Tag Archives: natural

What is luxury to me?

I have always loved reading books about cosmic ordering and creating your own reality and yet still I haven’t mastered my own mind enough to make the realities I want – happen.  I am not at all surprised at my financial status for two reasons, I am sick and don’t work and therefore live on benefit handouts, I do try and do something to help change this, but sometimes it can become too much to handle with all the daily symptom managing – also I am not at all surprised at my financial predicament because of another matter… the fact that I find money one of the biggest evils in the world, so therefore, it keeps away from me because of that mind-set.  Well that is what cosmic ordering experts would say anyway.

So it is my own fault for two reasons.  One I believe that money is a source of evil and two I am too sick therefore can’t work, therefore the universe adds more sickness to keep me in that reality.  It is pretty screwy stuff, but I actually believe it to be true, which makes it all the worse for me I guess?

I am in what I call a ground-hog day of sickness and poverty and I have the knowledge that my own beliefs can change that.  So, why can’t I favour money in a more benign light?  Because I would be lying to myself, that is why and for me, lying to my-self is an even worse evil.

I have always been by nature a very philanthropic person, therefore I have tried to think about who could benefit from my future wealth, when I get it?  There is always someone in need and I always want to help, but I am not a sucker for a sob story unless there is evidence for it first.  So I have tried to concentrate on benevolence regarding money, because as evil as money is, in the current social climate it can be a blessing for many.  I have another belief about finances too, whether or not it contradicts my former belief that money is evil or not, remains to be seen.  But I have always lived by this financial code of conduct (before benefits came into my life) that 33.3% of my earnings go to me and my needs, this includes bills and essentials and fun, 33.3% goes into savings and 33.3% is invested in some way.  Now to me an investment doesn’t have to go towards a personal gain for me, it can be an investment for a charity of which I will not benefit from – to me, it is a social investment, bettering the society I live in, I deem an investment.  Not many people can understand where I come from stating this, but to me it is quite simple, the more money you put into your local charities and amenities, the more you will benefit and future generations will benefit.  It is a shame people recoil so much from taxation and donating, they just don’t see how it can benefit their local area, and they can only see what benefits them, unfortunately they don’t always see it as a positive circle which could include them eventually.

Currently we live in a world where the idea of a no money system is a non-starter; as much as I hate it, I have to come to terms with it and work out a system for my-self which will make me and others around me happy.

I have never really wanted huge extravagances, but I have wanted comfort and happiness – I mean, who doesn’t?

To me a luxurious life would come across very basic, plain and simple to a lot of people of today.  My main desires for a happy and indulgent life is determined by how big a piece of land is that I will personally own in order to grow my own food, raise my own chickens and geese, build an adventure playground for my children, entertain guests with lovely BBQs or alfresco dinner parties, a very large area for rewilding, as I love wildlife and want to save it.  I have thought if I ever became rich that I would buy woodlands just to make them a nature reserve, stopping logging companies and housing from using the land. 

For me a luxurious life means I would be able to afford natural fibres for my clothing, I dislike all the plastic in my clothes.  I would be able to afford a very healthy allergen free semi-paleo diet – why semi-paleo?  I like legumes; I like vegan cheeses and gluten free grains that’s why.

My idea of true happiness is the ability to care for animals too.  To have the pets that I desire, though I will not be one of these horrific pet hoarders like most people who know me personally think I could be if my finances were better, I am not like that; I will never take on more than I can manage.  Despite my dreams about running a small holding or a farm, I know and realise it is just a dream, even for when I am better off, because I know my physical limitations, and unless I can afford staff to help me run things, then I can’t live exactly how I want to.

For me, luxury is being able to go out to town and choose something to eat without worrying about the cost.  Without worrying that my trip to town on a bus and a lunch would actually take half of my week’s food bill away – which it currently does, hence why I rarely see the doctor, despite needing to see them more often than I do.

Luxury also means that a zoo trip won’t be negotiated with Henry about whether or not, if we go to the zoo, we may not be able to go to the Severn Valley this year or have a birthday party, and to me luxury would mean that we can do it all that year and go to other places too, such a beach – we’ve never been to a beach as a family before.  I haven’t been to a beach since I was fifteen years old!  I have only visited the beach twice in my entire life!

I have never had a proper holiday, the only thing that came close to it was a four day camping trip in Yorkshire with some spiritual friends, but that is the only real holiday I have ever had.  I am curious about a few places in the world, but I wouldn’t say I have a strong desire to travel; I am very boring regarding this.  I get home sick by day four; I can’t be away from home for more than four days at a time.  I am a home stayer and lover.  For some reason people think this makes me a recluse?

Unfortunately the places I would like to go to are so remote, it will take four days to get to them, I have researched, and so by the time that I would have got to those places, I would be pining for home again.  I find it a struggle to be in hospital for more than three days.  I know that isn’t exactly a holiday, or a hotel, but the ten day stay at hospital when I was having Henry was very emotionally difficult for me that they felt the depression was postpartum and very nearly kept me in longer because of it, until I had almost broken down and burst into tears explaining how I have never coped being away from home for too long.  Then they had to release me.

I think I know why I am like that.  In my past when I have been away from home for more than four days, I have come home to big changes that were always uncomfortable.  Also after around two weeks of being somewhere something strange happens mentally, where I feel like that new place is a new home and unless I leave that place quickly, I will start to pine for that too.  There are many places in the UK I pine for, even to this day, because of stays longer than four days.  Not holidays, family visits that were prolonged.  I don’t include a six week stay in Cheshire with an aunt as a holiday, funnily enough.  As a child being sent to this person and that all the time for varying lengths, I guess I have a nomadic heart, but I have always been bought back to base as it were.  I get itchy feet, but I don’t like to stay away for long.  It is all rather difficult to explain.

But generally the longer I stay somewhere the more I will pine for my actual home, then the longer I stay in that place, the more likely I will start to pine for that, like home.  Basically going somewhere new will be difficult for around ten to fifteen days, and then I readjust and think that this new place is another home.  I have homes everywhere in my head, but none of them are actually my homes.

Shrugs* I am mad I guess?

But yes, I miss a lot of places.  I miss a few places in London – Burnt Oak, Hammersmith, Hendon, Brent Cross, Wembley, Barnet, Finchley, Whetstone, Enfield, Northolt, Kingsbury, Edgware, Portobello Road, Camden Town, Kentish Town, Swiss Cottage and Kensington.  I miss Luton (I know who misses that?  Well – me), Dunstable, Aylesbury, Leighton Buzzard, Wickford, Basildon, Margate, Crewe, Leeds, Market Drayton, Telford, Manchester, Halifax, Sheffield, Sunderland, Scarborough, Derby, Seven Sisters, Maidstone, Barnstaple, Battle and whatever that little village on the Welsh border was (I never knew I was a kid when I was there for a while) same as a small village in the Scottish Highlands too, Crawley, Radlett and Slough.  Imagine if I did have houses in all those places, I would need to be rich just for them!  It would be ridiculous to purchase houses in places like these though and selfish.  But for me there would need to be three homes in specific locations, because of how long I know I would stay in specific areas for, because to me they are too much like home.  A house somewhere in Barnet or Hammersmith & Chelsea, London; and a house somewhere in West Yorkshire or Cheshire, as well as something suburban or semi-rural around Rugby, Warwickshire.  I could stay at either of these areas until I start pining for the other, then, instead of constantly pining for places I can’t even afford to visit for the day, like I do now.

I make do with wherever I am put though.  I get on despite my pining’s.  I don’t mean to sound depressing or down-hearted, but I have got used to disappointments and discomfort, as my mother always made sure I never felt settled in any regard in life.  Therefore, she has made me resilient to change and adaptable to most hurtful and life changing situations – by making certain things happen so regularly I eventually became numb to certain types of sentimentality.  In a bad way too, in one particular thing; that I have learned that nothing is permanent, I must always expect things to change drastically and quickly, things such as people dying.  Don’t get too attached to organic things such as people or animals, because they can die.  I will mourn an animal more readily than a human, despite how much I may deeply love that human and I have always been afraid of losing Paul or Henry, because, I am not known to cry for human passing’s.  It could be because my mother was very aloof about it all when I was growing up and if I was to shed a tear she would berate me and make me feel humiliated for being sad about a person’s death.  It could also be because I am clairsentient, a strong clairvoyant.

I don’t usually talk about that part of me.  It weirds people out, but it is a true part of me.

Some people when they die can take ages to visit in the spirit world, some people don’t understand that.  There is a cleansing process for spirits when they first die, some can visit us literally within minutes of dying because they don’t have that much baggage, others can take years before they start visiting the living again.  My grandma, Dolly, took nearly nine years before she started visiting me, whereas grandad only took a few weeks.

But generally to me, luxury is comfortable natural fibre clothes, the ability to travel across the UK whenever I like without financial strain, to eat a healthy diet, to have a lot of family time, gardening organically and for wildlife on a large scale, the financial ability to fund continued learning in desired subjects, charities and pets.  That’s all I really want.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Opinions and beliefs

British Landscapes

Willows lining the rivers, poplar lining the fields
A dream of British landscapes
A joy that overfills
Long and winding roads
And undulating fields and hills
Brings peace to mankind
And many summer thrills
When evening comes to settle
See the sunset in the sky
Dreaming of British landscapes
The beauty makes us sigh

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Filed under My inspirations, Poems A - C

somethings in nature are obscure

The field is green, the sky is blue and yet I never tire of you
Nature fine and nature pure
Often I’ll find things that are obscure
Day to day there’s new things to find
And none of them are to be claimed for none of them are mine
Each breeze and petal, leaf and stone
Are not mine to touch, move or own
They are just there, for us to find
But most of us are almost blind
We try to own nature in any way
Take and take and do not play
I love nature, leave it be
Let all nature remain free

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Filed under Poems S - U

Vibrations

The earth has a heart that is pounding

I feel her vibrations under foot

I know she is living that doesn’t astound me

I always knew that she was forsook

Humanity complains when her essence they have drained

All her goodness, all her charms, all her blood

But when will they realize that she is much more, than wide oceans, sky, creatures and mud?

This is a song in progress, I will add more to it another time but at the moment it’s a little hard to concentrate when your 3yr old is running a temperature and is tetchy about everything.  I think this is going to be a great song, I have the tune in my head and everything and it’s really frustrating that I don’t have Cu-base anymore to help me put it down in music – as I’ve said numerous times before I can’t read or write music.

I don’t know why but when I thinking about this song I was thinking of at least two singers who’d it fits vocally.  Those were Ed Sheeran and maybe Gotye, I know if this song ever got sold that it might not be those who’ll sing it, but I think it would suit their voice.  Even Lady GaGa might like this as an Earth awareness album someday?  But who knows, I think she does better when she writes her own stuff anyway.

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Filed under Poems V - Z

forests and campaigning

I am meandering through the mossy forest

The lichen clings to the trees

A little micro garden

They are sheltered by the leaves

The smell of earth is fervent

The trees are rough to touch

The energy I feel here

I love so very much

Though you cannot see them

They are everywhere

Billions of lives are flowing

In the forests welfare

How gently they crawl upon the earth

How delicate their façade

And though you cannot see it

They work so very hard

This is life in the forest green

This is how it flows

And each and every day I walk

Through the emerald groves

I know each and every footstep

I know each and every bird

I know my way through the forest

You can trust my every word

When the little stars are shining

I can see them, not

For I am roaming through the forest

So the sky I have forgot

My friends are Mrs Badger and little sooty mole

I find their company pleasant, I find their humor droll

I sit upon a fallen oak and watch them playing near

Oh how I love my forest and how I love them dear

It is wicked to hack the forest down, billions of lives get lost

Please sit back and realize, it’s such a big cost

We need the peace that’s founded here

We need the earthy tones

We need to consider more so, that it’s not just humans who need homes

So please take a thought and a care

For every little creature there

And maybe earth shall grow again

New forests everywhere

My heart is wild, my soul is free, yet my body is not

I need the forest to stay secure I do not ask a lot

 

This poem was written because I love forests, woodlands, fields, you name it; I love it as long as it’s natural.  I have a friend who is trying to climb a career ladder as a local MP for a North London council – Barnet to be precise; he told me two weeks ago that Barnet and Brent are going into collaboration together to rebuild the Hendon estate, this means that they plan to drain the local reservoir/nature reserve and build on it, he is campaigning like mad to stop this madness and rightfully so, I was raised on that reserve (more or less). 

The reservoir is called The Welsh Harp. Whether it’s true that they have planning permission to do this or not, I am uncertain, but my friend doesn’t tend to lie. 

It’s a very worrying thought that approximately eight to ten acres of North London’s nature reserves is going to be snatched away from the locals and more to the point, the wildlife there.  There’s creatures such as swans, Canada geese, moorhens, squirrels, including reds funny enough (I’ve seen them) cardinal beetles (extremely rare), blue tits, badgers, foxes, hedgehogs, frogs and toads (they’d be there naturally anyway but when mum filled in her pond we set our fish, frogs, newts and toads free in the reservoir, so they had a new home), and many more beautiful creatures are going to lose their homes, because Barnet wants to cramp in another 20,000 families, despite closing down their hospitals might I add.

Should this be allowed?  Hell no, and guess what?  I am sick and tired of people sitting back and going “Oh, well, it’s a shame, what can we do”?  And just allow it to happen, if you don’t want something to happen, because you like walking around that area or you think that it’s beneficial to the locals and the wildlife, then get up off your arse and campaign the current minority brave souls, who can and do get off their arses.  The more numbers who protest against such things, the more likely we are to save it.

You don’t like something the officials are doing, you have a voice and if you start standing up you will motivate others who are quieter than you to voice their opinions too, and there’s more civilians in the world than officials, so they have to listen to the loudest voice!

So get MOVING!

I’ve done something similar here in Rugby, I attended a meeting where the locals wanted a small playground for the local children, because the council took away the one we had four years ago.  three years after heavy campaigning in a progressively enlarging group, we’ve got our way, now they’re building a huge adventure playground on our local field (one mowed constantly as its 2 football pitches for the local lads and an acre spare) not only that though, but they’ve allowed us local parents to pick and choose what things we want there and how to design it.

If you work with your community, you get what the community wants, not what some officials think will shut you up.

I wasn’t the loudest voice, I was in fact pretty quiet and sitting and the back but making it known I wanted the playground too, just by being there.  Unfortunately I was the only one at the time who had their child with them, Henry was just turning 3 months old and I got a lot of attention just because he was so darn cute, but the councillor listening to us, wanted to know more about what I particularly wanted, so I reluctantly spoke out in front of about 70 people and they pulled me to the front, and I was clinging onto Henry for dear life, scared as hell that all these people are looking at me.

She said it’s unlikely we’d get anything done by 2012, but we may get something done by the time my little baby turns 5, and it will be done as they are going to start building it in spring 2014.

So was it Henry who finally got it by pulling her heartstrings?  I don’t know, but one thing is for sure, although I wanted to campaign with everyone and hide, my thoughts counted A LOT, and we got listened to.

So get out there and get what you think your community needs, after all, why are you paying taxes if you’re not prosperous with your environment.

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Poems D - F

Earth, unharmed, unemptied

The wind washes my face

The light blue sky is a reflection of natural beauty

The windswept sands, warm under foot and I hold my husband’s hand

Dreaming of a time where humans realize that appreciation and protection is all this earth needs

That and good deeds

I usher my little children into this world of paradise

I want them to feel the vibrancy of this world with all their senses

This they need

To feel at one with everything

We are not separate souls living within a separate soul

We are one soul

One planet with one life

Our life

There should be no separation

No difference

Only love

Respect

For each other and our world

That and good deeds

This is what we all need

Planet Earth

Unharmed

Unemptied

 

 

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Filed under Poems D - F