the 2010 version with Liam Neeson
Blue Planet II a hardback book
Paul O’Grady’s “country life” hardback book
Raising the Dead: The Men Who Created Frankenstein by Andy Dougan (gift from nephew to me)
RHS What Plant Where Encyclopaedia by DK Publishing
Hobgoblins–The Secret Histories by Ari Berk (A gift to my son from his best-friend but I read it first)
The Box-set of The Hunger Games DVDs
All of these came into my house in the month of December 2017.
Other purchases or gifts I feel match fantasy or horror are…
Quite a few different types of gemstones, especially hypersthene, a tigers eye pendulum, a lapis lazuli gemstone for Henry, A black onyx pendulum, a Rhodonite pendulum for my Henry, an apatite, a large rose quartz the size of a small hot crossed bun and last but not least a hematite thumb ring.
I bought incense and a new incense charcoal burner in the shape of a Chinese lotus flower. The scents were vanilla, cinnamon, patchouli, dragon’s blood, rose and lily. I can’t burn these things when Henry is at home; I have to do them when he is at school and open all the windows afterwards because he is prone to headaches.
I was gifted a fairy house garden ornament in the shape of a mushroom at Christmas from my husband Paul and Mrs Tiggy Winkle acting as the old woman in the shoe ornament and a wolf trinket box. I do like weird stuff. He bought me a good sized wooden box too, the shape and style of a pirates treasure chest and it fits all of my gemstones in perfectly with room for half again! It really does look like a real pirate’s chest now with all of those gemstones in it.
I am a big kid, anything remotely regarding fantasy or horror and I like it. Depends what it is however but my house certainly shows what I love in every nook and cranny! I am not averse to having marvels cushion on my sofa for example!
It is difficult when friends and relatives visit because they presume I allow Henry to rule the roost, but the look on their faces when I say “No, it’s for me, I wanted it there”. They do ask occasionally whether or not I should put such things in my bedroom? I can’t put everything there! Besides, what is wrong with a marvel cushion? A soft toy of the joker on my PC desk? 3 snow globes on the bookshelves? Four different types of calendars in the living room, Gothic, minions, marvel, wolves and then there is DC comics in the dining room with an RSPB one. The first of every month is interesting for me, I like guessing which 1 of the many calendars around the house my husband will forget to change! Me and Henry take bets with fruit pastilles!
I love the fact that I can be so free to be more me, with Paul lately. He always wanted me to be me, but I was never confident enough to make it reflect in my home and for the first 5yrs living together it was all cream and browns around the house to make it look more like a normal household – yeurgh. But now it’s green, yellow, with the occasional quirky wallpaper. In the living room on just one wall there is wallpaper that looks like pastel version of the trees depicted in the movie The Lorax. In the bathroom it is mostly white tiled but we are going to buy dolphin and coral wallpaper next month. The kitchen is kitted out with tiles a harlequin would love, also next month we are buying wallpaper for just one side of the kitchen and that will be in the style of Mediterranean food. Our bedroom is royal purple and soon I will be adding cerise to the other side of the wall, I also wanted to get door murals to make the doors of the house look like medieval castle doors!
I refuse to grow up.
Anyway, have a HAPPY NEW YEAR all of you ❤
I have been watching Vampire Diaries season one this week, I have just finished episode fourteen and I have to say, I am a little disappointed with the lack of vampire loyalty in the plot. Vampires seem to kill more vampires than they do people in this show and I have to ask, what is that all about? From what I know of vampires if they are not solitary creatures they are pack animals and I think that the writers here had a hard time trying to decide which type of vampire they wanted to write about. It is like they cannot decide whether they want a solitary vampire, a vampire twosome that has run away from the pack, or a pack style vampire story.
That’s my observation so far with the series.
Another observation is this, when are we going to get a TV series that concentrates purely on vampires rather than mortal/vampire romances and also throwing in werewolves, witches and other things into the equation too? When is this going to happen? When are we going to get a TV series where vampires have vampire relationships and there are no other supernatural beings but them?
I am waiting on that…
I love fantasy and yes, there are many popular fantasy TV series and books I have never ever experienced in any format; they include ‘The Game of Thrones’, ‘Season two of Once Upon a Time’, ‘Grimm’, ‘Star Wars’, ‘The Shannara Chronicles’, ‘Supernatural’, ‘The Vampire Diaries’ and episode four and beyond of ‘The 100’ to name but a few of those missed experiences.
Along with those television series there are several books I have never read too and they are; all the above that have novelizations. Book four and beyond of ‘The Wizard of Oz’ series of books, the third book and beyond of Anne Rice’s ‘Vampire Chronicles’, ‘The DragonLance Series’ and ‘Goosebumps’ to name but a few there too.
Now, I am currently trying to make amends for all of that. I am currently re-reading the first book of ‘The Vampire Chronicles’ by Anne Rice with the aim to read right through all the chronicles by this time next year – next week this will be put on hold right after I have finished ‘Interview with a vampire’ because I have ordered from my local library a trilogy from Michael Moorcock ‘The Eternal Champion’ because I am curious about a symbol I am rather fond of which apparently originates from these novels.
I am also watching some of the above mentioned television series, back to back, one to three per night – the ones I have started with is the box-set I have bought of ‘The Vampire Diaries’. You are probably wondering why I have bought something that expensive if I have never watched one of the episodes first. Well, it’s about vampires; I know I will love it. Its touch and go in regards to Twilight but I guess because it has vampires I might find it tolerable, who knows… Twilight is another vampire movie I have never watched and I am a die-hard vampire fan, go figure. Well I was too busy to keep up to date with my vampires for about a decade, so I am forgiven right?
The vampire Diaries has me hooked by the way; I have watched five episodes this week so far. I am scrutinising the whole thing because I specialise in vampires in my novels and I don’t want to clash too much with anyone and I was nervous at first because something in the vampire diaries has clashed with my novels (the corvid) and the fact that a few of my vampires have the ability to roam the day too.
I am also hooked because Damon gets my hormones going… but let’s not talk about that, we’re talking about vampires in general and fantasy, not my hormones on some women’s health site.
So, yes, I am happy to find that this series hasn’t brutalised vampires too much for me like True Blood has, I feel True Blood went too far in de-romanticising vampires. I was distraught about that. In the True Blood series you couldn’t tell the vampires apart from anything you see in a normal human to human slasher movie, werewolf movie or zombie movie, vampires in my opinion are much more far removed than those other movie types and I found it hard to chew.
Although being a horror fan I did love the brutality, but I was too angry that it was caused by vampires drunk on blood, dripping with blood and acting like psychotic corpses. A lot of people will argue with me that vampires are just that ‘psychotic corpses’ but I will deny that is what vampires are, vampires to me, love very deeply and have a gentle demeanour about them, they are not rabid animals.
So, yes, I am returning to vampires. I am returning to my love for them and with this reunion come rediscovering my hidden identity again. I feel like I am filling up the hollowness in me and I am feeling more like who I was meant to be, rather than some obscure faint shadow.
I don’t do short stories of vampires unfortunately. I linger too much on my vampire novels that I am ashamed to say they are epic sized. I can’t stop adding things to them. I think ‘War and Peace’ will have nothing on one of my vampire stories.
So that’s it for today, more to come tomorrow.
Thank you for reading and do post a comment below.
Anne Stokes is one of my favourite Gothic artists; if I had money I would try and decorate my house with more of her work. As a Christmas present in 2012 my nephew Carl and his daughters gave me a 1000 piece puzzle of Aracnafaria, one of Anne Stokes masterpieces. I finished the puzzle in just 10 days. I am so proud of it, it’s still wrapped in cling film around a board that I had intended to use as a backboard in order to eventually frame it, but I have never got around to doing that and it’s stored on the top of my wardrobe.
As an artist I aspire to do work as great as Anne Stokes, however, in my own opinion it’s just an airheaded dream, because I am nowhere as good as Anne Stokes and I specialise mostly in what I think are cartoon dragons and animals.