Trials and tribulations
I have this stipulation
If you don’t trust someone then you never will
I have this situation and an indication
That you will do me ill
So why should I stick around?
You’re trying to fool me, like some stupid clown
It’s not going to work
Go away you jerk!
Why do you always lurk?
You’re a stalker, that’s why I smirk
I can’t be with you
Did you hear me?
Go away – find someone else who’ll play
Why don’t you just fade away into an early grave?
Witches don’t like so called tough bitches that can’t walk the walk
Bitches that won’t stop the talk
Why don’t you stop your squawk?
Yes I’m talking to you bitch!
Tag Archives: Word
Trials and tribulations
A word to hexers, haters and jealous people in general
I am starting to take up art again, this time with an idea to try and make a living from it in a few months’ time, by then I would have developed friends in art and a little more self confidence in my painting work.
I am still sick, that is something that will never change, in fact recently I have been told it could get much worse, but I am trying hard to pull through and make some kind of a life for myself despite all of the bad mojo trying to pull me down every once in a while, you would think it would have something better to do than to concentrate on picking on me, but never mind, they love me so much they just can’t stop thinking about me, which in a dark and psychotic way is kind of nice of them to think so much of me, I don’t think anyone else does to be honest, which makes them my greatest lover I suppose?
Yes, recently I have started to believe I am cursed, but then what do you expect from someone who is both spiritual and a lover of horror movies? I’ve had such a long lasting run of bad luck with my health and personal life that I had to eventually come to the conclusion I have pissed off one too many witches during my life, for simply existing. Lol
Anyway on a more serious note, it is true; I do believe the above statement.
Despite this, I have to admire them for wanting to be involved in my life so much. Hate can be as deep as love and just as obsessive. In a strange kind of way, hate and love are the same thing, as you spend so much time thinking about the things you hate, like you do with special person you actually love, you give it the same attention, sometimes you even neglect the ones you actually love in favour of spending your time thinking more of the ones you hate. It’s a strange kind of world when you think about it.
So when all is said and done, I am quite flattered of the attention I am getting, no matter how abysmal it makes my life. I sort of feel sorry for the person who hates me to such a degree, because although I do not believe in karma, I do believe that you always reap what you sow and I believe in the sins of the father, despite not being a religious person personally. So in a manner, it is not me they are cursing, but their own children; which is painfully sad for me, to think about.
Despite these setbacks, I will try, no matter how much I cry in pain each day with my ailments, as I do cry – so do please, enjoy that statement dear haters as I am sure you will, I will try and get along in my life and make the best I can of the cards you are dealing for me. With a glad and happy heart, I will drag myself through the Hell you are creating for me and I will revel in any successes I may have in the future, whilst you are still sitting back on your posteriors, wishing that you had a taste of my supposed glorious life still. Well by all means, you are welcomed to having a full three course meal of my life, if you so wish for it, you are welcomed to it and I really do hope that you choke on it.
I do not recommend NaNoWriMo to any writer who has been writing for a while, whether published or unpublished to partake in NaNoWriMo unless they are used to writing more than 1700 words per day under pressure. In fact I would even stretch to say, unless you are used to writing at least 2000 words per day, because when you do NaNoWriMo you become obsessed with having certain amount of words rather than good quality work. This can be especially true for those writers out there (and I am one of those writers) who are highly competitive outside of writing in every other thing – this feeds my competitive nature far too much.
The work I have done on NaNoWriMo is shockingly awful; it is the worse stuff I have ever, EVER done. It will take me much longer to edit the first draft than would have been usual for me. I am dreading to re-read what I have done and for the record, no, I haven’t won NaNoWriMo and I will not by Wednesday, simply because I stopped writing the novel altogether last week at 37,504 words. I am disgusted at myself for the quality of work I have done; I am not used to creating that kind of garbage. With that said, the novel in itself isn’t too bad an idea; there are many wonderful things that have happened during the NaNoWriMo challenge, some of which are pleasantly surprising and helpful to enhance the richness of the plot as a whole, but in practise, the story is unemotional and I missed several key points in my plot because of the word count.
I suppose the speed of NaNoWriMo assisted mainly in the brainstorming phase of my writing; I certainly had a brainstorm for something interesting to happen in the novel outside of my key elements as often as once every ten paragraphs approximately. However, simply sitting back and doing my daily journal does that if I concentrate purely on the current novel I am working on; something of which I hadn’t had the energy to do throughout the challenge. I had no energy to do any other form of work in writing or art; it was starting to burn me out. I had no energy to read books or even update my personal diary and morning pages.
The entire challenge zapped me; it absorbed me and ultimately slowed me down. I wrote less per day than I would normally, ironic because of the word count obsession, but it did indeed; slow me down by 800 words per day.
I think I could have kept with the challenge despite the shoddiness of work, if there was more support. However, my region seems to be a ghost town, hardly anyone has been seen on any of the forums or the chatrooms provided, the only support I had got were from people who were not doing the challenge and were writers who look at the challenge with a sympathetic eye. I spent ages sitting around waiting for someone to talk to from the NaNoWriMo site, even trying to seek out NaNoWriMo writers from twitter and other places to come up against a social brick wall.
NaNoWriMo although was a terrible experience for me, was still fruitful in its way. I brainstormed through the toil and was provided with small gems to make my plot as a whole sparkle. But I have a lot of extra unnecessary work to do, when editing comes around. Let me put this into plainer terms… The first chapter of the novel will be completely deleted and replaced with only a nice, neat three paragraphs and that is only the first chapter. Something I am not used to doing, I am not used to creating that amount of rubbish.
I am bored with the novel at the moment, I won’t continue with it perhaps until way after New Year. Meanwhile I will start reviving my blog again and work on the other two novels I wanted to do during the challenge, without the panic that I shall be a failure unless I reach 50k for just one novel in 30 days.
As I said before, I wrote more outside of the challenge, than I did within it.
So, will I be taking up NaNoWriMo challenge 2017? You must be joking? Of course I won’t.
NaNoWriMo word count so far… 12667 and writing first draft without revising each paragraph like I usually do, is coming up with some surprising results. The results are similar to brainstorming and brain drain, similar to the things I tend to get on my morning pages with the Artist Way.
So far my novel contains talking animals and several magical items I had never planned on. The journey is cut short by a weird mode of transport and I have added a supporting character I had never planned to add, the supporting characters I had planned to add aren’t as important to the story after all; I am sensing a death coming up any time soon for those!
Yes I know death to one of the least supporting characters is callous, but it is necessary, as Stephen King always says “Kill your darlings” and I have to say, I am not uncomfortable with it.
Current word count for NaNoWriMo on day 4 is 10461, yay. 🙂
Today is day three of NaNoWriMo, I may write more later on, but probably not too. I have completed today with 2185 words, this total’s my whole NaNoWriMo score for the 3 days I have suffered from repetitive strain injury on my right hand as 7779 words completed towards my 50k goal.
I am not just doing NaNoWriMo, I am doing my normal writing as well as the 750words.com nano challenge, this means other than writing for my nano novel, I am dishing out a further 1700 words on average for 750words.com badge and another 1000 words for anything else.
Plus whatever the word count for this is – oh and I have also been handwriting outside of typing. Sighs. I dare anyone to tell me I am not productive this week, I dare them to say it!
*Sits watching and waiting for an idiot to take me up on the challenge of saying it*.
I love old words, words found in Victorian texts and before; I love the whole vocabulary that once was, I find it a great shame that society doesn’t find it necessary to preserve them the best they can whilst incorporating new fashionable words.
I know many people who have an old way about them, me for example, but also some rare friends; they are made to feel like old fashioned blathering idiots for talking the way they do, yet I find it admirable.
Why can’t we preserve the old way conversationally speaking? Why are people made to feel almost ashamed for keeping rare words alive – and why is the OED removing many words from the dictionary?
It’s a shame, but I aim to preserve them the best I can through writing.
Yes, I understand that to read me can be very difficult for some, but I aim to help broaden people’s phraseological horizons.
This post can also be found at traineegoddess.com another of my sites.
Because I am finding it hard to motivate myself to write more than 1000 words per day, I’ve decided to give myself a writing goal.
My usual daily writing goal is 3500 words, but for three days of the week I stop at 1700; so I decided I will give myself a weekly goal instead, that will be 17,500 words a week and my treat on completion of that goal will be one large Candy King pick and mix cup or Pringles tube all to myself.
A few weeks before Henry’s first birthday (Henry is my son) I started to think about improving my vocabulary for his benefit; so I started to read the dictionary and list all the words I am not familiar with and tried to teach them the best I could, whilst reading those new words out to Henry. Something happened where I couldn’t continue to do this; I became very busy and stressed out with life in general and I didn’t get beyond AL.
Thinking back to when I did that, I think it would benefit me if I started to do that again, because I think I over use the same words again and again and that won’t get me very far will it?
So I have decided to start up a weekly challenge where I will choose 10 words I am unfamiliar with and use them as much as I can in poetry and my blog for that week.
This should help improve my vocabulary.
So with this at the top of my current thoughts, the first 10 words will be;
Abate/Abatement/Abating – Make or become less strong, diminish
Aberrant/Aberration – Deviating from what is normal or acceptable (I am very aberrant then)
Abet – Encourage or assist (an offender usually)
Abeyance – in temporary disuse or gaping – to gape at
Ab Initio – From the beginning
Abject/Abjection – Miserable, wretched, degraded, despicable
Abjure/Abjuring/Abjuration – renounce an oath or an opinion or cause etc.
Abreast – side by side and facing the same way – up to date with
Abrogate/Abrogating/Abrogation – repeal, abolish (a law etc.)
Abscissa – Math (in a system of coordinates) shortest distance to the point vertical or the axis
I will find it very hard to include the word Abscissa to my work during the week, because I am not every well versed in math and I don’t completely understand it’s meaning even if I’ve read the dictionary clearly, so that will be left out.