Tag Archives: religious

The King Of Heaven

I am the king of heaven watching you all below me

I see your tears your loneliness and grief and it woes me

I send a chariot down to meet you all

I wipe your tears and catch you when you fall

You always doubt me, but I do care

I will protect you, this I swear

I am here now, saving you

But you’re not aware, you don’t have a clue

But I am here with you now

The King Heaven

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Filed under Poems S - U

Reading and writing past and present

I have always wanted to be a writer since I was ten years old when Mr Alistair a therapist/teacher told me that I had a gory imagination and extraordinary talent; back then my specialism was horror and it has only been in the past seventeen years that my writing has moved onto fantasy, comedy and poetry.  I started writing stories about alien invasions, vampires and alarmist ideas about climate change, El Niño and the end of the world.   I have for most of my life been a dedicated environmentalist, but since I talked so much in a spiritual forum about my concerns I lost confidence to continue writing this journalistically (is that a word? if not why not?), because I was accused of being a doom-sayer and me being a very uplifting positive person this accusation hurt me enough to stop me.

My first ever short story of any real length was based on Persephone in the underworld that I wrote when I was eleven.  I imagined how life must have felt like living in the underworld and even when I was that young I had a good clear understanding that not everyone is 100% evil or good, so I wrote about Hades in a positive form and it was very much influenced by my passion for Disney’s Beauty and the Beast.  This is a theme that has followed me through my writing life; if there is a misunderstanding in something, I am always willing to show another side to it – determined to prove to everyone that nothing is just black or white; it is a multitude of colours.  I can do this to the most indigestible of subjects too, according to a few people who have seen my handwritten work – thus I am sometimes known as an excellent mediator and diplomat, as long as the subject doesn’t get me too personally hot under the collar. 

One friend recently told me that they see me as society’s apologist, whatever that means.  I looked it up and I am not really that religious enough to be considered an apologist, though I suppose if you were to watch me answering questions whilst I am watching many quiz shows on religion, you’d say I seem to know an awful lot about religion for someone who isn’t interested in being religious.  You see I think this is where people misunderstand me – it is not that I am not religious, I am more humanist because I think that religion by and by causes division and I am all for world unity.  However I am a deeply spiritual person who literally believes in anything until it is absolutely solidly proven not to exist – hence why I leave milk and honey next to the stove at night for the house spirit (Nisse/elf) and ask permission to the tree itself before I prune it and honestly believe in various ancient customs and ideas – though I am still soul searching, but I will make this abundantly clear now, this is not an invitation to be converted to anything.  My ancestry history is so mixed, whenever I feel I should dedicate myself one way or another, I feel like I am upsetting some ancestor on the other side, so I don’t bother myself with dedication of that sort.

Anyway, this post was going to be about how I started writing and what I started with and where I have ended up.  I have written a lot of comedy and comic themes recently that I have noticed I have more and more of the fantasy and sci-fi comedy genre, if that is a genre.  I told Paul the other day that I feel like I am being possessed by the spirits of the deceased members of the Monty Python gang and Terry Pratchett, I try and write serious high fantasy and I can’t help putting in some silliness into it and I am seeing corny puns in everything!  The more I fight it, the funnier I get.

Unfortunately the comedy themes are rarely if ever posted on here, because I have made this mostly into a life update and poetry blog, rather than the intended fantasy blog, because I worry that my worst writing might be my best and my best my worse in the eyes of the world.  So I never really know which short stories and snippets to risk posting here.

I have decided to make this blog more of a writing diary, but again I have fears that I might reveal too much of my plans.  Fear is a major factor for me not posting much lately.

I have a handwritten diary I update about once a week on average because I keep forgetting to add to it – this diary is purely about my writing, my plans and any strange themes I have noticed that day or week.  For example, I have noticed I get a story idea in my head, then a book falls off the shelf in the library of a similar theme I was thinking about – weird coincidences like this happen a lot to me.  Then whilst television flicking, subjects of things I have been thinking about or themes of the day seem to be found everywhere, even on my sons chocolate wrappers as adverts at times!

I was thinking about sharing these day to day themes and the weird occurrences they have been discovered as part of my day to day blogging, as these things often develop into story ideas for me as I sit back and wonder what the universe wants me to do with these supposed signs?  What story is she prodding me towards and I believe this is why I have more ideas than actual work – I am never without a new idea, the problem for me is writing them down fast enough and concentrating on less than three at a time.  This is extra difficult for me because I am an attention deficit sufferer, I get bored doing the same thing or thinking about the same thing for longer than twenty minute bursts – hence why my current reading list on Goodreads usually has around twelve current books on the go!  It doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy a book, it just means I really can’t concentrate for more than twenty minutes.

Thinking about my reading list on Goodreads has actually just reminded me to make a point here on a matter a friend recently said to me the other day – she noticed that I have all these books on Goodreads I am currently reading but I only manage to read between ten and forty pages a day of maybe two or three books and she said that as far as she understands I am always reading but the Goodreads activities doesn’t prove it.  I said it is simple really when you consider that Goodreads is not designed to update magazines and newspapers and out of print books that are not listed on their site at all as well as local pamphlets and guides, game back stories, research websites, other people’s blogs and so forth. 

Here is a list of my magazine subscriptions and I do mean, I read them every time they are published either weekly or monthly;

Writing Magazine

Garden News

Sci-Fi Now

Gardeners World

Tesco

Yours

Pets @ home

Total TV Guide

Amateur Garden

Kitchen Garden

Lego club magazine

WWF membership news and stuff

Bibliophile

BBC History

New Scientist

Focus

Classic Rock

When I pick up a new magazine, that is the only thing I can read from beginning to end and it takes me around an hour to two hours – the reason why I can do that with a magazine rather than a novel is simple, the subject changes every few minutes.

Honestly, I am addicted to reading, I am addicted to downloading new information into my mind on a constant basis and I am a person who doesn’t enjoy sleep – I see it as a waste of time, but being ill, I have to sleep more than most and it literally drives me crazy!  All I want to do is think learn and do.

So there you have it!

Hello, I am Tina Cousins and I am a reading and writing addict and I don’t intend to cure myself of it, goodbye.

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Filed under About my work

I will rescue you

I’m am talking about the scriptures

I am talking about the books

I have a message for you

Would you please take a look?

You shepherd to me pain

You created the evil and insane

You make things hard to gain

Yet you still won’t take the blame

God, you ask me to trust you

And I can trust you not

Because each creation is made by you

You’ve made everything – the lot

You tell me to be wary of evil

How not to fool for their games

Yet I wonder why you tell me

What are your puzzling aims?

You see, I think you lie to me

I think you lie and cheat

I don’t think the word of God is yours

The bible was written by a sneak

That’s why you have no name

That’s why you refuse to tell

You try to cheat all of us and put us under spells

You’ve armies who believe in you

You’ve armies who’d fight your wars

Yet God is the name for love

So why don’t you show me yours?

You see I doubt the word of the scriptures that every religion tells

I believe it’s the act of the deceiver, who has put everyone under spells

It was once said “evil hides within the eyes of the innocent” and that is very true

Everyone who has faith in this, is under the spell that’s you

I don’t believe you are God at all

I don’t believe your lies

You’re just a book that tells us stories that are endless in supply

I know that God does exist and he isn’t inside of you

The innocence you have stolen, the world doesn’t have a clue

You’ve imprisoned their hearts and their minds

You’ve taken all their souls

Yet they still worship and believe, that your laws are old as time

Well I am here to free them, to save them with my rhyme

To open their minds and hearts

To open the door to them

I will try and lead them all back home again

For God is the word of love, he discriminates not at all

Anyone who tells you he does, is a liar, that is all

If your book tells you to hate or kill, it is not true scripture it is evil still

Do you want to pay the price?  Do you want me to hand you the bill?

Do you want to be lost forever?  Do you want to stay unfulfilled?

Then take my hand and come with me, to a better place.

A place where I can show you truth, far away from the base

Yes you already live in Hell, you didn’t know it, but now you do

And here is my hand outstretched, here to rescue you

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Filed under Poems G - I

Follow the path of the dove

I am floundering in a world that’s diverse
But the diversity is a mess
People hate each other even at their best
No one realises that they are the same
No one sees the similarities
It’s insane
It hurts my brain
I know religions and I study them all well
I follow none, on me; they do not cast their spell
But many are enchanted by their promises and their hopes
But I do not follow them; I see it worse than dope
And many do attack me, for my flimsy and secular ways
They think I don’t believe in god and that he creates
But I do, but I won’t name god and I won’t give him a sex
I do not know if they are male or female and I don’t know if our behaviour they even check
Do they care about our ways, whether we are good or if we’re bad?
Do they think there’s a code to life we must follow to be glad?
I don’t know and neither do you, so why do you follow texts?
Texts that are written by other men to control their nations via pretext
Oh I see the spell that you are under
I see it all too clear
But to tell you all, you won’t have it
At me you will snipe and jeer
Yet you will kill for your god and your ways
Though your texts they tell you don’t
You do so anyway because…?
You know not do you? You don’t!
So tell me why you’re so enchanted, when religion causes war?
When your own texts tell you not to and you do so because the law…
Why do you stand for murder when your beliefs are threatened so?
Why do you argue with your brother because he is different? Lo…
Can’t you see the mess you’re in? Can’t you see the spell?
Can’t you see it’s not just you, but other beliefs as well?
It is better not to label oneself, for the good of all mankind
It is better to live together in peace, be good and happy and kind
Keep away from the toxic faiths that turn you from other men
Turn away from those paths and then…
You will see such happy times, of peace and love and compassion
You will know then what heaven is, if you forget your violent passions
You cannot be a good spirit, if your heart is full of hate
You need to think another way, do not be afraid to cross that gate
I think you will see it is a blessed life, when you turn your hate into love
I think this is what you need to do to follow the path of the dove

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Filed under Poems D - F

The wrong time

For the last two days I have posted later in the day, not the morning like I usually do because I have been busy with my son.  It is the October half term, I am still getting over what was now discovered to be a mild case of pneumonia, and thankfully they caught it with strong drugs on time.  I luckily had a doctor with the savvy to take a swab from me, something that’s getting rarer these days – intelligent and compassionate doctors.

I never heard of pneumonia of the ear, but it explains why my infection has lasted a solid 5 weeks this time around.

Anyway, I have tried to work hard and make various posts for scheduled posting to stick to my promise of a post a day, but for some reason or other the posts I have chosen to write aren’t time compatible.  I have been thinking about Christmas and New Year a lot, so a lot of the poetry and discussions I’ve written are schedule for 6 to 9 weeks’ time.

In those discussions I’ve spoken about how I feel about various festive traditions and songs, such as “Marshmallow World” by Bing Crosby and “Susie Snowflake” and the idea of the Krampas etc.

I don’t know why my mind is set in mid-winter but I find it very enchanting, however, it is not time compatible just yet.

Stick with me

 

 

 

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Filed under About my work

What are vampires to me?

To me, a vampire is never messy when actually feeding. They take great care and consideration when feeding not to leave any evidence behind that could trace back to them. They respect their prey, they respect their prey for the life that is sacrificed in order to keep its own life flowing. They are shrewd by nature, but considerate and well-mannered.

Vampires generally do not live alone; they go about in packs and travel a lot during the night to hunt. They do not however, hunt in packs unless they are settling scores. Where they hunt and how they hunt is usually discussed within their nests to avoid any pattern setting. Typically a vampire will travel to hunt anywhere within a 200 mile radius of their home, they avoid a pattern being set by having one large nest in every 30 to 50 mile radius near large populations and generally swap and change their abode with others as they are not limited to their favourite pack members, but the whole extension of the vampire network.

Vampires typically accept each other very easily and are very protective of all other vampires of their breed, treat each other as though they were very, very close siblings, even if they only ever meet each other once a decade.  They know who is a vampire and who isn’t instinctively and they never get it wrong.

If a vampire isn’t seen to have an instinct to protect or love their own kind easily, they tend to either destroy themselves or become destroyed by the pack members within one lunar cycle.

Vampires have a strong sense of pack relations and traditions. The older they get the more refined they become of the mortal culture that surrounds them. They maintain traditional values; they maintain etiquette and react to the area as the highest possible class that’s available. The vampires have their own dates for special occasions and have their very own culture which they all respect and protect fiercely. Anyone who is sloppy, anyone who acts out of line threatens the very essence of the pack and they don’t allow this and like wolves will either kill off or run out of the pack the one who upsets anything. Along with their traditions there is a hierarchy that is respected profusely, there is a system as to who is top dog and who isn’t and anyone challenging that upsets the pack and if you upset the pack, you die, simple as that.

Despite the respect for mortals they have, they also understand that they are killers and they have to end lives sooner or later and if they don’t, they betray themselves and their nature.

If you are considered physically or more importantly mentally too weak for the pack, they will end your existence. If you are a sloppy killer, you will be killed. If you lure hunters to the pack, you will be destroyed, if you go against tradition you will die and if you ever commit a crime against a member of the pack you will be trialled and if found guilty tortured horribly before you die.

Vampires respect each other, they respect the hierarchy and they respect traditions. They do not treat each other as slaves, they do not turn their own kind away and they always help out.

They work together to keep each other safe and happy.

They hide from sunlight but are not completely at risk in mild light, such as twilight, dawn, and dusk, low light day like cloudy rainstorm weather or fog.

They have no problems with religious artefacts, water or garlic.

But like anything can be killed with a stake through the heart.

My vampires are pack animals, they don’t like to be alone and they never will be entirely alone.

There is safety in numbers and they know this.

They also have semi-immortal servants which are kind of half sired that protect them during the day. Like the original Fright Night.

They are very picky about who they sire and get to know their sired children before doing so.

A vampire isn’t moody, they live their lives very similarly to humans if they can and they are often very thoughtful, content creatures.

Because their memory is wiped when they are sired they don’t dwell on their mortal past but rather get on with their existence as though it’s a reincarnation – which it is.

They don’t sparkle.

They don’t rip their victims’ limb from limb.

They don’t taunt their prey.

They can cross water.

They can eat normal food and drink.

They don’t need to sleep in coffins or sleep at all.

That’s what vampires are to me.

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Filed under Short Story Series

Depths of blackness

In the depths of blackness I hear the cries of creatures drowning in their own sorrows of the thick dark night.

Souls wretched and souls bereaved, crying out to the night for love and release.

The fires of torture burn through their brains, in an agonizing heat wave how can they be saved?

Swimming through the whiny larvae of their new found home, sinking floating, choking on volcanic foam.

Tortured souls how can they be released?

How can they suffer anymore than this? For what is the purpose, isn’t this insane?

To see tortured victims burn up in the flames?

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Filed under Poems D - F

Who am I?

Know me and the way I am,

I am the ocean,

I am the sands

 I am the sky

 I am the birds,

I am the beast

 I am all words.

I can love and I can hate,

I can kill and create,

I am something and I am not,

I am cold and I am hot.

I am life and I am death,

I am the wine,

I am the bread.

I am wet and I am dry,

I am the hills,

who am I?..…God!

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Filed under Poems V - Z

freedom from religion

I am going around the bend in a world that believe it is free

Whenever religion exists freedom is something that cannot be

I choose a secular life, but still religion thrusts on

I am sick and tired of hearing the same songs

I need to be in a world where I’m free

But with religion, that cannot be

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Filed under Poems D - F

Historical books a plenty August 2013

This is an update on my reading pile which has changed dramatically since I last wrote up the previous update. 

I have before, added books I haven’t even opened the pages of yet.  But this time around I am only going to add the books which I’ve read at least one page of, then at the end of that list I will write up what I hope to start reading before September 1st 2013.

I have read a wonderful biography of a ladies maid life in service to Lady Nancy Astor, I recommend this as a good read to anyone interested in non-celebrities lives; the book I read was “The Ladies Maid” by Rosina Harrison and I marked it as a five star on Goodreads.com

“The Laws of Manifestation” by David Spangler, I am very interested in the law of attraction and cosmic ordering, but although I’ve read 94 pages of this book so far the idea that they rely on God so much puts me off and makes for an uncomfortable read for me – though the book has opened my mind about relying on relationships to assist my needs.  For example, this along with a recommendation by Host Fiona on Jackpotjoy.com I have joined a site called freegle.com where people pass on unwanted things for free, I’ve come across a woman whose giving away 20 saved jam and pickle jars which is useful for our chutney making and we’ve also found several other items we’re interested in there, so, technically, that’s cosmic ordering working for us through the habit of socializing with strangers.

“Sociology; themes and perspectives” by Michael Haralambos, I haven’t moved on from reading this since I last updated it, but at least I’ve read some pages of this book. 

I still owe it to my friend Richard Gentle to read the rest of his book “Whatever you think” as well as that, he is doing a talk on the law of attraction and cosmic ordering tonight on an internet radio show, though I need to ask him further details about that.

“Parallel worlds” by Michio Kaku hasn’t been picked up again since either.

“Full Dark, No Stars” hasn’t progressed either, the book is by Stephen King and lately I feel a little too sensitive for horrors outside of the vampire genre (love vampires, always wanted one as a pet to set on my enemies).

“Dragon Chronicles” by Margaret Weis, I would love to further the read but my wrist got sprained and it’s a huge book to hold – a friend suggested a kindle download, but I don’t enjoy reading that way.

“The Goddess Experience” by Gisele Scanlon is a lovely read but I am loathe to reading more of it because of financial troubles and every time I read a page in that book I want to travel to the place of suggestion and buy something, like Paris for macarons and some little shop in South London for bespoke handbags.

“The art of happiness” by the Dalai Lama hasn’t been picked up lately because I am finding it hard to put myself into a relaxing frame of mind to read it lately.

“Lucky” by Alice Sebold is a difficult read, emotionally, so I will try and read it when I can.

“Below Stairs, the kitchen maid’s memoir” by Margaret Powell was an interesting read, but I will re-read the first three pages again soon and make a start on the entire book, but this may be around four weeks’ time as I over loaned too many books at the library again, despite me promising myself I was only going to get out three this time.

Now for the list of (not even opened books) that I plan to read over the summer holidays. 

“The dragon sitter” by Josh Lacey, I got this out on Henry’s library card (my 3yr old son).

“Speed reading for dummies” by Richard Sutz, this will be a very worthwhile read because of the amount of books I am backlogged with and it gets worse weekly.

“Hubble Bubble” by Jane Lovering, I think, from what I’ve read at the back that it’s a dystopian comedy about witches, but could be wrong?

“Merry England” by William Harrison Ainsworth, I love books like these so it shouldn’t be long before I pick that up to read.

“Sister Queens; Katherine of Aragon and Juana Queen of Castile” By Julia Fox, again I love historical books like these so I am looking forward to reading this, especially as I am watching a lot of Tudor based programs, documentaries and historical dramas lately.

“The Forbidden” by Frank Tallis, unsure what this is supposed to be about, but the back of the book lured me, especially as it seems someone sold their soul in a way that sounds like they didn’t even know they did it, but again, could be wrong.

“Gothic Art” by Andrew Martindale, again I love books based around Gothic art and architecture, though I dislike the religious connotations in most of it.

“Catch-22” by Joseph Heller, I wrote this book down in my “to research” notebook a few weeks ago, but I couldn’t remember why – so I went online and found out why, it was a comedy war book apparently, I think I may have got the recommendation from “Cult Fiction” I read a couple of months ago, but whether or not this is my type of book I don’t know yet.

“The adventure of English” by Melvyn Bragg, still hasn’t been picked up but I have wanted to read this for almost fifteen years now, maybe I should actually start it within the next six weeks?

“The Castle of Otranto” by Horace Walpole, is another book I am interested in but unsure when I will get around to it, I downloaded it on kindle and I must say it’s a reluctant read because of the format and I can’t find it cheap to buy anywhere and my district libraries don’t have it in storage either.

“Dissolution” by C.J Sansom, the first book in the Shardlake series again it’s historical and I think they’re based around Tudor times again so they’ll certainly put me into my element once I start reading them; I bought the whole series for only £8.70 on eBay second-hand, the cheapest out there, I think the cheapest second-hand was available on Amazon for £27 so that’s a bargain indeed!

“Nutmeg” by Maria Goodin, again I read the first few pages of this story and I was hooked, but I had to put it down because it was only meant to be a taster – I can’t wait to finish this book in particular, I could do with nonsensical comedy.

I really hope the speed-reading book will help me read all these books whilst still maintaining the imagination I have when I read (like a TV screen in my head) but I don’t think it’s designed to do that, rather than to just get the words in your head and your brain slowly processes it all after you’ve read things so you can see it like a TV program later, or have I got the idea of speed-reading all wrong?

Well anyway, at this time I think the laws of manifestation will be completed by Tomorrow night, if not then I will be starting on the dragon-sitter and both books will be likely to be finished by Thursday the latest.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under My inspirations