Tag Archives: madness

Bog Monster

Creeping out the boggy marshes
Gurgling its cries of death
See its eyes a glowing
See its fangs and feel its breath
Its hair is made of algae
It’s skin as slimy as a frog
See it creeping towards you
The monster of the bog
Though you are paralysed in fear
Though your heart tells you to flee
Though your chest is thumping hard
You can only stand and see
Death creeping closer to you and me
A little sigh of triumph comes from its muddy lips
It touches your legs so softly with its iron fingertips
Its grip gets tighter and tighter
Your voice makes desperate calls
But it’s too late it has you
And into the bog you’re pulled
Though the monster has spared your friend
The spell is broken down
Your friend runs towards the bog to save you
But they’re too late, you’ve drowned
Their cries are heard throughout the night
The monster has taken your life
Your friend sits at the bank of the bog mourning
Stabs at the bog with his knife
But they don’t find the monster in there
It has gone to the deeper depths of Hell
It has gone down there as soon as it had got you
And taken you as well
Your friend he threw himself into madness
No one believed his story
No one ever will, you know
The ending was far too gory
Instead they locked him up and away
Never to see the light of day
And always it is this way
With the monster of the bog
And now this story is said and done
And now you will carry on with your life
As though this story was never true
And of course, you don’t believe in after life
But his ghost is watching from that bog
To ward off others just like you
Keep away from this monster’s bog
Because the stories of course are true

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Filed under Poems A - C

17th October 2016 – wanderings

Grey stone lay beneath my feet.  My feet are cold and bare as the fog gently surrounds me in the frosty night.  I look on in the patchy darkness, but my vision is obscured by the fog more and more.  I settle myself down upon a rock by the big oak tree and I ponder life and my existence. 

I miss you more and more. 

Your death has made me hollow and changed me in a way that I don’t understand.  People think that I am strange; I certainly have developed strange habits.  I don’t take mourning you easily.

People tell me that as time goes by the loss of you will hurt less, or at least I’d learn to cope.  But at the moment all I can think of is that it was only last week I saw you last, each day that goes on is more and more torture for me to bear, I can’t imagine not seeing you for a month, a year, a decade, half a century or however long I shall live.

Perhaps my new found madness shall kill me?  If not that then the cold will.

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Filed under Wandering In My Mind

Horror and mental illness

One or two of my poems have been considered to be short stories in my mind by me, I thought this was enough – however my husband and a friend of mine mentioned to me yesterday that some of my poems are moreish and therefore they feel that I should work on making them into a larger story preferably novel sized piece.

My husband is quite persistent about two of the poems I’ve agreed would make a better larger story, therefore he is straddling me to the grindstone and making me get to work on them because I’ve been procrastinating on my leprechaun comedy for eleven years now and I am losing enthusiasm for it.

I’ve been advised by a friend too, that my fantasy work is good, but my horror is better as I seem to write more freely and graphically, which shows that this is where my genre should be. Funny enough I originally was a horror writer, I only entered the realms of fantasy within the last decade in order to get a wider audience and I was mistaken with the idea that I would be more free to do my own thing – in horror you can do that, in most other genres there does seem to be a general protocol.

I tend to read fantasy and horror but usually horror prevails as a reading choice for me, so therefore I know that I am more experienced with horror; I also have a sadistic, black sense of humour and a lust for shocking people; which I guess makes the genre perfect for me.

I know a lot of people are getting tired of vampires but, they are my favoured creature. However, I do love writing about mental illness (considering I have experience there too) and so writing about the horrors of the mind comes easy for me – particularly if it is regarding cruelty and isolation.

The novel I am attempting to write whilst I put my leprechaun comedy on hold is based around the self-harming and mental illness of a young girl who lives within an asylum and how she got there and why, the book will concentrate on the horrors of the occult, social services, abuse and isolation. There is more to the story, but I am not going to give things away, there would be no fun in that now would there?

So forgive me if the blog is neglected for a while, my husband really wants this story written and I am looking at my previous work with fresher eyes and I am very enthusiastic about this one. Who knows, perhaps it will become finished enough for me to have the confidence to post it up for YouWriteOn.com?

Ciao for now.

 

 

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Filed under About my work

Life becomes a parody

When madness steps into your life, there is no escape for you

Life becomes a parody of which you are in full in tune

Nobody can understand the way you talk and move

Nobody is sure of your behaviour of which they disapprove

Complacently you play along to their supposed normalities

But whatever you do for others, it still leaves them ill at ease

To which there is no point you see, to become like them at all

For nobody in reality is very sane at all

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Filed under Poems J - L

Merry Christmas welcome to my world

Merry, merry Christmas

Merry, merry Christmas

Happy, happy New Year

Happy, happy New Year

It’s festive time

It’s festive time

It’s Christmas time

Merry Christmas, welcome to my world

Snow and ice, sugary spice

And having a good time

Bring me the red wine

And sing in time

To the very merry song

We’ll dance and play and sing all day

Dingy, dingy, ding dang dong

Hear children dance around a snowman, singing this very song

Did you hear that Santa came, golly what a bing bang bong

On his sleigh so high, he flew right by

Dropping presents through

Our chimney tops, golly what a hoo ha hoo

Sing along, sing along, sing along to this Christmas song

Sing along, sing along, sing along to this Christmas song

Merry, merry Christmas

Merry, merry Christmas

Happy, happy New Year

Happy, happy New Year

Merry, merry Christmas

Merry, merry Christmas

Happy, happy New Year

Happy, happy New Year

Merry, merry Christmas

Merry, merry Christmas

Happy, happy New Year

Happy, happy New Year

It’s festive time

It’s festive time

It’s Christmas time

Merry Christmas, welcome to my world

This song I thought was very Christmassy but also very annoying and I wouldn’t blame anyone for hating it if it ever got out into the music industry – it’s like crazy frog meets the Brady bunch.  But I liked how it sounded in my head, but even to me its creator it became grating.

In fact, so much so I was laughing hysterically through the last few verses and grinning like I belong in an asylum.  Hoped you liked it better than me *grins*.

 

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Filed under Poems M - O, Songs

welcome to my golden palace

I am leaving this sphere, going home to my dreams

I am going back to my reality, where my happiness streams

I have nothing to fear, for everything’s mine

I’m going to a place where the sun always shines

Yeah, I’m free

To roam as I please

Nothing will harm me; fear has no place to go

Everything’s to my expectations, the world’s my chateau

I can deny your entry if you cause me pain

I will not allow anybody to drive me insane

Here I’m free

I’m free, to do as I really want to and please

Serve me now, drink from my chalice

Welcome to my golden palace

This is my world of dreams

Where everything is as I royally deem

Drink my cup and bathe in the light

Why don’t you lay with me and bask in sunlight?

I am watching your world through half opened eyes

And I can’t believe, no can’t believe the pain and the lies

Why do you bask in hate and bask in lust and bask in coldness?

Why do you do nothing and act like you care less?

I believe in something more, than your impetuous plans

Oh come to me, yes come to me, and oh please hold my hand

Come bask in my light boy

Come into my arms and be free from the horrid noise of hate and pain

Come to me, come to me, come to my love again

I will show you peace and love, I’m your dove, please don’t go insane

Touch me, kiss me over again, and let me mend your broken dreams

I need to heal your aching wounds and please always listen to me

And not your horrid inner screams

Just touch me now and I will take you far away, you can be redeemed

I am leaving this sphere, going home to my dreams

I am going back to my reality, where my happiness streams

I have nothing to fear, for everything’s mine

I’m going to a place where the sun always shines

Yeah, I’m free

To roam as I please

Nothing will harm me; fear has no place to go

Everything’s to my expectations, the world’s my chateau

I can deny your entry if you cause me pain

I will not allow anybody to drive me insane

Here I’m free

I’m free, to do as I really want to and please

Serve me now, drink from my chalice

Welcome to my golden palace

This is my world of dreams

The words came into my head faster than I could type, this was literally done in less than five minutes; so I apologize if to some people this song makes no sense. 

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Filed under Poems V - Z

human mask

They are whispering cryptic messages in my ear

They tell me of promises

I treasure their words and I hold them dear

But are they real?  I am insane, I fear

 

I’m growing into something different

Something not of this world

I’ve never been human they say

Slowly their secrets unfurl

 

The unfurling isn’t quick enough

I feel I’m quite unique

But unless I’ve found the proof about it

My futures looking bleak

 

What am I?  I whisper back to them

But they do not yet reply

They just tell me of the things I’m to do right here

Their evasiveness makes me cry

 

I’m living in two different worlds

Yet I am trapped in one

Confused of what’s real or not

This isn’t at all fun

 

How I wonder if I’ll die in this shell or not?

How often I sit back and think if all this knowledge is rot

Do I have a magic self, that’s hiding in mortal light?

Or am I suffering from madness, a devil’s toy and delight?

 

Maybe I won’t ever know

Maybe I’ll be forgotten

But if all these things are not really real

Then that is flaming rotten

 

I don’t feel at home here on earth, not at all

I need to go home to the place I belong

And then I will feel tall

 

I need this magic to stay alive, I need that very life

For I cannot cope living within in a mask, my fake human life causes me strife

And the reality of madness cuts into me like several knives

I need my magic life

 

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Filed under Poems G - I

between worlds

I’m locked in my mind of complexity

How I feel lost in my eternity

Living between worlds I’m prosthetically

Living a lie in one and overwhelmed by tragedy

This world of man drives me insane you see

The world of hope still awaits for me

But does it exist oh please give a clue

For at the moment I’m lost and without a clue

To break free from mortal bonds will let me see

That my whole life is not a tragedy

But for now all I can do is grieve

For the life that’s lost and I wish I could flee

Oh I wonder where I belong

But till I find it, I’ll have to be strong again

To live in a world of lies

Until my soul is free and flies

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Filed under Poems A - C

We’ve found Stephanie

She was found in Preston, curled up all weary in the streets

I’ll take her home and wrap her in clean sheets

She’ll be safe with us, now we’ve found her

To Dundee we will take her

Our little lady, is a lost soul

We will help her out of her hellhole

We’re her family, though she doesn’t know

Her mind is gone, her sanity a shadow

A remnant of her former past

Her situation makes us aghast

For how did she get like this we ask?

Must be something terrible from her past

We do not know, for she was adopted                                                                                    

To care for her now is what we’ve opted

We will try and find her mind

The way we’ll do it, won’t be kind

But at least she has someone now

Someone who’ll act as her mind’s plough

We will bring her back to health

To help her find her former self

Our little Steffie we make our promise

And it is to keep

We will lay your head down on a soft pillow

Now you just rest and sleep

 

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Filed under Poems V - Z

Comforted by madness

I’m falling into insanity

It’s like a chasm that’s opened up beneath me

It’s dark, with fragments of light

But there’s no hope

As I am endlessly falling

I’m not Alice

I won’t enter wonderland

I didn’t follow a white rabbit to get here

But things around me, they seem queer

 

Nothing makes sense when you’re around sane people

They’re quite mad you know?

You must choose your words carefully

For you don’t know which place they’ll make you go

 

I’m troubled by the sane people

They won’t let me play

With fairies in the garden

Or meditate all day

 

They won’t let me forget I live in a boring humdrum world

They get upset quite fervently if I relish in dream-world

So secretly I slumber on, in my own little place

Whilst locked away silently, so I do not cause disgrace

 

I am lost in my own little world, wrapped in my mind

But I enjoy it very much, solace in it I find

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Poems A - C