I hold the moon and billions of suns in my hands, I love their endless glowing.
They shine gold and silver and blue and red and white and everything is on a wing, floating in my hands
And only I can hear them sing
I am veiled in midnight blue; I hold these wonders in my hands
I whisper life to everything, it is I who commands
I drift off gently in my sleep, careful not to drop them
My beautiful little jewels of life
I each day attend
The world is but a fragile sphere floating in the endless black sea of space
More fragile than the thinnest glass when it has been knocked out of place
Yet within this fragile sphere of ours, we are set spinning into space
With no inclination of how we float, we just do and in such grace
Every mortal life is precious
Every mortal life unique
Every mortal life is special and their life’s end is always bleak
Yet we keep on spinning, in the airless space
We keep on turning with such gentle grace
And we keep on believing
That we know nothing of what we are
Yet we keep on invading
Shouting truth to justify our war
And we sometimes die for nothing
But some they die in just
And some they keep on believing
Because they simply must
That there is meaning to all of this
This fragility in which we live
But no one has an answer
No one has one to give
So we keep on spinning, up there in the blackened space
We keep on hoping that our life will not be erased
And we keep on dreaming of things we do not understand
And we keep on searching, because that’s the way of man
I needed a pep talk on the NaNoWriMo website tonight, because I have never written thousands of words down towards a novel without revising each paragraph for weeks at a time. I am not used to word vomit. But I am doing that with NaNoWriMo because the motto there is to ‘just write’ and that’s what I am doing and I am finding that my story is unemotional and non-descriptive and generally trashy I have to say. But, fellow Nanos told me, it’s meant to be like that initially, you’re just piecing things together, it’s not meant to be perfect first hand. It’s supposed to be a little more than planning stage, it’s still part of the planning, and it doesn’t start to look like the story until draft two or three or four.
So this got me thinking. I started to think that you know what? If they are right and professionals do write like this on a consistent basis then a novel is like Frankenstein’s monster. You get an arm, a leg, a hand, etc. and you sew it all together and then with each new draft you make after NaNoWriMo you are trying to find the secrets to life, eventually you will get to the grand finale, you will get that lightning bolt of life you need for your monster, the story and he shall come alive! I hope my monster comes alive by the end of this anyway!
Good Luck to all who are doing NaNoWriMo this year!
I need to wake from this mortal state
This mess this existence of pure pain
I cannot let it drive my soul insane
I need to be freed from these bonds of flesh
I need to go where life is fresh
Plain and pure
White not black
Light not dark
Life is stark
I cannot wait
For this endless fate
To trip away
Or fade and flay
I cannot keep it this way
I am mortal and I say nay
To pain, to suffering, to hunger and fear
I cannot just tolerate and sit here
I am more than just flesh and blood
For so many years this life I’ve trudged
I cannot wander anymore
I cannot wait to see what’s in store
I need to go
Out of this world
I need release
I need the dream-world
The deserts are for the wretched, the fading and the numb
The deserts are for hiding if you are lowlife scum
The deserts they will make you parched
The deserts they will kill
The deserts are not friendly
And they never ever will
The deserts are for the lonely
The deserts are for the damned
The deserts are not for sheep
And the deserts are not for lambs
The desert is and always be
A place to test your mortality
A place to die
A place to cease
A place for hindrance
Do not go there
Not with someone
It’s dry as bone
The desert is quite empty
Of that you can be assured
The desert is a death trap
Your death will be procured
But if you insist
Then goodbye my friend
Into the sandy depths you’ll lie
For I am done convincing you
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
copyright Tina Cousins FantasyFed 2016
The cloud rises, twists and twirls around the forbidden mortal world
Hues of blue and grey and white forbids the passage to their sight
Unseen we are the hidden ones, forbidden to enter, forbidden to come
No one knows we are here, their cries of sadness we often hear
Forbidden to answer their prayers and cries
Forbidden to help them, unless they die
We cannot go to take their pain, we can only watch and hear in vain
We cannot cross through their gate
We can only watch their terrible fate
We are the gods they pray will come
But it’s not our world, it is not our sun
We cannot control what goes on there
Only guide them to the heavenly stair
We are forbidden to touch and be, where the mortals live and breath
We are the watchers of their endless plight
The protectors of eternal light
We are your warriors we are your knights
We tuck you into dreamtime at night
We are not evil, we are not cruel
It is not our place to rule mortals
We aren’t heartless, we aren’t depraved
We are there and ready to save
You are mortals and we are not
We are the ones that you’ve forgot
We are tender and we are true
And we’ll always be there for you
But we cannot enter through the mortal gate
We can only watch your fate
And lend a hand to the path of death
At the time of your last breath
So carefully we will take your hand
And take you to our immortal lands
Where life has set you free to be
Another watcher like me
I have been feeling a little better about writing since I have been writing more often my morning pages on a website known as 750words.com
I had written 24 days in a row before becoming seriously ill with such a bad ear infection that I needed to go to A+E and was sent directly to the ENT department in Coventry and was given ear wicks; I was told that I came very close to being admitted in hospital and having to have antibiotics intravenously, the infection came on very quickly, I’ve never known an infection to react to my body so fast and it even went into my jaw and prevented me from eating solids for days.
Anyway, after 10 days of antibiotics I got back into my morning pages again, this time I have been doing them 7 days, I am confident that the inner writer/artist has reawaken, the desire to be creative has come back. This is amazing because for the last three years I had thought I would never write much again, I lost interest in it, I didn’t enjoy it anymore, but now I look forward to waking up just so I can write.
Today I have written over 600 words without doing my morning pages to awaken me into the mood to write, which for me is a huge progress.
I have decided to take note of my previous post here and to do at least one post each day, even if it has nothing to do with a poem or story, just a little update about my life. Because it is my duty to feed my fans the stuff they love.
I have chosen to start as from tomorrow, posting about my thoughts on various mythological creatures. There will be at least one post per day henceforth, however, there may be more than one post per day, depends on what happens, but ultimately there will be at least one a day.
Thank you for staying loyal to my blog.
Just sit and write if you want to be a writer. Guess what? When you publish anything on your blog you are a published writer, did you know that? As stupid as it sounds, I never knew this until a friend told me this online earlier today.
Yes, anything you put on your blog is considered “published”, so you must congratulate yourself right now for being a published writer already. Anyone who tells you otherwise doesn’t fully understand the ways that the internet can assist someone to actually make a career for themselves.
If you have followers, you shouldn’t look at them as mere readers, they are your fans and you should take care of your fan base and make sure that they don’t get bored by waiting for new material for too long. All of this has been said to me by a good creative/artist friend, things I had never thought of myself and believed them.
I am motivated by the fact that I have hundreds of followers, I am very sad for them that I’ve neglected to give them more material that they obviously loved enough to follow my blog.
I feel ashamed of myself for letting them down.
The wakeup call I got from my friend today has made me realise how popular I am and how much I have succeeded just by simply having a blog.
It is my duty to my followers (my fans) to give them regular new material as often as possible.
As a writer we are entertainers, it is our duty to keep our fans entertained, if we fail to do this, we fail them and even more so ourselves because we will then lose that vital fan base. So keep your blog active. This is something I am definitely going to do now and this awakening is so important to me that I am seriously thinking about printing this post out and putting it on my wall next to my desk!
I hope that this post has helped other bloggers realise how successful they’ve become too, without realising it.