Tag Archives: pain

Be silent, be silent

 

Be silent, be silent you drive me mad

Says my enemies to me in their mind that’s bad

Be quiet, be quiet they shout and plea

In their minds every day, directed at me

Yet I still talk, I still move on

I still continue because I grow strong

I won’t quit and I won’t stop

Not until their minds go POP!

Until they realise it isn’t me

It is their selves the silly things

They focused on me so much they ache

And so a spell they do create

Against me, their obsession and they can’t see

That the one who tortures them isn’t me

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems A - C, Short Story Series

Painkiller for my very soul

I am not wallowing in pity each and everyday

My poems of woes and misery are things that ease the way

It’s a painkiller for my very soul

I need to write, even if it’s dull

It helps to cure the pain

When I write my songs of misery, it may seem like it’s about you

But it is about events that happened long ago, it’s true

You should not sit there thinking, this is one is about me I’m sure

Because then you only open up wounds and make your heart go sore

You don’t know what my poems mean; you don’t know who they are about

So don’t sit there thinking you know what’s going on, when in fact you don’t know my clout

The world in my poems isn’t about you, so stay out

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems P - R

A freedom not suicide poem

You deny me of health

You deny me of wealth

You deny me of friendship and love and games

You deny me of faith, you deny me of hope

You deny me of living and you drive me insane

That’s why I left you

That’s why I am gone

That’s why you won’t see me from hereon

That’s why I rant and that’s why I rave

You denied me of life, the things that I craved

So now I have gone, I will piece things together

I will find my hope, faith, love and more

I will carry on, night and day

And I don’t care if your heart is so sore

For I am through with living for you and I live for you no more!

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems A - C

A word to hexers, haters and jealous people in general

A word to hexers, haters and jealous people in general

I am starting to take up art again, this time with an idea to try and make a living from it in a few months’ time, by then I would have developed friends in art and a little more self confidence in my painting work. 

I am still sick, that is something that will never change, in fact recently I have been told it could get much worse, but I am trying hard to pull through and make some kind of a life for myself despite all of the bad mojo trying to pull me down every once in a while, you would think it would have something better to do than to concentrate on picking on me, but never mind, they love me so much they just can’t stop thinking about me, which in a dark and psychotic way is kind of nice of them to think so much of me, I don’t think anyone else does to be honest, which makes them my greatest lover I suppose?

Yes, recently I have started to believe I am cursed, but then what do you expect from someone who is both spiritual and a lover of horror movies?  I’ve had such a long lasting run of bad luck with my health and personal life that I had to eventually come to the conclusion I have pissed off one too many witches during my life, for simply existing.  Lol

Anyway on a more serious note, it is true; I do believe the above statement. 

Despite this, I have to admire them for wanting to be involved in my life so much.  Hate can be as deep as love and just as obsessive.  In a strange kind of way, hate and love are the same thing, as you spend so much time thinking about the things you hate, like you do with special person you actually love, you give it the same attention, sometimes you even neglect the ones you actually love in favour of spending your time thinking more of the ones you hate.  It’s a strange kind of world when you think about it.

So when all is said and done, I am quite flattered of the attention I am getting, no matter how abysmal it makes my life.  I sort of feel sorry for the person who hates me to such a degree, because although I do not believe in karma, I do believe that you always reap what you sow and I believe in the sins of the father, despite not being a religious person personally.  So in a manner, it is not me they are cursing, but their own children; which is painfully sad for me, to think about.

Despite these setbacks, I will try, no matter how much I cry in pain each day with my ailments, as I do cry – so do please, enjoy that statement dear haters as I am sure you will, I will try and get along in my life and make the best I can of the cards you are dealing for me.  With a glad and happy heart, I will drag myself through the Hell you are creating for me and I will revel in any successes I may have in the future, whilst you are still sitting back on your posteriors, wishing that you had a taste of my supposed glorious life still.  Well by all means, you are welcomed to having a full three course meal of my life, if you so wish for it, you are welcomed to it and I really do hope that you choke on it.

Leave a comment

Filed under Brain Drain & Dribbles

Catalyst to my pain

There is a catalyst to my pain

A thing that makes me closer to insane

A habit that you have within you

Is gnawing away at my soul

I don’t want it to continue

Though you say you don’t know what you do

I know that you do… its true

I can’t explain how it makes me feel

I just know, what you do makes me ill

You say or do the simplest things, which in turn

Makes my suffering sing

I don’t enjoy this world of pain

I don’t want you to repeat this again and again

But you don’t know what you do

So I can’t really blame you

Though I do

You are ignorant, that much is true

You are the catalyst of my pain

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems A - C

They will help you to mend

Heartbroken you are in despair, smashed to pieces and you cannot bear this

You are not alone

There is a phone

Call upon your dearest friend; they will help you to mend

All these broken dreams and shattered promises are, not a part of you. 

You are free from those darned dreams and free from the pain of the one who has broken you

Leave now, go to better things, and go to different friends

The ones who care and love you, they will help you to mend.

Don’t look back on false promises and broken dreams and hopes

Look forwards to the ones who love you and who don’t taint your eyes with kaleidoscopes

Don’t be fooled by the ones who hurt you, turn your back on them for good

Go to the ones who make you happy, they are the ones who always understood

Keep away from the harmers, the dissers and the fakes

Keep on walking towards your future, where love always awaits

You’ll soon be free of this torment; you’ll soon be free of pain

Once you leave the dark times, you won’t return again.

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems S - U

I am the redeemer

Out from the corner of my eye, I see the world’s pain.

Just because I do not react, does not mean that I am not sane

I remain, neutral, in my neutral stance

I cannot bear to see you suffer, but I cannot stop your circumstance

Though you may fall and become weak and you may do crazy things

I am here to redeem your soul and hear you once again sing

Though you are desperate and cannot walk

I am here for you

I am waiting for your cue

I am here to redeem you

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems G - I

Constant Pain

My head is swelling up

My ear is getting sore

My head starts to thump

Tinnitus begins to roar

I feel sick and lazy

I feel tired and in pain

This constant pressure in my ear is driving me insane

Every day is different, every day the same

I live in constant variations of suffering and pain

How’s your ailments?  People ask

How’s your breathing I want to say?

But I keep quiet and carry on

Like nothings in my way

One infection, one week

Another in a fortnight

A virus after that’s cleared up

I don’t need some psychic foresight

This is my life

Like it or not

I know you wouldn’t if you were me

Living in a useless way

In pain and suffering

Knock me out I often ask

Throttle me right now

Help me out of this rotten life

Please make a solemn vow

But no one wants to

So I live on

In pain and agony

I am not strong

I have no choice but to suffer this

Each and every day

Be brave others tell me

And I think more about the grave

I have no choice but to be brave I say

I have no choice at all

You think staying at home all day in pain is lovely, like a ball?

Oh if it were only so, but it’s not

I live in pain, my ear is hot

Burning inside, burning out

Making me dizzy, draining from my snout

I can’t have fun or laughter

I can’t have a life at all

For living in pain isn’t lovely

Try a day you fool

I would love nothing better than to do the school run and work

I don’t choose this life you scum bag, you idiot and you twerp

I know I’m angry that is true

But try living in my shoes

I try each day to keep myself sane

To keep my temper calm

But it’s hard to stick with politeness, when others show their qualms

She’s here to infect us again they say

But what I have isn’t contagious

I’ve had it all my life almost

Isn’t it outrageous?

I try to live a normal life

But it’s hard to do it each day

I don’t often go out at all

Not even for play

It is a lonely life I have

It is a sad one too

But I don’t want your sympathy

That’s the worst thing you could do

I just want the pain to stop

And my nose stop running too

I want to live a normal life

And get to know a person or two

I want to do the school run

Get a part time job at Scope

I want to do so many things

I sit and wonder and hope

That someday my life will change

I will find a good doctor

A consultant who knows what is wrong

Someone to cure me of all my ills

Somebody who really feels

For their patients and kind too

Someone who knows what to do

So I can breathe normally

So I can hear just fine

So I don’t live my life in pain anymore

And live the life that’s mine

I want to be free to live my life

Be happy without sickness and pain

I want to recover right now

Because it’s driving me insane

I sit and wish it won’t be long

Before I get to heal

Because if it goes on for much more longer

I, myself shall kill

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under My life, Poems A - C

I need to go

I need to wake from this mortal state

This mess this existence of pure pain

I cannot let it drive my soul insane

I need to be freed from these bonds of flesh

I need to go where life is fresh

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems G - I

Dreamer of the forever night

 

I am the dreamer of the forever night

I am the watcher of the everlasting pains of humanity

I resemble fear and yet I have none

I do not know what I’ve become

I cannot vanquish this loneliness

I cannot escape the joylessness

I can only watch you weep your tears

For hundreds and thousands perhaps millions of years

I hunger for your release

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Poems D - F