copyright Tina Cousins FantasyFed 2016
The cloud rises, twists and twirls around the forbidden mortal world
Hues of blue and grey and white forbids the passage to their sight
Unseen we are the hidden ones, forbidden to enter, forbidden to come
No one knows we are here, their cries of sadness we often hear
Forbidden to answer their prayers and cries
Forbidden to help them, unless they die
We cannot go to take their pain, we can only watch and hear in vain
We cannot cross through their gate
We can only watch their terrible fate
We are the gods they pray will come
But it’s not our world, it is not our sun
We cannot control what goes on there
Only guide them to the heavenly stair
We are forbidden to touch and be, where the mortals live and breath
We are the watchers of their endless plight
The protectors of eternal light
We are your warriors we are your knights
We tuck you into dreamtime at night
We are not evil, we are not cruel
It is not our place to rule mortals
We aren’t heartless, we aren’t depraved
We are there and ready to save
You are mortals and we are not
We are the ones that you’ve forgot
We are tender and we are true
And we’ll always be there for you
But we cannot enter through the mortal gate
We can only watch your fate
And lend a hand to the path of death
At the time of your last breath
So carefully we will take your hand
And take you to our immortal lands
Where life has set you free to be
Another watcher like me
Is it fair to see a good man suffer, because his wife loves no other?
Is it fair his bridges are burned and his children up and leave and their reputations upturned?
All because he loved the beast, a woman whose heart bleeds cold
Is it fair to see him die, old and grey and alone?
Because he obeyed a crone
If you think for one moment that I am pleased at revealing the truth, you’re blind
I did it to release myself, to my children – be kind
I knew that if I told the truth that my father he would stay behind, but I cannot vouch for him if he won’t leave worthless swine
I love my father and it hurts to see that I may never speak to him again
Because he is bullied by the wicked witch of old London’s east end!
He is isolated by her, like I was once
But he stays because he is in love
I don’t know what he sees in her, but he gave up friends and family for the dunce
I don’t know why, such a good man gets such a manipulative evil sow
I don’t care what you think of me for saying these words, I miss him, so does his sisters and brothers and wow – the hold that woman has on him, the things that he gave up
I just hope that when he dies he is rewarded the golden cup of life
Because his life has been hard and full of strife, for loving the beast from Hell
Oh how I miss him, can’t you tell?
Locked in cold stone walls
Shut away and forgotten
Forbidden to live a life
By those who are mean and rotten
Lied about by your torturer
Hissed at by their friends
A mystery to others
Yet no one helps you mend
People accuse you of being the trouble
People accuse you of being bad
Yet nobody knows that the woman they love
Is evil and nasty and mad
Some have seen the truth, a glimpse
But unsure, they look on
And eventually I run away again
And hope that I can belong
But away I went and then there was more
Trouble and lies and hate
But the people who witness the things going on
Think it is I who has caused this fate
They won’t be told that someone they like
Have two sides to their personality
Instead they decide to add to my torment
Thinking they are defending their mother, naturally
But they don’t remember I am not the only one
She has kept in the dark and cold
I am one of three and she hates two
But the oldest one, he never knew
He won’t accept the truth
My father is lovely and it pains me to say
I might never get to see him again
Because she rules him, and he won’t come
To visit me and his grandson
Because she lies to all around, that she gives him a choice to come around
But she doesn’t you see, the truth is this
She would rant and she would spit
If he came knocking at my door
So until she dies, I’ll see him no more
I am feeling hollow
Surrounded by death
Though no one wants to hear my thoughts
They say I am selfish if I declare my pain
Feeling for strangers, that’s insane, they say
But I look on
Like from the ashes of the cadavers around me
I form a new life within my self
That’s how death can set people free
Like now, that doesn’t work
Perhaps soon it will
But now I am still
Cold and worn
I need the warm
I need life
No more death
Just let me be
Wistful I have been, thinking of my road to home
Will I ever get there? I’ve had far enough to roam
How simple the little quest should be, to get from A to B
But not for someone who’s not from here, not for someone like me
I dream of the day that I am forgotten
Many people vex me so
Most people treat me though I am rotten
But people deny the truth did you know?
I am troubled by unsettled lives
Not my own but theirs
They watch my every move, each second
Warning me to beware
If I speak a word of truth, that’s it
Everyone comes knocking on my door
But they deny I tell the truth, claim I lie some more
Whilst they are around I can’t have a proper life
Their supporters don’t know they cause me strife
But no matter how far away I go
There’s always someone treading on my toes
From distant places, deep in my past
Their abuse isn’t local, but it still lasts
Indirectly it may be so
But they have other people you know?
So that is why I dream today
Of a time where I am mislaid
Why can’t people forget me now?
I’ve been gone for years, yet they still scowl
How sad their little lives must be
If all they can do, is still think of me
In the depths of blackness I hear the cries of creatures drowning in their own sorrows of the thick dark night.
Souls wretched and souls bereaved, crying out to the night for love and release.
The fires of torture burn through their brains, in an agonizing heat wave how can they be saved?
Swimming through the whiny larvae of their new found home, sinking floating, choking on volcanic foam.
Tortured souls how can they be released?
How can they suffer anymore than this? For what is the purpose, isn’t this insane?
To see tortured victims burn up in the flames?
I was floating above my shell last night
About to travel to the world of my dreams
But then I stopped
I don’t know why
It’s frustrating that I do not fly into that other realm
Maybe it’s because the idea overwhelms?
Oh is it real? I can’t tell
But I know it’s a place that’s put me under its spell
Maybe they’ll call me tonight or maybe not?
I hope so; to me it means a lot
Though I worry that it’s not all real
That a game is being played
I sometimes think that way and I shouldn’t
But I think I’m mentally frayed
Well one day I shall know
And if it’s real my happiness will overflow
But if it’s not, then my soul will die
Because for many years this place has made me cry
For I want to go home
I want to go home to my paradise
Will the effects be long lasting?
Will I end this spell?
Will I be immortal again?
I cannot really tell.
All I know is I’m weeping
Living in a mortal hell
I always sit and wonder
When is there an end to this mortal shell?