Tag Archives: suicidal

Life is sometimes…

My life, sore as it may be, is still a blessing to me

There are things I don’t often see, happy things, miracles and a certain ease

I try not to be blind for the things I have

I try not to be ungrateful

I know that life could be much worse, it is sometimes inescapable

But I count my blessings as often as I can

So I can make a stand and say

It isn’t always this way

There are happy days and there are sad

There are good days and there are bad

But one thing that we can always be sure of

Is that life is changeable and we all know this – sort of

So when times are hard and difficult – remember it will also change

That life will lighten up and the suffering will ease and good times you will gain

But remember too that goodness, will also fade away

Be prepared for the bad times, as they sometimes come to play

But live for the moment is the most important of all

Something you don’t learn at school

So when you’re down and thinking silly things

Remember this message and let your heart sing

That times won’t always be bright and gay, but times aren’t always shades of grey

You will someday, find your peace, be happy again and pain will cease

Trust me, all things eventually decrease

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Filed under Poems J - L

curious mind of a growing author

Now, I am not in a frame of mind where I want to leave anyone right now – I am not depressed, I am not suicidal today, I am not hinting at any discomforts emotionally at all; yet despite this, today has been a day where poetically, I cannot help but write about relationships ending, leaving a former life etc. and this is just a fluke… or is it? Am I going through some kind of subconscious rebirth? Is this the start of a midlife crisis? I haven’t a clue, but currently I think I am very happy with the people who are in my life.
A lot of my poems are based on my past, particularly my childhood. But the ones I have written today are largely focusing on sexual relationships that are coming to a close, yet I am not in this situation – though I have been once. But the words in the poems would have been different surely? As I never left them, they didn’t leave me for the reasons I wrote about today, so where these poems came from is a mystery to me.
Another thing is I have written two poems today and both of those poems have a particular sentence in common “It’s not that I don’t love you”, now, I have had this said to me on many occasions before, when I was about to be dumped – the excuses that came after were varied.
Sometimes a writer can be in a frame of mind to write about something they have never experienced and usually I have been told that this is wrong – you should always write about what you know in order to sound authentic. So let me know if you think it sounds authentic enough for a person who has never experienced what I wrote about in the two poems I will post later in the week called “It’s not that I don’t love you” and “It’s not that I don’t love you 2”.
Thank you for reading

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Filed under About my work, My life

Iced Podium

 

I’m freezing in the cold damp grey winter morning
The chilled wind wraps around me like an inescapable cocoon
Will I freeze to death soon?
I’ve lost my mind and I still stand
On the cold wet floor of the prairie lands
I can’t move, I can’t talk
All I do is stand or walk
Lost in the frozen land
I’ve lost my mind
For I’ve lost my hand
How heartbreak makes us numb
I stand dying on an iced podium

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Filed under Poems G - I

Grey Life

This world is my prison

I sit and wait and stare

I have beautiful dangling prisms

That shimmers in lights glare

 

I watch those pretty crystals

Hanging above my head

I dream of another world

That I’ll go to when I’m dead

 

I see the wonderful flowers

In a sunny meadow bright

I’ll sit under green bowers

Soaking in the sight

 

I can’t wait for death to take me

Away from this bloodshot world

I hope fate has heard my plea

Under this branch I am curled

 

I’ll dream of another life

In another place

I hope it’s a life without strife

Or where I’m seen as a disgrace

 

I can’t abide this morbid world

Not for another day

I am lost in a netherworld

I need to run and play

 

This world is my prison

I am sure of it today

I need to fall into the crystal prisms

And leave this life that’s grey

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Filed under Poems G - I

D-R-A-S-T-I-C

Damaged, my mind is

Remembering times of violence, a lot

Angry at my past for damaging my future – not

Suicidal and wishing I had another life?  Not anymore

Trichotillomania making your hair pull – sure

Irritated by yourself?  No I’m secure

Changed by your past?  Aren’t we all?

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Filed under Poems D - F